Freeing Hearts From Ego Control…

The intent of this article is to offer a mental gift to some people who may have felt like they have been run over by obvious or unseen negative forces, making life miserable.

Before I show you a whole new outlook on life, I ask you to question yourself: where do you believe you live in your mental mind, the heart or the ego?  Do you know or understand the differences?  Perhaps what I am about to suggest doesn’t make sense because you’ve never experienced heart/ego conflict, or you cannot relate because your own balanced brain has been developed to feel fine in the world with everyone.  You would be a very blessed person indeed!

I know I lived in the extreme end of heart for my first 50 years.  Abused, neglected, and barely tolerated I took on the same imagination everyone else had of me, instead of believing in myself.  After playing along with self-neglect I finally found a way to re-learn who and what I was really all about – and why I was so miserably unhappy.  Once I figured out I had given my free life away to someone else’s policies I trained my mind to protect itself, and to cope by practicing a form of ego counterattack.

As a result I am balanced in a way others might want to strive to: sensitive and bullet proof.  Keeping all of my innate gifts I trained my naive heart to protect from manipulation and control.  I may still be fooled for a minute but eventually I’ll regain my own senses when in the orbit of a heart breaker.  Coming to mental awareness with emotional intelligence is empowering awesomeness you’ll want to work toward.

Brainwashing

As my work in hypnotherapy evolves I am noticing the emotional minds of sensitive souls are easily stolen for control.  That’s not how I want to roll in my career, I am God to One (me) and as a preferred choice I use the power of hypnosis to get straight to the heart of people rather than mess around with ego brushing.  I believe so much in the resources and talents of everyone’s unconscious mind why would I want anyone dependent on me for their happy life?   People are surprised I don’t actually practice hypnotherapy to brainwash folks, but to deprogram them from unhealthy brainwashing planted before me.  Everything in the ego is learned and can be unlearned.  The heart is the heart and will always be the truth, and it feels better living there than the cold place of ego.

I take liberties with some of the mental health labels many unfortunate souls are living with in this system of chemical imbalance guesses.  As far as I’m concerned pigeonholing is designed to define what is wrong with people who behave outside of norms.  It’s never a good pigeonhole.   I shake my head in dismay witnessing good people judge themselves to be weak, powerless, and sickly based on someone else’s opinion.  The whole mental illness hysteria is growing outrageously out of proportion to me, and if you keep reading you’ll see below I reframe things for a few people who are ready to take their lives back to the calm place of peace in the heart.

How does a person come to a place where they believe they do not have free will to live a life any way they see fit?  Why do so many people agree to live in torturous / uncomfortable situations with minimal rewards?

Abused people often sum up their lack of life-luster thinking a hormone or chemical imbalance is the culprit and try to take care of the problem outside of themselves.  I suggest it is not a chemical imbalance, instead an unconscious awakening of the human senses.  Human senses for survival are the connection to our unconscious so it makes sense for those who suffer habitiual obsessions, eating disorders, migraines, skin problems, and so on are probably reacting very badly to a system that may be harming their spirit.

Mentally ‘sick’ people appear to live in the heart like raw bleeding ducks.  They are kind, empathetic, unassuming (non judgemental).  They mistakenly believe everyone has the same heart.  The opposite to these types (ego dwellers) appear to be mentally strong but almost entirely live in learned conscious mind of entitlement.  These beings flip the world upside down and make it appear that black is white and white is black.  I know I’m not alone in my frustration at the upside down nature of points of view sometimes that appear to be the opposite to any truth I know.  Very strange to witness if you are aware.  The good look bad and the bad look good.  The lying life could drive somebody to insanity or suicide if they don’t come up with a way to reign in their emotions in the face of such social misunderstanding of their own truth, vs. the fantasy of someone else’s imagination.

Mental sickness guesses have changed over the ages to suit traditional and popular thinking of the times.  We have to understand that someone’s theory doesn’t necessarily make the ‘ideas’ true for the individual.  There is no proven scientific evidence of any mental disorder at all, none that can be proven by lab or x-ray, but the best marketers of medicine will spin imaginary horror stories about the mind with shocking fear and shame, having folks believing in things that work against their otherwise good free will.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM – the psychiatric and pharmaceutical flow of ideas updated and replaced annually describing mental diseases they didn’t think of before.   There is no chemical or brain lack proven with any of the ‘mental diseases.’  It’s all guess-work that makes sense to someone else.  What we have now is a trillion-dollar industry in health care – where maybe no health problem existed in the first place?   The left brain academics are proud of the dots they connect to define people and even agree the DSM is used for mind research – not as a cure for mental illness.  This is the description the Psychiatrists Organization start their book off with…

Their (guess makers*) dedication and hard work have yielded an authoritative volume that defines and classifies mental disorders in order to improve diagnoses, treatment, and research.”

 https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm/dsm-5

*Italics mine)

If we are going to take an authoritative stance and guess about what is wrong with people then let me participate in the fun:

Anxiety: Heightened sense of awareness living in a non aware world.  Senses the heart in others and assumes ego can feel hers. May be conditioned to doubt self and is left with feelings of panic in the confusion.  Needs nourishment of the right brain and validation of feelings: these sensitive souls feel invisible while suffering people’s bad moods as if it were theirs.   Angels in Disguise.

Depression:  Unconsciousness due to a blow to the head, namely on the right side hemisphere. After ages of oppression with little utilizing the creative side of the brain it has shut down into mental darkness for self-protection.

PTSD: Witness or victim of evil violence.  Shocked with a reality that is impossible to digest.  Denied the freedom to speak their truth by outside influences. Tongue cut out.

Bi-Polar:  Energized right brain oriented individual; often creative genius…has insight waking up and feels the joy of their own spirit.  All she wants to do is have fun.  Left brain world can hardly tolerate such excitement for life and labels her sick or bad behaving.  She will unconsciously rebel to the false judgement and often goes into a deep sadness or rage for the misunderstanding.  Very sensitive and intuitive.  Bless her heart she might die by her own hand feeling rejected from a world that does not see her beautiful gifts.

ADHD:  Right brain male child.  They are no different in needs than his female classmates for learning, but have not been as brainwashed to obey commands so much and appear to simply have behavior problems.  Can be labeled learning disabled or gifted, but the gifted part comes from the imagination.  He connects dots like the speed of lightning in the brain and comes up with the right answer often even without studying.  Poor kid can hardly tolerate external energy so finds ways to put self into trance: music, reading, video games, drugs, the allowed creativity in their right brain will help them find a way to survive.  Some become great inventors.

ADD:  Right Brain Male obediently allowing Left Brain Rules against their better spirit.  Won’t be inventing anything until allowed to use creative side of mind.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Person who has likely rarely been validated for her insights, sensitivity, intuition.  Has a lot of self-doubt and is insecure.  Can appear needy – strives for independence to distance herself from the abusive reactions to her being.  Easy Scapegoat. Appears different in thought and intuition, uses the imagination in creative ways.  Intuition is often so correct she scares people, and they don’t know why.  Can explode in a fury of unconscious frustration to the madness she senses externally and yet finds difficult to articulate.  Probably brilliant in a right brain activity.

On the other side of the spectrum is where Ego lives:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder:  Lives almost 100% in the ego mind.  Selfish and greedy minded, unless they are grooming someone for supply.  Jealous of sensitive ones.  Possibly abused with indulgent / neglectful upbringing.  Has found a way to cope by shutting down emotions and focusing only on self.  Extraordinarily manipulative:  Seeks a place of comfort in families, communities, business, and government.  Often the CEO who loves to be centre of attention because he knows he has something to offer the world.  Has lots of followers.

Left brain society value and reward this type way more than right brain emotional because they add some creativity to the logical gang without the emotional baggage of feelings.  Most are well-respected with much credibility even with evidence of low moral character.

NPD don’t like emotions other than anger, false pride, and envy although they may sense an unconscious hint of sadness.  Help is unlikely – there is nothing wrong with them – it’s everyone else’s fault.

If the narcissist cannot control you they seek to control others against you.  Will twist and turn any story into outrageous lies about their target.  Lacks empathy, cannot imagine the plight of others, and may even imagine perverse satisfaction in harming people closest to him.  Passive aggressive to the extreme.  Never means what they say.  Will take until the giver stops giving and not a moment before.  Will tolerate a lot to get what he needs.  Sucks his supply dry until there is nothing left to take.

God-Complex.  I believe this character projects that in the way to manipulate others into obedience (intimidates, scares and shames people with emotional stories).  Reacts negatively to criticism.  Better than everyone.  Will not obey if can get away with it.  Realizes their worth to the earth and ego matters.  Really  believes they are the superior ones.  They are about as spiritually asleep as you can get. Feels invincible in the human body.  We have to stop raising ego’s because these man-made creatures destroy the soul of the sensitive ones, and themselves in the process.

Most of us are very suggestible to emotional manipulation, triggered with fear or shame the vulnerable will believe anything sometimes because they think everyone else has the same good heart as they and wouldn’t lie to them.  People are free to choose to take medication to cover up the unhappiness for giving up their free will, or find another way to live with ego’s.  Ego can never understand the heart, and don’t want to.  The sad thing is some pure hearts are so enslaved they can become inadvertent protectors of the ego person if brainwashed well enough into submission.  They begin to find comfort thinking against others. They are the blind judgy one’s who keep the rules obeyed on behalf of narcissists.

Heart Oriented People – Please Return to Peace of Mental Mind and Spirit –

  • Decide to take back your free will of thinking, feeling and behaving
  • Do no harm to others, but make sure your will is taken care of before a narcissist’s needs take over.
  • If the imagination of yourself is negative give it back to the past and imagine better; perhaps guess who you are and be amazed at the ideas that come.
  • Agree, admit, and live like you are responsible for your own happiness every day  
  • Only you knows you – taking anything personal coming from the outside is like picking up someone else’s mind and adapting it as your own.  Be sure you agree to any judgement against you or brush it off and away from that orbit.
  • Remember we make mistakes but there is no mistake in our belonging to the human race like everyone else.  Be comfortable here.  We animals are smart in finding ways to survive and thrive – in our own skin.  There is nothing wrong with you coming up with ideas for your own good life.
  • End abusive mental thinking.  If someone else’s voice in your head and it sounds mean, harsh, punishing against you – kick that dude out as fast as possible.  The heart does not know the difference between fantasy and reality and will react as if you are feeding it the truth, sometimes leading to implosion of the mind and body.  You were powerless to change the original voice but you can control your own.
  • If these tips feel impossible, agree you want to love and respect yourself.  Begin to pretend you are allowed.  Soon, your unconscious will remember and you’ll build a life as if you believe it.  Work for self rewards not external punishment.
  • Let the chips of your decisions fall where they may, but natural consequences are good enough for the majority of people to guide their own lives.  Don’t let anyone else punish you if you didn’t break any laws.

I think it’s time we revisited all of the hype around life symptoms that can sound sick – or amazingly enlightened.  I suggest each person investigate the engrams of mental or physical problems.  Root cause of emotional disturbance doesn’t seem to be a priority by social government, medical science, pharmaceutical profiteers, or even the individual.  I’m beginning to wonder if people even want to learn their truthful will?  It might be more comfortable giving up purpose to please another who lives in ego state of mind.  To me that feels like submission of free will.  What do you think?

Please comment, like or share – the intent is to incite similar heart-minds to develop the practice of self-love and strength.  Thank you for your support.

Let’s save some lives by approving of all of them.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Her seasoned and evolving mental health practice is proven exceptionally effective in treating mental illness and addiction.  Clients emerge from depression, anxiety, dependency – sparking the renewal of happy, comfortable, in control lives.   If you are interested in learning more about mental / spiritual mind symptoms and what they could really be meaning to you as an individual, please visit MMH website for details and hypnotherapy service price list.  The process is lovely, empowering, safe, and it works to reframe the mental pictures of the abused mind for permanent recovery and a healthier, happier life.

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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When Did I Give Up My Mind to Science?

The more I engage in the practice of hypnosis the better insight from my unconscious I sense.  Things are starting to look amazing.  I hope you agree before they take this down !

Grab a coffee and enjoy a read that could change your life for the better instantly.  I will point out some simple clues to recovery, and explain in easy terms the mind, brain, science and snake oil.  To achieve this will you allow me to reframe some of the more traditional thinking?  If nothing else but for a moment of emotional relief from the strict confines of medical science I want to show you there may be another reason for mental illness epidemic we are seeing destroy families across the nations.

If the diagnostic model for mental illness has been working for you and the treatment programs you have been offered appeal to you, keep doing what you are doing and please don’t let my ideas offend you.  I have no intentions of changing anyone’s mind or method of treatment, I only share to inform another perspective that we could look at for the thrill of possibilities.

Well we have to give credit where credit is due.  The pharmaceutical trillion dollar industry has done a very good job on making sure we think mental illness is a permanent part of life, that without drugs the situation is hopeless. Labels and mind and mood altering drugs have become the new way to deal with problems for all ages of people, from the elderly being most likely to be on a psychiatric drug (Vancouver Sun states 97% of elderly); women next followed by children being the most common consumers before men.  We are rapidly giving in to sickly diagnosis of incurable mental illness which can come within minutes of sitting in front of a doctor.  How can they know you have a Serotonin problem when they can’t even be bothered to take a blood test?  They say mentally ill people need drugs to balance something, but have never proven the imbalance to the individual.  I know I’ve been offered and accepted anti-depressants by almost every single doctor I encountered beginning in about 1998.  At first we are told it was for only three months, then I must find another way to peace.

I use to blindly (not using my own senses) believe a man (or anyone) could know what is wrong with my body and mind without a scientific test. How is that for giving up will to another?  How do we come to that place as equal partners to other humans?

It is a fact of life that the people feeling weak or vulnerable are at a risk of being led somewhere that works against their own good senses for a satisfying life experience.

It is no secret in my community that I present myself as appalled at the current way we treat mental illness in Canada. To me it is not only keeping people sick, it is contagious through the family and generations to come.  Popping pills is NORMAL and we wonder why kids need drugs to cope and find their own way to get the job done.

Addictions continue to take over the will and lives of good people who become dependant on everything and everyone other than themselves.  We have much fear around trusting our own good judgement and intuition on how to live, and live well.

I think we have turned our will and our lives over to the power of others – is that what we are suppose to do?

Can it make us sick?

See if these unconscious bits of wisdom that comes to me doesn’t appeal to your better judgement:

Depression can be the best thing that ever happens to a person. It is a message from the unconscious that a sense (or more than one sense) is out of balance and needs attention.  It could be a spiritual emergency.

Self medicating is not going to help in the long run because it shuts down the part of the brain that is suffering, the right hemisphere.

Right brain is where ideas, emotions, and creativity for problem solving live.

Recovery becomes next to impossible to tap into while on long-term acting anti-depressants, which are designed to dull the senses for emotional pain relief.  Drugs are supposed to inhibit sight, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells to protect the patient from…life.

What is less known is the pharmaceuticals also affect the senses of sexual arousal, hunger, insight and sometimes common sense – putting children at risk of being neglected or placed in dangerous situations, depending on how strength legally prescribed drug the parent is taking.  Just because they do not give a ‘high’ does not mean those senses aren’t blocked.

Living with dulled senses for any length of time is not healthy to any reasonable thinking person.

In my opinion the whole chemistry theory simply cannot work for a spiritual energy, but this isn’t the first time I’ve sensed people in authority were wrong.

Like the time my pastor insisted (and I willingly believed) women bleed because of a punishment from God, and my role on earth was to serve man.  No wonder I was tired, ashamed, and felt hopeless.

Ideas may not flow to the blocked mind and yet that is where our true answers live. Think of depression as a clear signal that change is needed in some area of life.  If we cannot hear what the sense of depression is saying, how on earth can we end the pain and grow forward?

The imagination is what gets folks into trouble and it is what leads the way out.   But if we have no ability to imagine the best for ourselves we risk manifesting what we are imagining in the darkness.

I ask you to begin to deliberately imagine a better life you can enjoy.  You are allowed to fantasize the best for yourself besides in sexual situations!

To exercise your very own intuit; find a creative outlet that seems like fun to you. Colour, draw, write, or otherwise focus on something that will take you out of your head and in new light, so to speak. Play, pretend, enjoy something, no matter how small – as often as possible. Decide what is enjoyable for you, and do that.

Give up the control and responsibility of everyone else for extended periods of time – and never let anyone control you away from your peace.

Please become aware of the tapes you play in your mind about yourself, your life, and your problems.

The more we tend to focus, obsess, worry, the more of the same will we seem to bring about. For example, thinking about fat all day long will literally create more fat!

Maybe you can’t control the world at large, but you can get yourself into good mental shape if you think you matter enough.

Imagine you are responsible for one life and if you can manage that you pass the test and win.

If you build a foundation that works for you everything else will fall into place.

The universe will respond to your energy and reveal opportunities that will show you what you are really made of when connected to yourself.

If you are depressed because you didn’t learn solid coping skills, or were not really conditioned to sense a healthy image of self, please know that you are not permanently damaged! DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT, please.

It is never too late to change your imagination and gain these tools to thrive in life in a manner that actually works for you.

Begin to allow the idea that you are much more than this. Inside of you is a miracle just waiting to be revealed I promise.

I’m winding down:  This one is going to be hard for you, I know: But,

Be gentle with yourself, okay? No more tough love.

Chances are others were not always gentle with you and you’ve learned very well how to take over the emotional whippings.

Or, if you tend to be hardon others around you – maybe leave them alone.

Live. Let live. Let go. Grow.

Clear the fearful, shamed or angry energy in any way that works for you.

Aren’t you sick of people being mad at you, giving you unwanted advice, meddling in your business like you don’t have a lick of sense yourself?

Take yourself back at any time by speaking up against control.

Set boundaries.  We teach people HOW to treat us.  Teach them well.

Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.

The stress of everyone else’s emotional reactions is just too much so please don’t inflict unnatural fears and worries on others to pick up

And don’t let anyone do it to you.

Remember, you are responsible for ONE soul this journey.

Treat yourself and others kindly, keep a clear conscience for peace of mind.

I ask that you never push yourself to do what you are not ready to do. You will know when you have had enough, and not a moment before.

Go with flow, not against it

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek out help in a way that makes good sense to you.

Depression is sick, not stupid.

Use your senses of insight to make decisions about how you want to get your life back.

Ensure the person or program you seek assistance from respects you as an individual, and has uplifting, motivating, inspirational ways to get you to your life recovery.

Recovery does not have to be mean, harsh, or punishing. In fact, if it feels nasty the odds of it working is unlikely

Stay away from fads and fashions that have no clinical results.

People spend thousands of dollars trying to find the easiest, less painful way to self and end up with the least success.

Hypnotherapy is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works – but if the client is not willing to put any effort into the treatment – well, you get out of anything what you put into it.

Research and then ask yourself for the best answer on the kind of help you seek from others.

Talking about your problems is good. Once is enough.  After that you are beating a dead horse.

Going on and on and on is embedding the issues into the unconscious creating bad feelings all day long.

One good idea is to stop focusing on how you got to this place, and ask yourself what the solutions might be.

You know everything if you take the time to ask yourself. Isn’t it time?

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Please like and share if you find this helpful.  I am soon going to be producing a video blog so that I can just say all of this with my face right there for you to get to know. Let’s start talking about some other solutions than what we are currently being offered by the medical establishment.

Be like me; take back control over your comfortable happy life 🙂

Cherylann Thomas, BASc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist working out of the Family Wellness Centre in West Kelowna, BC. She has made a name for herself specializing in grief, loss, depression, anxiety and believes she is successful because of her amazing story of how she came to be at peace with some serious life situations that would bring most to their knees.  Cherylann copes happily with anything that comes her way today. She says, “Bring it!” to life challenges because she has a sincere belief that no problem is ever too big it cannot be fixed!

 

What if Your Wounds Lead You To Your Purpose?

What if there really is a good reason for our emotionally painful life experiences? What if it was to prepare us for our journey to come?

At the cell level of my being I understand pain, fear (terror), resentment, loneliness and even envy of what others had and I did not. I use to think I was one of the most unfortunate souls to walk the earth, the mother of a child who died. While I once said giving birth to a baby was painful; I soon learned I would experience even harsher torture when I had to give Trevor back 25 years later.

When I did begin to investigate to find out why I couldn’t seem to find any emotional peace in my life I realized that the image of myself was all wrong for me. I didn’t belong there. I was better than that. I didn’t fit in the not so merry place of victimland where “Oh Woes Me” could be heard for miles. After a while I never really felt comfortable in that role and I somehow sensed there had to be more for me.  I recalled when I was a 16 year old mess my stepmother looked in my eyes, deeply, and said, “Cheryl, you are special.  Don’t ever forget that.”   I hung onto those words because I needed them for a lifeline from time to time, and they are the words I clung to when I decided to throw caution to the wind and find my own truth.

It was hard because I have a whole shitload of trauma and drama most people would never be able to lift out of. If you knew my complete story (and some of you reading do); you would all understand if I just packed up my bags and lived in self pain for the rest of my miserable life. YOU would be compassionate and understand, but I somehow felt there was better for me.

I had to get tough with myself. No more lying inside to attempt to make myself OR SOMEONE ELSE feel better. That didn’t work. No more lying and secrets, shame and stuffing. Time to get real. When I finally did GET IT I was pleasantly surprised to find my own Truth is actually very special. Who I am. What I am. And where I am going all became very clear to me. I know now I’ll never look back.

My new attitude doesn’t mean I don’t still hurt myself from time to time with my own human impulses.  And I can get just as reactive as the next guy (sometimes that show really looks ridiculous), but today I look at it like I make mistakes, but I am no longer ‘a’ mistake.  And I ignore set backs.

Sometimes the worst of the worst has to happen to us before we are ready to use available tools (and there are options for everyone when we look) to recover from trauma.

I learned I had to stop being a baby and to realize I am not the only suffering soul. There are people out there far worse off than me and when I open my eyes and see how much I really do have I immediately have emotional peace.

I should be more compassionate at times when I see the whining and crying over everyday minute solvable things; I realize it irritates me only because I was there too and perhaps I’m mad at myself for not understanding sooner.  Petty gossip to reduce your friend just about drives me around the bend. We don’t take responsibility anymore. Everything is everyone else’s fault or we are a victim of circumstances. What if you are suffering because you like to? Perhaps this is what your psyche is use to and so you keep doing it?

I suggest we are better than that, under the clutter. You (yes you!) are an amazing person with a potential for an amazing mission. Lift up out of the bowels of emotional despair and find your hero within.  When this is achieved I suspect you too will find your wounds actually do lead you to your exciting life purpose.  The walls will all come down and you’ll not only think outside of your old box, you’ll see there is no box at all!

That’s my message, that’s all. I don’t want to pick on anyone feeling down and out.  It would hurt me if I knew my message hurt someone who is feeling powerless right now. My intention for writing today holds two thoughts: 1. I like to share to inspire people up, and 2. I like to vent (sound out my passion) this way. I find it therapeutic. 🙂  If this did not suit your story that is fine too. ❤

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a seasoned Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of Wesk Kelowna, BC Canada. She specializes in mental illness resolution including depression, anxiety, mood disorders, grief, loss, sexual abuse, childhood trauma.  Cherylann is trained using the latest therapeutic hypnotic techniques including suggestion, regression, PLRegression, Parts and Cords therapies for habits, loss and abandonment.

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I Put My Eyes Inside of Myself and Guess What I Found?

If you are open, or ready, you will hear me today 🙂  This is big.  And kinda deep.  Be forewarned you may find your own life’s question here today!

The Truth to everything I needed to know about myself was inside of me all along.  I just didn’t dare look.  Based on the harshness of my upbringing, and cruel tapes I continued to play regarding my horrible self (in my mind) how could I comfortably look inside of me without risking finding I am the devil incarnate or something worse?

After I closed my eyes, plugged my nose, and jumped in to myself, instead of finding Ted Bundy’s sister, I found a vision of beauty.  I found my core intentions are usually about a pure as they could get!  I see flaws, I see many mistakes, and when I put it into proportion to my story, I feel instant forgiveness!   Today when I look at myself I see more awesomeness than the bad stuff!  What I thought would be the most painful thing to do, ended up being the easiest ride I’ve had my entire life!  Easy, and addicting and healthy!

Sometimes investigating our feelings and behaviors is the hardest thing to do.  Our disturbance makes us feel moody, off balance, uncertain.  Soon enough the negative (dark) emotions overtake the good light and energy from our always decaying bodies.  They weigh heavy on our heart, spirit, soul, that we can hardly function sometimes.  Feelings can become a physical sickness if the root of the disturbance is never brought to light. It can be terminal by accident, homicide or suicide, or death by utter heartbreak.

Anger.  Fear.  Worry.  Guilt.  Shame.  Jealousy.  Envy.  Self loathing. Insecurity.  These are our enemies.  This is stress and anxiety right there.  These are our demons that have to be conquered to feel well emotionally.  And what do we do?  We keep feeding them.  We allow them to reside inside of ourselves for long periods of time.  The energy suckers just keep getting bigger and bigger creating havoc and conflict and covering up our actual strong, beautiful, amazing selves.

Some people think our emotions are impossible to be rid of because they are a part of our being, our core.  And some say I am asking too much.   The nay-sayers swear emotions are created by something not in their control.  Serotonin or a person did it too us.  Not so grasshopper, not so.  If you can imagine the worst, the way you are, you can imagine the best!  You have always had full control but no one ever told you that.  They said you were sick, or a hopeless sinner.  They judged you with their vivid imagination.  And you allowed your imagination to see the same bullshit someone else told you was wrong.  Your thinking, feelings, emotions…all learned imaginary beliefs, or made up by yourself.

Our God-given purity is so encased in negative and disruptive emotions we hardly know our true selves anymore.  We begin to act out.  Alcohol, pot, and anti-depressant abuse takes over until our brains are so nicely flat-lined, we just don’t care anymore.  We become apathetic to our living situations. Our hell.  We get use to it.  It becomes as real as anything solid to us.  My message is that we are held back only by our limited belief systems.  Me…you…all of us are in this together.  Most of us have indulged in the feel-good quick fix, am I lying?

If we learned how to deal with our troubling emotions, and allowed ourselves to be completely honest, we would all be walking around free with a heart full of passion and a head full of gratitude instead of all of this stress and anxiety.

I want you to do something (please).  Take your most troublesome emotion.   Name one.  Look closely at what it is, and what it means.  Do you own it or is it a lie you have accepted into yourself?  For example, if you are walking around with a heavy heart of guilt, or shame, put it up to the light of day and take a good hard look at it.  Do you own that?  Do you deserve a lifetime of self-abuse because you are to be ashamed of yourself, or guilty for some infraction during your life?  Did you do it deliberately?  Is it something you can change?  Was your intention to harm some one or some thing?  If not, what, exactly, are you holding onto the shame or guilt for???

Are you filled with fear and anxiety?  What is going on there I wonder?!  Look inside, you know it, you remember everything.  Once you find the Truth in the emotion your symptoms will diminish instantly because you will know exactly what to do to ‘solve’ the problem, or you may there is nothing to do about it at all.  Inside of your true core self you will find you are innocent, safe, and in control of everything, and the renewed power feels GREAT!

When you finally allow the truth to surface in the face of your feelings, you will be AMAZED at how beautiful, and wonderful, the Truth really is!  You were never suppose to give up!  The subject is even crazy to consider, isn’t it?  If you are so foreign to the rest of us humans and you care to punish yourself forever that is another matter.  Then you have to go inside and find out why you beat yourself so harshly for your human frailties.  Sure, figure out what it is you need to change about yourself.  Admit it.  Own it.  And now stop it.  Done.  It really is that simple, and you really do have that much control over yourself.  Have you given yourself life for this infraction?  Is that appropriate?   We are but a sum of learned thinking and feeling.  We are better than whatever that looks and feels like.

Through the ages we have been brainwashed by either pharmaceutical commercials or religious organizations to believe we have no control over our emotional or physical well being.  That God or drugs will save us, nothing else.   I am saying we are trained, generation before generation since the beginning of time that we are NOT to depend on our own good common sense!  We are sinners!  We are Sick!  Only GOD or Effexor will bring you back to life, depending on your belief system.   The trouble is, these are lies for most of the population in emotional trouble!   Our very own girl (or boy) inside is pure, healthy, fit, powerful, confident, and in control of everything.   Not only that, we are really filled with love, compassion and JOY!  In every generation before us higher powers have tried (and really succeeded didn’t they?) to take our gift of free will (control over selves) away in the name of power, control, money.  W to believe in something other than ourselves and that is the worst mistake a spirit can make…believing it!

The more lies, secrets, shame we stuff, the more we lose of that better part of ourselves.   The more we lose our light.

Let’s look at another emotion you may be harboring, driving yourself crazy with.  Anger.  I was once told by a mentor of mine, years ago, that any anger I hang onto, is anger at myself and myself alone.  I said that makes no sense.  Someone did me wrong, robbed me, and I can be angry, right?  She said, “Right.”  For a minute.  Then you deal with it, talk about it, get it out in the open – or end something you have no control over.  Anything after that is you, and you need to see what you are so mad at yourself for.  Chances are it will be something like you picked him, or stayed too long, or didn’t speak up, or could have moved and didn’t…you get my meaning.  All emotions belong solely to the beholder.  Think about the last time you were angry for a long period of time at someone, or some situation.  It stuck to you like a stickly black toxic poison and you allowed it to stay a while.  I’ll tell you why.  You did something wrong and were mad at yourself.  Done.  Owning your stuff is the key to ending the free rent for enemy feelings.  The next thing to do is forgive yourself and decide to do it even better next time.  Learn, let go, live.  We are born to make mistakes, we are not A mistake!

But you see here is the problem:  Many of us were raised in situations that created negative tapes in our heads.  We learned to play these tapes, over and over and over in our own little vulnerable minds, beating the living life out of ourselves, because of these messages we learned to think, “I am stupid.”  “I am ugly.”  “I am too ____.”  or my favorite of all, “I am _____,”.  Name your judgment because that is all it is…a learned judgment.  They are not facts.  They have no power because they are not real.  They are the figment of the imagination, typically brought on by an experience, an outside judgment, or a series of experiences that made our minds add one and one and come up with something not true.  And then we feed that to oblivion sometimes.

Today is a good day to take a peek at what is really going on inside.  Pull out any emotion you choose, and decide you are done feeling it.  Look at it carefully, examine all sides.  If it is yours, do something about it.  If it is not yours, or if it is not a proven fact, shift your imagination to something else.  Something better for yourself.  It all starts with a new thought, the seed of everything.

Wishing everyone reading this love, peace and light.

Cherylann Thomas

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Cherylann Thomas is a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association operating a successful hypnotherapy practice in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Skype Service is available.

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A Fistful of Dimes!

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I’ve been talking to my friends about these dimes I keep finding all over the house in places dimes shouldn’t be.  It’s so obvious it gets stupid sometimes…but it reminds me of the years immediately following my son’s death, I would find dimes in the strangest places…so many times I took notice.   I never heard of such blessings before; other than the cliché, Pennies From Heaven. but what’s with dimes, I wondered?

A few years into the dime gifts, I remembered something, and an awareness washed over me like a warm, loving blanket: Just one month before his death, on May 27th, I made a gift to my son for his 25th birthday. For some reason that birthday I wanted to make him a HOMEMADE cake, not an easy fix store-bought one anyone can buy.

Sidenote (squirrel) I like to share I am an amazing cook and even can my own stock, soups, stews, and even my girls’ dog food; but I know I have zero skills in the baking department (see the cake in question below). My son laughed so hard at my well-intentioned attempt but held it all back by covering his face with a birthday hat.

But wait, there was more to this homemade birthday cake: At the time I was formulating the type of cake I would make (choosing from a variety of boxed Betty Crocker cake mix), I remembered the delightful surprise of getting coins in my cakes as a child growing up. Well, either I got them or I saw a friend’s cake full of money once. I don’t remember precisely where the coins in a cake idea came from in my history, but I knew I wanted to put some DIMES in my son’s cake this year! And so I wrapped several dimes in wax paper and slipped them in his cake.  This memory / connection completely slipped my mind until years after Trevor’s death.

Trevor's dime cake

For some reason I was feeling very nostalgic and just wanted to give my son a homemade cake I had never given him before, with a surprise of dimes, representing my wish for peace, happiness, and abundance for his future, inside my homemade cake!

I know it’s taking a leap about the coincidence of dimes in his birthday cake and me finding a bunch of dimes after he passed. But keep reading…and these coinkydinks keep getting curiouser and curiouser.

So, that was a lovely sensation of understanding about my dime situation all those years ago. But now, here they are back. In the last few months I’ve again found a multitude of dimes, usually singularly. Today I was at a 7-11 store and my coin change for $5.12 worth of two beverages, was a fist full of dimes!  The clerk apologized repeatedly, as I starred with mouth wide open at what he had given me, him stating dimes was all he had for change.

Thanks to witness and photographer Arlana Tanner Sibelle, I have a photo of my dimes I am sharing here!

When I got home from our outing at the Penticton Angels and Fairies Expo (I can’t make this stuff up, because that is where I was all weekend), and pondered my blessing of all those dimes today in one fell swoop, another awareness washed over me, and I had to check my calendar!

Sure enough, today is June 14th: and is the last date I saw my son alive.  That day, June 14th, 2003, I was watching Trevor pack up his 1985 BMW (a wedding gift from his in-laws) with his final belongings from our house. Gary, Ximi, Trevor and I were chatting, hugging goodbye, chatting again…hugging again. In just two weeks Trevor would be starting his heavy duty mechanic career at International Trucking in Edmonton. Ximi was going to ‘nest’ their new apartment until the fall, when she would return to school to complete her Tourism Management Degree. Her dream was to open a club.

I was so happy for these young pups, who had struggled so hard to get to where they could finally begin a life together with new blessed beginnings.

After a final kiss and squeeze, the kids piled in the packed car. Slowly driving away, they both had their arms sticking out of the windows, waving goodbye. My husband and I hugged each other, walked up the steps back to our house, and something sharp shifted inside of me. I felt horrible, and no understanding as to why. I wasn’t one of those clingy mothers who would suffer severe empty nest syndrome; that’s not the way it felt.

The truth is, I knew. I didn’t know I knew until two weeks later, when, on June 28, 2003, my son was taken from us in a car accident. Today’s that anniversary of the last time I held my son. Today I got a fistful of dimes.

I never thought I would recover such a traumatic loss, of my only child.  But I have.  I now understand he was a gift for me, for a wonderful 25 years.  I cherish those memories, and believe I am who I am today because of his birth, and because of his death.

About Love and Loss and How I Overcame

About Love and Loss and How I Overcame

I wrote this yesterday for my personal Facebook page.  I decided it was worthy of including in my business practice as well; so here is a glimpse into the reason why I became a Clinical Hypnotherapist.  It really is very personal to me, and my dream is to help others lift out of hopeless despair in my work — because I, of all people, know that peace of mind is available for everyone, because it was possible for me.   I hope you enjoy this part of my story:

It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow. He would have been 37.

May 26, 1978 …Was the last day of my life as I knew it. From that date forward I would never be the same again. I was 18 years old, 127 pounds, and about to give birth to a 6 pound, 13 ounce healthy baby boy. The difference this birth would make to my life was so incredible, it felt spiritual.

I had no husband beside me. My boyfriend turned out to be in the closet gay and wasn’t handling it well; so he was never in the picture by his own choice. My stepmother held my hand. My father tried to stop my pain by offering vodka. My mother was 10 hours away as I was long ago a run-away teen. My best friend, Cindy, couldn’t be there because she had to cover my job as a full time nanny.

I was in labour for 72 hours. My body was very tiny and I was giving birth naturally. The Lamaze method was a new way to breathe back in the 70s. Some folks, not ones giving birth, I’m sure, said drugs were bad in childbirth. Was Lamaze a man? I wondered. I begged for the Demoral and finally got it.

As I became a new mother, I held a grade 9 education (although I did attend grade 10 — epic fail). I left a bad scene in my family home that I just could not tolerate anymore. And, I wanted to be free.  I was never free in my home.  I had no self-esteem, my primary feelings were anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, shame and guilt. I shake my head a bit as I realize that my poor baby didn’t have much of a chance, did he?

What made this event so spectacular was that for the first time in my life I would experience the sensation of maternal love. As I write this I get goosebumps just remembering looking at the utterly beautiful specimen in my arms and thinking, “Oh my God! How I love YOU!” I had no idea mothers felt like that! The new emotions were literally breath-taking. The blue skies opened up, the happy angels were singing, and all was right with the world.

It was a struggle. But this little guy, whom I named Trevor Thomas, kept me going like nothing else ever could. He motivated me to go back to school. I wanted a good life for Trevor and knew I’d have to go out and get it, and I did! In 1982 I met and married a good man, and we built a good life for our small family. We had all of the nice careers, homes and cars. From 1981 through to the late 2000’s I was building my career in the social/business sciences by educational achievements, involvement in politics and community organizations, and being a stand up employee and business woman.

I knew Trevor was watching me as he grew up. I knew he would only learn by me and whomever I allowed into our world to model for this child of mine. I wasn’t the best parent, I over-indulged my child and he did have some struggles with impulsivity and need for instant gratification as a result. I own that. I also feel a great deal of pride of how Trevor picked up some traits I value, openness, honesty, and compassion for others. He was all of that and more.

Trevor is the reason I am so very, very different than those dark days of youth. I couldn’t muster up enough sense of self to make something of myself, but this birth changed everything for me. It goes beyond any other kind of love I have had since. Gary and I were unable to have more children. I was told I was lucky I had my son at such a young age, because I had a serious fertility problem that would prevent any further completed pregnancies. Not many people know this about me, but I have had four pregnancies, only one birth. And that one didn’t make it 26 years.

My son was killed in a car accident in 2003.  I’ll leave that there for now…

Sadly, our marriage could not sustain the emotional roller coaster ride that followed such a trauma. After 25 years of marriage, we said goodbye, and I began my new life here, in the Okanagan.

Trevor made me get up and live before. Who was going to get me up now?

I am not going to lie, I went back to all of the ugly old emotions of my childhood days real quick. My coping skills were zero. Well, I think I had the tools (much of my career was in employment counselling and teaching lifeskills to income assistance recipients) but I just didn’t have the strength to bother using what my intellect knew I should do.

Standing up when you feel so utterly filled with grief and a sort of black fog is all around, with no light to be seen anywhere, is not easy when you don’t have much of a foundation to draw from. Trust me.  Some of you may already know what I’m saying.

Most who know me know I went down the psychiatric label and drug route for about five years after Trevor died. That was a mess. It sure didn’t get me anywhere in life, and at the end of the day, Trevor’s still not here with me. I had to deal with my emotions. I said, “If I have to live, I insist I live well.” No other options in my mind.

So, I picked up my pills, had a heart to heart — told them they doing it for me anymore and they had to go. (Insert warning: never, ever suddenly stop taking any psychiatric drug, find a friendly pharmacist who will help you wean off properly, your doctor won’t be helpful, in my experience, it is their job to push them as the best coping method).

The following piece was inserted for my personal friends’ understanding

I hope the paragraph below doesn’t sound self-serving, as I review it…honestly, all I have is my own real story.  My friends know I am a Clinical Hypnotherapist myself now, and I work with depression, anxiety and grief as specialties. My story is just not complete without me mentioning that at the risk of drawing attention away from the point of my sharing.

*****

The beginning of my second new life after Trevor’s death began to form in late 2007. I went south to White Rock to see a Clinical Hypnotherapist to hopefully find peace of mind and resolve my anxieties, and black depression. I heard the process of hypnotherapy was like counselling on steroids, and you get to the root of feelings light-years faster than the traditional talk therapy process.

I engaged in fourteen hypnosis and hypnotherapy sessions in sixteen days, and have never looked back.

I found Cherylann again. I found her strength, I found her power, I found her sense of self. I am okay, you know. A little sensitive sometimes, but generally calm, and at peace with myself and who I am.

I had another serious trauma happen in my world again in 2011, which is another book; but it seems nothing will keep me down because here I am, feeling confident, in control, calm.

Today Trevor continues to live in me as I remember his spirit, his love, his sense of humour, his kindness. He had a heart of gold and anyone who knew him will confirm. Trevor died because he completed his mission. I had this treasure for 25 blessed years, and today I say thank God I can feel again. I don’t have to pack my bags and live in grief anymore, but I can cry, and that, to me, is a gift I will cherish forever.

Conclusion

I am quite removed from that skinny emotional mess back on May 26th, 1978. The next morning, on the 27th, at 3:31 a.m. the whole world would open up for me, forever. For eternity, I am sure. Happy Birthday Trevor! I miss you as much today as I did yesterday, and the same as I will miss you tomorrow.

*******

Update

UNCONSCIOUS MIND at work as I sleep, OR TREVOR?  

I normally sleep very well at night.  Something woke me in the wee hours of the morning, it was still very dark but I didn’t see the time.  I felt wide awake and even restless, so I went to the kitchen to pour myself a drink of water (ice-tea).  I sat around for a few moments, turned the t.v. on, then off.   Decided it was probably way too early to think about staying up, so I went back to bed and fell on my back, eyes wide open.  So, I grabbed my Kindle to read a bit, maybe that would lull me back to sleep.  As soon as Kindle popped open the time flashed in front of me,  3:40 a.m.  It is my son’s birthday, and he was born at 3:31 a.m. on this day…I had been up for about 8-9 minutes, what are the typical conscious odds of me waking up at the exact time of his birth?  !