EXPOSING THE NARCISSIST

Are you feeling weak, anxious, depressed or stressed for nothing you can put your finger on?  You could be in the orbit of a malignant Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a very real problem in today’s society and these extremely disturbed beholders will create much drama and trauma in the wake of their numerous intimate and social relationships throughout their lifetime.

No matter how smart you are, they have a genius way of making non narcissists feel confused, anxious, and stuck with them.

Sadly, if you have allowed yourself to be victim in the clutches of a narcissist chances are you doubt your own good senses to the point you’ve completely lost your ability to see things objectively.  Truthfully.  I’d like you to remember that you are capable.  You can solve problems.  You are okay but you have got to get away.

Hiding from Truth reduces our natural ability of feeling in control, strong, self-confident and capable.

It is very difficult to recognize the signs of a narcissist until the damage has been done. Please take this article as fair warning.

Narcissists push the buttons of emotionally reactive (normal) people and then watch the drama unfold in glee. This is how they get fed.  They need your emotional energy to survive because they have none.  But even still you will tend to only see the things you have in common.  You have so many things in common because the N will mirror his image for your pleasure until you are sucked right in.  So you want it to work.  Will it to work.  And all too often good folks are willing to give up their very identity in an attempt to make this (hopeless) relationship work until they are bled completely dry.

Symptoms of NPD

Narcissists secretly (sometimes overtly) feel superior to the rest of the general population.  They tend to have a lot of false pride — pride in things they did not earn themselves.  They will be jealous of your success and relationships and create mind-boggling interference (character assassination causing family, employment, or community & social alienation).  Narcissists are often sexually over-active, entitled, demanding, critical of others, and have cold views of people and the world.  N’s see people with feelings as weak, and make delicious meat out of their supply to feed themselves with.  They do not care who their supply is — even their own children are feed for the malignant narcissist vampire; so why do you think they would love you more?

Narcissists are men and women. They are CEO’s of corporations, volunteer or political organizations; they love to manage other people’s money and businesses…and they are heads of families. If they are not the leader they are the sidekick of someone with more standing than themselves in an attempt to morph themselves into the power they crave.

These beings do not seek mental health help (remember there is nothing wrong with them), but they sure can create self-doubt if their victim is not strong enough to ward off such brilliant manipulation.  More often than not the N’s target was already raised by one or more narcissists and find the abusive cycle familiar, comfortable…and so they dive in to the same kind of abusive relationship…again and again and again…until they (we) finally get it.

I was raised by two of them, and one sibling out of four made my life a living hell while I was engaged in co-dependent abusive relationships. I didn’t get it until I lost everything to the whims of the malignant narcissists I grew up with.  I was 50 when my mother died making sure she got the last word, leaving angry and very sad family drama in her wake. I finally see the insanity of my relationship with the narcissist. It can’t work. It is a co-dependent reign of confusion that will never end until one of the two participants finally leaves.

Trouble is, if you are repeatedly hurt and neglected and used and spoken ill of you may attract more of them in your adult years and you tend to stay in longer than is healthy or just go out and find new ones to abuse you.  It is like we become magnets for the same kind of abuse we experienced as younger, impressionable youths.

Who Are the Narcissists!?

Narcissists are your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, best friend, boss, coworker…there is no discrimination to be a narcissist.  NPD is as common as any other labeled mental illness and it is in the DSM as a psychiatric disorder. There are no medications for such a problem, however. The Narcissist lacks conscious feeling and there is no drug or treatment that can grow a conscious feeling from nothing.

Sometimes your narcissist will at first glance appear to be like a knight in shining armor; or a prince or princess charming, if you will. Your own good unconscious mind may pick up that something is wrong right off the bat; maybe you will act on it, but the N will cry, and need you.  Then the old critical conscious mind wins by ignoring those powerful intuitions we are all born with.   Very soon the charismatic mask will slide off and what you will find underneath of your new relationship is about as ugly as it gets.  But by then most long-term sufferers have completely stopped listening to themselves and their own good judgement.

We let the narcissist in and share our secrets, stories, ambitions, and weaknesses.  Ah, the narcissist loves your weaknesses!  When you stop being obedient the N will take your secrets and hold them up to the light of day for everyone to see in an attempt to shame you, guilt you, reduce you in the eyes of others.  The narcissist gets a sick pleasure feeding off of the fears and worries and shames of others.  They will twist your words as they project their own ugly minds on you…as if you think like that.  You don’t.  Trust yourself.  Trust yourself.  Can I say that again?

That’s why I suggest so frequently to not listen to gossip!  If you feed on talk about someone you know nothing about soon you very well could be that mouth’s next target.  You can count on being next.

We have somehow learned to stop listening to our own wise inner selves and sacrifice our emotional well-being as we keep the abusive cycle alive. When we ignore our own Truth we can count on something giving.  Inside of yourself you will create stress, anxiety, depression, drug or alcohol abuse as a way of coping the uncontrollable dance with a malignant narcissist.

It’s Time to Take Control

First, practice trusting your intuition before you trust anyone else.  Next, when you finally come to the realization you are in a dangerous relationship do not confront the narcissist.  It will be like reasoning with their cousin, the serial killing psychopath.  And, it will give them time to find a way to control you even more dangerously.  There is no point to confronting an N at all because they cannot change.  And things can get very very bad for you if you do not make the break quickly and quietly.  Tell a few close friends what is happening before the break.  Protect your good name, children if involved, and assets before you make your escape.

The NPD can destroy your reputation and emotional well-being so masterfully it rarely gets confronted by their active listening audience, or even the supply herself.  You don’t know what the hell is going on so what can you do?  You wonder what is wrong with you and you keep trying to fix yourself to be better.  You never will be good enough as long as you allow creatures like this into your psyche.  I realize we have to live among all people to get along but this is one person you do not want to get too close, or reveal your innermost secrets to.  Not if you don’t want to feel the shame and embarrassment when your personal laundry gets aired out in public later…when you no longer toe the line.

You Are Better Than You Think!

You have the information.  Now it is up to you to give your head a shake and ask yourself if you are the problem, or is someone else making you the problem?  I do not pussyfoot around with aggressive or passive aggressive abusers in my life anymore.  I just cannot afford the risk after already losing everything to the N’s of my past.  Whenever I come in contact with another narcissist (they are in every circle) I run, not walk the other way as fast as I can without causing damage to myself.  If I must be in the company of a narcissist I have a protective bubble all around me as I observe with caution.

Your own intuition will never lead you wrong.  Listen to your good and far wiser Truth and enjoy the freedoms of life you are offered.  Your journey is suppose to be yours without fear, remember that.

Whoever ends the codependent cycle of narcissistic abuse wins.  For your sake and safety, make sure it is you.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist in Westbank BC, specializing in empowering her clients to emotional and mental freedom from abuse and trauma.  Helping her clients face the fear, worry, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, grief, loss and despair is what finally brings her clients peace, strength and a renewed zest for life.   Check out her website and facebook at

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

You Will Never Be Enough

Under Construction

Reactions to stressful events or people can be the reason for a downfall.  The initial problem/situation will pass, but poor reaction and coping skills can make things much worse.  To protect yourself try not to emotionally react.  Have a bath, sip some wine, take a long run or walk, dunk your head in the toilet I don’t care.  Just don’t make any decisions that could affect you negatively later!   Doubling our problems is what we do when over-reacting, so save yourself the added pain and tend to yourself gently in stressful times.

We have the potential to use the imagination to build and live a happy life.  More often than not people use their own imagination to make themselves sick with heightened emotions of anger, resentment, worry, fear, guilt, shame even rage.  The most damage is done during this time period.  Some tend to react impulsively if the emotions take over too much leading to murder, suicide, and accidental death.  People can make extremely expensive mistakes socially, emotionally, and financially.

I am sure anyone reading this can remember a time that emotional reaction made a situation far worse than it had to be.  What if I said you don’t need those reactions to get the problem solved, and everyone walking away feeling fine?

Don’t Let Your Emotions Get in Your Way!

What if You Make a Permanent Decision on Incomplete information?

Stop.  Learn to breathe.  Communicate with folks.  Find stuff out.  Don’t assume as it truly does make an ASS out of U and Me.

My other message is other people’s reactions are not your problem.  I don’t care how folks typically respond to urgent situations, it’s not okay to allow yourself to be an emotional punching bag, or insignificant, not important, disposable.  People will always try to find a scapegoat for their mishaps, it’s your job to not allow it.

I’d love the same for you.  Save yourself from making things much worse, creating real emotional pain.  Avoid making ANY decisions in times of stress and anxiety.  And please, don’t tolerate someone else dumping on you during their meltdown.  Peace and love for all…

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What if Your Wounds Lead You To Your Purpose?

What if there really is a good reason for our emotionally painful life experiences? What if it was to prepare us for our journey to come?

At the cell level of my being I understand pain, fear (terror), resentment, loneliness and even envy of what others had and I did not. I use to think I was one of the most unfortunate souls to walk the earth, the mother of a child who died. While I once said giving birth to a baby was painful; I soon learned I would experience even harsher torture when I had to give Trevor back 25 years later.

When I did begin to investigate to find out why I couldn’t seem to find any emotional peace in my life I realized that the image of myself was all wrong for me. I didn’t belong there. I was better than that. I didn’t fit in the not so merry place of victimland where “Oh Woes Me” could be heard for miles. After a while I never really felt comfortable in that role and I somehow sensed there had to be more for me.  I recalled when I was a 16 year old mess my stepmother looked in my eyes, deeply, and said, “Cheryl, you are special.  Don’t ever forget that.”   I hung onto those words because I needed them for a lifeline from time to time, and they are the words I clung to when I decided to throw caution to the wind and find my own truth.

It was hard because I have a whole shitload of trauma and drama most people would never be able to lift out of. If you knew my complete story (and some of you reading do); you would all understand if I just packed up my bags and lived in self pain for the rest of my miserable life. YOU would be compassionate and understand, but I somehow felt there was better for me.

I had to get tough with myself. No more lying inside to attempt to make myself OR SOMEONE ELSE feel better. That didn’t work. No more lying and secrets, shame and stuffing. Time to get real. When I finally did GET IT I was pleasantly surprised to find my own Truth is actually very special. Who I am. What I am. And where I am going all became very clear to me. I know now I’ll never look back.

My new attitude doesn’t mean I don’t still hurt myself from time to time with my own human impulses.  And I can get just as reactive as the next guy (sometimes that show really looks ridiculous), but today I look at it like I make mistakes, but I am no longer ‘a’ mistake.  And I ignore set backs.

Sometimes the worst of the worst has to happen to us before we are ready to use available tools (and there are options for everyone when we look) to recover from trauma.

I learned I had to stop being a baby and to realize I am not the only suffering soul. There are people out there far worse off than me and when I open my eyes and see how much I really do have I immediately have emotional peace.

I should be more compassionate at times when I see the whining and crying over everyday minute solvable things; I realize it irritates me only because I was there too and perhaps I’m mad at myself for not understanding sooner.  Petty gossip to reduce your friend just about drives me around the bend. We don’t take responsibility anymore. Everything is everyone else’s fault or we are a victim of circumstances. What if you are suffering because you like to? Perhaps this is what your psyche is use to and so you keep doing it?

I suggest we are better than that, under the clutter. You (yes you!) are an amazing person with a potential for an amazing mission. Lift up out of the bowels of emotional despair and find your hero within.  When this is achieved I suspect you too will find your wounds actually do lead you to your exciting life purpose.  The walls will all come down and you’ll not only think outside of your old box, you’ll see there is no box at all!

That’s my message, that’s all. I don’t want to pick on anyone feeling down and out.  It would hurt me if I knew my message hurt someone who is feeling powerless right now. My intention for writing today holds two thoughts: 1. I like to share to inspire people up, and 2. I like to vent (sound out my passion) this way. I find it therapeutic. 🙂  If this did not suit your story that is fine too. ❤

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a seasoned Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of Wesk Kelowna, BC Canada. She specializes in mental illness resolution including depression, anxiety, mood disorders, grief, loss, sexual abuse, childhood trauma.  Cherylann is trained using the latest therapeutic hypnotic techniques including suggestion, regression, PLRegression, Parts and Cords therapies for habits, loss and abandonment.

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I Put My Eyes Inside of Myself and Guess What I Found?

If you are open, or ready, you will hear me today 🙂  This is big.  And kinda deep.  Be forewarned you may find your own life’s question here today!

The Truth to everything I needed to know about myself was inside of me all along.  I just didn’t dare look.  Based on the harshness of my upbringing, and cruel tapes I continued to play regarding my horrible self (in my mind) how could I comfortably look inside of me without risking finding I am the devil incarnate or something worse?

After I closed my eyes, plugged my nose, and jumped in to myself, instead of finding Ted Bundy’s sister, I found a vision of beauty.  I found my core intentions are usually about a pure as they could get!  I see flaws, I see many mistakes, and when I put it into proportion to my story, I feel instant forgiveness!   Today when I look at myself I see more awesomeness than the bad stuff!  What I thought would be the most painful thing to do, ended up being the easiest ride I’ve had my entire life!  Easy, and addicting and healthy!

Sometimes investigating our feelings and behaviors is the hardest thing to do.  Our disturbance makes us feel moody, off balance, uncertain.  Soon enough the negative (dark) emotions overtake the good light and energy from our always decaying bodies.  They weigh heavy on our heart, spirit, soul, that we can hardly function sometimes.  Feelings can become a physical sickness if the root of the disturbance is never brought to light. It can be terminal by accident, homicide or suicide, or death by utter heartbreak.

Anger.  Fear.  Worry.  Guilt.  Shame.  Jealousy.  Envy.  Self loathing. Insecurity.  These are our enemies.  This is stress and anxiety right there.  These are our demons that have to be conquered to feel well emotionally.  And what do we do?  We keep feeding them.  We allow them to reside inside of ourselves for long periods of time.  The energy suckers just keep getting bigger and bigger creating havoc and conflict and covering up our actual strong, beautiful, amazing selves.

Some people think our emotions are impossible to be rid of because they are a part of our being, our core.  And some say I am asking too much.   The nay-sayers swear emotions are created by something not in their control.  Serotonin or a person did it too us.  Not so grasshopper, not so.  If you can imagine the worst, the way you are, you can imagine the best!  You have always had full control but no one ever told you that.  They said you were sick, or a hopeless sinner.  They judged you with their vivid imagination.  And you allowed your imagination to see the same bullshit someone else told you was wrong.  Your thinking, feelings, emotions…all learned imaginary beliefs, or made up by yourself.

Our God-given purity is so encased in negative and disruptive emotions we hardly know our true selves anymore.  We begin to act out.  Alcohol, pot, and anti-depressant abuse takes over until our brains are so nicely flat-lined, we just don’t care anymore.  We become apathetic to our living situations. Our hell.  We get use to it.  It becomes as real as anything solid to us.  My message is that we are held back only by our limited belief systems.  Me…you…all of us are in this together.  Most of us have indulged in the feel-good quick fix, am I lying?

If we learned how to deal with our troubling emotions, and allowed ourselves to be completely honest, we would all be walking around free with a heart full of passion and a head full of gratitude instead of all of this stress and anxiety.

I want you to do something (please).  Take your most troublesome emotion.   Name one.  Look closely at what it is, and what it means.  Do you own it or is it a lie you have accepted into yourself?  For example, if you are walking around with a heavy heart of guilt, or shame, put it up to the light of day and take a good hard look at it.  Do you own that?  Do you deserve a lifetime of self-abuse because you are to be ashamed of yourself, or guilty for some infraction during your life?  Did you do it deliberately?  Is it something you can change?  Was your intention to harm some one or some thing?  If not, what, exactly, are you holding onto the shame or guilt for???

Are you filled with fear and anxiety?  What is going on there I wonder?!  Look inside, you know it, you remember everything.  Once you find the Truth in the emotion your symptoms will diminish instantly because you will know exactly what to do to ‘solve’ the problem, or you may there is nothing to do about it at all.  Inside of your true core self you will find you are innocent, safe, and in control of everything, and the renewed power feels GREAT!

When you finally allow the truth to surface in the face of your feelings, you will be AMAZED at how beautiful, and wonderful, the Truth really is!  You were never suppose to give up!  The subject is even crazy to consider, isn’t it?  If you are so foreign to the rest of us humans and you care to punish yourself forever that is another matter.  Then you have to go inside and find out why you beat yourself so harshly for your human frailties.  Sure, figure out what it is you need to change about yourself.  Admit it.  Own it.  And now stop it.  Done.  It really is that simple, and you really do have that much control over yourself.  Have you given yourself life for this infraction?  Is that appropriate?   We are but a sum of learned thinking and feeling.  We are better than whatever that looks and feels like.

Through the ages we have been brainwashed by either pharmaceutical commercials or religious organizations to believe we have no control over our emotional or physical well being.  That God or drugs will save us, nothing else.   I am saying we are trained, generation before generation since the beginning of time that we are NOT to depend on our own good common sense!  We are sinners!  We are Sick!  Only GOD or Effexor will bring you back to life, depending on your belief system.   The trouble is, these are lies for most of the population in emotional trouble!   Our very own girl (or boy) inside is pure, healthy, fit, powerful, confident, and in control of everything.   Not only that, we are really filled with love, compassion and JOY!  In every generation before us higher powers have tried (and really succeeded didn’t they?) to take our gift of free will (control over selves) away in the name of power, control, money.  W to believe in something other than ourselves and that is the worst mistake a spirit can make…believing it!

The more lies, secrets, shame we stuff, the more we lose of that better part of ourselves.   The more we lose our light.

Let’s look at another emotion you may be harboring, driving yourself crazy with.  Anger.  I was once told by a mentor of mine, years ago, that any anger I hang onto, is anger at myself and myself alone.  I said that makes no sense.  Someone did me wrong, robbed me, and I can be angry, right?  She said, “Right.”  For a minute.  Then you deal with it, talk about it, get it out in the open – or end something you have no control over.  Anything after that is you, and you need to see what you are so mad at yourself for.  Chances are it will be something like you picked him, or stayed too long, or didn’t speak up, or could have moved and didn’t…you get my meaning.  All emotions belong solely to the beholder.  Think about the last time you were angry for a long period of time at someone, or some situation.  It stuck to you like a stickly black toxic poison and you allowed it to stay a while.  I’ll tell you why.  You did something wrong and were mad at yourself.  Done.  Owning your stuff is the key to ending the free rent for enemy feelings.  The next thing to do is forgive yourself and decide to do it even better next time.  Learn, let go, live.  We are born to make mistakes, we are not A mistake!

But you see here is the problem:  Many of us were raised in situations that created negative tapes in our heads.  We learned to play these tapes, over and over and over in our own little vulnerable minds, beating the living life out of ourselves, because of these messages we learned to think, “I am stupid.”  “I am ugly.”  “I am too ____.”  or my favorite of all, “I am _____,”.  Name your judgment because that is all it is…a learned judgment.  They are not facts.  They have no power because they are not real.  They are the figment of the imagination, typically brought on by an experience, an outside judgment, or a series of experiences that made our minds add one and one and come up with something not true.  And then we feed that to oblivion sometimes.

Today is a good day to take a peek at what is really going on inside.  Pull out any emotion you choose, and decide you are done feeling it.  Look at it carefully, examine all sides.  If it is yours, do something about it.  If it is not yours, or if it is not a proven fact, shift your imagination to something else.  Something better for yourself.  It all starts with a new thought, the seed of everything.

Wishing everyone reading this love, peace and light.

Cherylann Thomas

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Cherylann Thomas is a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association operating a successful hypnotherapy practice in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Skype Service is available.

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Are You Driving Yourself Insane?

Warning: This article is graphic and may have triggers for some.

The most seriously mentally ill win the award for the best vivid imaginations.  They can conjure up all sorts of thoughts and ideas in their heads that are absolute nonsense, B.S. not proven, not even validated a little bit.  And yet we all, at one time or another, allow self-defeating thoughts to enter our consciousness, roll around and around as if it is the Truth, making it the Truth with added imaginary thoughts to confirm our righteousness in our lying positions.  There are degrees of mental illness, depending on the severity of the lies we try to hold onto.

This is personal for me.  When my only child, Trevor, died at the young age of 25, my imagination almost drove me to the brink of madness, if it didn’t once or twice (or too many times to count) in the years that followed his accident.  Where was he?  Did he go to hell?  He wasn’t a Christian and I know he was quite anti-religion period.  So, what does this mean for his future in death?  You can imagine my horror.  A mother is a mother unto eternity and she will always have the intuitive need to protect her young, even in death.

How can I go on knowing, based on all of my biblical and religious training, that Trevor was burning in hell!?  His car accident involved fire; lots of fire, 80% of his body was burned — what did I allow that little smidget of information about the accident do to my imagination?  You can only guess.  Finally, I went so far down the imaginary road of hell I actually believed for a while that I killed my son through my woeful anti-motherly neglect.

I allowed myself to remember every single parental infraction – that time I went off the deep end on him – and that look on his face, like he was slapped or something, was to haunt me forever now.  I worked too hard, went to school at night.  Belonged to every political and community organization that would have me.  I wasn’t there for Trevor.  He grew up to be killed over my early neglect.  More fantastical thoughts came and I let them buggers have a seat and get comfortable in the confines of my vulnerable mind too.  It was a party, complete with lots and lots of booze and pills to numb the fantasy when it got too much.

Soon, my imagination gave way to a complete emotional breakdown.  There was no where else to go.  Insanity, or death. That was it for me.  I was weaning off of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and even anti-psychotic drugs because I knew by then my life was a wasteland and not moving forward with them.  I didn’t want to feel drugged anymore.

In avoiding pain, I accumulated more of it.

Suddenly, clear thinking now, everything I had stuffed for almost five years came at me like a tidal wave.  My son was dead all over again.  My marriage ended in my oblivion, We lost access to our grandson.  We gained custody of our granddaughter. I was going bankrupt. Life was an utter mess and I was left to deal with it, chemical free.  The emotional pain was too much to bear, friends. And I made the decision to end it.  I could not tolerate the mental torture going on in my mind one more minute.  My thoughts literally drove me to insanity.

I chose death.

That fateful night I swerved hard-right onto a mountain wall speeding at 110 kmph (about 75 mph I think).  There was nothing but my car embedded into the mountain and me, as I was removed by emergency crews.  I was in shock, trying to comprehend a completely totaled car, and not a mark on my body or ache to my bones.  I didn’t tell the emergency crew who showed up in complete disbelief that I was alive, that I saw an angel in my steering wheel at the moment of impact.  The angelic face was as clear as the wall that I smashed into.

Everything made sense to me in that split second, that moment of impact.  I knew my time was not up.  No one goes until it is their time, and this was not it for me.

I suddenly had a mission.

I didn’t even stay in the hospital for much of a psychiatric evaluation (3 days mandatory I think).  I wanted to get home and get to work.  I had to completely destroy those drugs and get help.  I had to be honest with someone.  I killed my son and I needed to be punished out right, or just let me go. (Don’t ask, this is the stuff that was in my head.)  I knew I was at the bottom and there was no where else to go except up.  I said these very words to myself, “If I have to live, I insist on living in peace!”

I decided to start with hypnotherapy because I knew it was a stress relieving therapy, if nothing else, and I was filled to the rim with stress.  Little did I know that I would find myself in those 14 sessions.  I learned who I was, and more importantly, what I was doing to myself. The abuse I managed to give and take (from myself) was more than most people could bear.  I was allowing my imagination to be the Truth, when it was full of lies, judgments, misconceptions, ignorance, and being naive to the power of my own ability to drive myself insane.

My imagination got me into this mess, it also got me out!

So what is the Truth that set me free?  In the safety of hypnosis my therapist had me imagine Trevor was standing in front of me.  What would he say to me, regarding his upbringing?  Is it possible he would hug me? She had me imagine the words Trevor would speak, because I knew him the best, she said.   I sat and listened, …and the words he would have said came to me.  Wonderful love and support and compassion filled my head.  I was given my freedom back.  Imagining the Truth, the real Truth, brought me home.  I allowed my imagination to imprison me, punish me, and almost execute me.  Now I was using my imagination to understand the Truth.

In fact, my love for Trevor is the Truth.  The only truth that matters at all.  And my knowledge of his love for me is the same Truth.  There is no way my son would reject me, so I allowed myself to stop imagining he would.  My own worst case situation was a lying fantasy all along.

And hell finally left me alone.  Feelings of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, all receded, and were replaced with forgiveness, compassion and love.  Now, to me, only love is real.  Everything else is my enemy.  I seek out the Truth in all of my emotions, and every time, every single time, I win again.

We use our imaginations to scare ourselves to insanity, or death.  Now search for your Truth just by using your imagination to find it.  Believe in yourself.  Your good self.  Your real self.  Stop feeding the lies, and encourage the Truth in your own mind; it is what will not only allow you to survive, but thrive.

“That which can be destroyed by Truth, should be.” P.C. Hodge.

Do you like this article?  Please share with your friends and help spread the word of hope for the ones who thought there was none.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim CH,t is now a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in helping her clients resolve anxiety, depression, grief, loss and abandonment, weight loss, fears and phobias.  Cherylann has an extremely important ingredient to her successful therapy practice: Personal experience.  Non judgmental and compassionate, you can count on her to help you find the root of your internal conflict; your Truth.

Now available on Skype.  Please visit her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca and come like her Facebook page! http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

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What Does Stress Do to Your Body?

Stress gets the award for the highest ranking disorder in causing death.  Heart disease, cancers of all varieties, skin diseases, liver and kidney disease; even suicide and murder are inspired by..you got it, stress.

Close your eyes, and imagine your own body for a moment.  And feel all of that emotional pain of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment again.  Just for a minute.  Where do you feel this in your body?  Is it in your chest?  Your heart and lungs could be at risk for dis-ease.  Does something stir up in your tummy area?  Your intestines, bowel, stomach, liver and kidneys are being ravaged by the stress you carry.  Maybe you feel the ANX in your abdomen and you often experience health issues in that area. Or, if you remember your emotional pain as being felt in the head (usually the enemy beasts of anger and resentment) you may have ache, or even some difficulty with the physical brain.

Take a moment to focus really hard on what your emotional upset is doing to that part of your body.  Think of it as black.  Prickly.  Heavy.  Poisonous.  and just watch it (in your mind’s eye) swirl around and attack your insides.

If that doesn’t inspire you to do something about the weights you carry around with you then nothing will.  Stress comes from overwhelming feelings of worry, fear, guilt, shame, anger, resentment.  All of these emotions are useless to our psyche, but we tend to fall back to them every time a little incident happens in our lives.  Sometimes we let those energy suckers hang around so long within us, we begin to feel the disease of the stress on a physical level.  Tense muscles come from stress, so walking around like a pinched up peg isn’t going to be good for the bones, joints, and muscles either.  Sometimes new unsubstantiated diagnoses come then, followed by, you guessed it, more drugs.

Contrary to what the commercials tell us, we do have control over our own emotions.  Sometimes we don’t think we do, but we really do have all of the control we need to manage ourselves.  When we think we have no control we are at risk of believing the filthy rich pharmaceutical companies who would like you to believe that Serotonin, a chemical imbalance issue, is the culprit to your feelings and drugs are needed. Trillions of dollars and millions of lost lives later, we see that we still don’t have a blood test to verify what we have been fed on that matter.  No matter who I talk to, the ones prescribed and taking psychiatric drugs, all firmly believe that they are mentally sick forever, and the drugs will be needed forever. Frequent dosage increases are needed as the drug adjusts itself to the brain.

What if the DRUG WITHDRAWAL is making you feel unstable?

People just don’t see that they feel ‘mental’ when they try to stop taking the drugs, because the drug got itself addicted to your brain almost immediately (just like heroin) and trying to stop makes the brain feel very unstable.  So, people believe they really do have a physical issue and no control over making their lives better and carry on with their drug solution.

If only we could end stress the drug free way.  If we would teach young and old people coping skills to feel more peace of mind, we would be doing humanity a huge service.  What is going on now is not only creating early deaths, it is making us mindless mental pygmies; slaves to the anti-depressant and other psychiatric medication to overcome feelings.

Dare to look at what your stress is doing to your body.  Look close and ask yourself if you really need to live like that, or if maybe you do have more inside power than you ever gave yourself credit for.  I challenge you that you do have a superhero inside of YOU just waiting to be unleashed from all of the heaviness you allow to stay around.  Stop it.  Get up off the couch and go get yourself some coping skills.  There are free support groups everywhere.  Other than actual brain damage, there is no excuse for anyone to live in pain, alone…and drugged!

It is our secrets, our shames, our stuffing of things that need to be out in the open that will lead to stress and early death. Go find out why you do that, and your new lovely life will begin!

God bless you everyone.  I wish you all love, peace of mind and extreme happiness!

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of the Family Wellness Centre in Westbank.  Specializing in:  anxiety, depression, phobias, and weight loss.  Using a variety of techniques including regression therapy, parts therapy and suggestion therapy to empower clients find their own inner power.  Skype service now available.  778-755-4001.  http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

medicine

Who is Your REAL Enemy?

When referring to enemies we often think they are the people who work against us, in social or employment situations perhaps. Enemies can be dangerous beings, creating problems for us in our communities, or work; and even family situations.  We don’t need or want enemies in our circles because to allow enemy-folk to linger around we can soon begin to experience self-doubt, confusion,  loss of energy, until finally there is loss of reputation in some cases.

But who is your real enemy?  

Dare to think of your enemies differently.  I suggest all of your enemies live within yourself.  Yep.  I said that. People seem to be completely unaware of how much stress weighs on our minds and bodies.  Stress comes from the enemy, and I’ll get to just what that is in a minute.  When we allow the enemy to reside inside of ourselves for any length of time without doing anything about it, even allowing it to grow…like a bad weed, we experience the exact same torturous sensations as if someone else had done damage to us.

The enemy are: Worry, Fear, Anger, Resentment, Shame, Guilt, Jealousy, Envy, Self-loathing, Rage.

Never under-estimate these enemies possibly residing in you!  The dark black energies can be absolutely powerful, torturing your mind with racing thoughts, self-delusions, constant tension.  Sometimes the extremes of these emotions lead people into serious depression and anxiety, requiring medication to try to dull some of the pain; sometimes worse, they choose suicide.  Sometimes the EMOTIONAL enemies can turn into an actual physical pain throughout the body, due to all of that stress being carried around.  Some lash out at others, all the way to murder.

People’s emotions create a lot of drama and trauma in this world so I beg to say they are important to deal with.

Whether you tend to beat on yourself, or lash out at others, the result is exactly the same.  Weakness, low self-esteem, extremely sensitive, unfocused thoughts, foggy brain and I could go on with the symptoms of ‘not dealing with feelings.’ If we don’t understand and deal with our own alarming feelings then we tend to push them away…down…down onto our precious subconscious mind who wants us healthy, happy, and free!

Sometimes the feelings get pushed down so much drugs (legal and street) or alcohol is needed to relieve the emotional pain. And yet the pain persists, eventually.

All the while our unconscious power-mind keeps attempting to get through to your conscious, critical mind.  The conscious mind is not who you are.  It is what you have learned.  This is what any other situation would call brain-washing.  We are conceived with the unconscious mind…providing us instinct and all we need at that birthing time…and would follow us to our death and crossing over.  This part of our new us feel our mothers first in the womb.

Then our conscious mind was born…learning how to be…Was your mom anxious?  Depressed?  Did she fly off in a rage every now and then?  What enemy was your mother struggling with?  Chances are you have invited the same bugger to live inside of you!  Perhaps you invited the stranger in after a serious life trauma, a loss, a death.  Were you raised to think you were a little more entitled than anyone else?  You may suffer with the enemy of jealousy, envy, and rage.  Maybe your family was poor, and stressed, and had no coping skills themselves, so allowed the enemies of all kinds to rage on in the circle.

What would happen if you agreed the enemy prevents you from THRIVING?  Would you be more willing to unload it?  Fix it?  Accept it?

The really interesting thing about these enemies is that we do not need them to survive!  Worried about your mortgage?  How about your children doing poorly in school?  Is your job at risk?  Think about this for a moment…you do not need the worry in these (or any) situation!  The worry is going to change nothing.   You can listen and respect the worry for what it is, but you don’t need to pack your bags and live in the worry to exist!  Let the worry go and get to work at what has to be tended to instead!

Sometimes the best looking families, the ones with all of the houses and cars and boats and vacations and 2.5 children and a little designer dog hold the darkest secrets of them all.  They learn how to put that shiny smile on for all of the world to see and envy, only to find inside is a hideous secret no one dares talk about.  You can bet mom is pill popping to deal and dad is indulging in a little too much whiskey in such a mess.  The children are acting out by indulging in risky behaviors…you know the families.  Sometimes the most beautiful looking family has the ugliest secrets.

I’ve said before and I’ll probably say it a lot, we have at least two notable minds, our conscious mind, and our unconscious mind.  Our unconscious mind is the holder of our first seed, the holder of all of our truths, whether we want to face them or not, and the part of ourselves that will allow you to soar…if you pay attention.  The unconscious mind keeps us safe while we are driving in a daydream (trance).  She or he will knock loudly on your conscious door if there is danger ahead…but we have to pay attention to it or risk regretting doing something.

Our unconscious mind does not like being stuffed upon, or drugged.  She loves to be listened to, and strengthens us every time we practice doing this and acting on what it is we must do, in spite of how hard it is. It’s our conscious mind, the one we think with right now that gets us in trouble every time. The one that is first critical and judgmental, ask questions later.  This is the mind that has been trained since our birth on how to think and feel…by our guardians.  Unless you have had a very strong, independent unconscious mind keeping your conscious mind in good moral and healthy check, we are at risk for mental illness when we let the enemy control our conscious mind.

Sometimes the energies of fear or anger or shame get so overwhelming, we don’t know where to begin to actually deal with something.

Listen to your enemies No enemy can do as much damage to your mental well-being more than your own emotions out of check. 

To find your advanced, beautiful, strong, and powerful self, I suggest you start by paying attention to your feelings.  As soon as an emotion comes over you, ask yourself what this is…what is it about?  Get real with it.  If your normal response is to push down unpleasant things, you are at extreme risk of mental illness problems down the road.  Of course some things can be let go, and we never feel it or let it disturb us again.  I’m not talking about those feelings, I’m talking about the chronic ones.  The one’s that keep you down and away from peace of mind and happiness.

I’ve said before, we need to feel it, to heal it.  Once you find that warrior courage to look inside and find what it is holding you back, and honestly take care of the matter once and for all, the breathtaking emotion of freedom will literally knock you off your feet.  I promise.

 

energy

Alarming Facts about Psychiatric Medication

Alarming Facts about Psychiatric Medication

too many pills

48 year old Suanne was going through a divorce and felt depressed.  Her doctor put her on an anti-depressant, Effexor.  It wasn’t quite working for her.  Doctor increased the dosage.  Still, she was defeated.  Suanne reported continued feelings of sadness and loneliness.  Quickly declining in mental health, her doctor referred her to a psychiatrist who added “Abilify” to her anti-depressant and sleeping medication.

So far no one has mentioned therapy of any kind to resolve her sadness and issues surrounding the divorce.  By now she was literally unable to get out of bed.  She began feeling like the energy has been sucked right out of her body, and was now experiencing a new, chronic, non-descript pain in her joints.  She’s starting to feel suicidal.  She lost her job and family members are fed up with watching her ‘lay around all day.’

She is more alone than she has ever been in her life by this point.

One year into the medication regimen Suanne decided to take her own life and swallowed all of her prescription medication.  Luckily her sister found her in time and she is rushed to the hospital.  Suanne now has bi-polar disorder, according to the psychiatrist in the psych ward.  She is put on Lithium, Xanax, and a stronger sleeping medication…in addition to her other anti-depressant and the Abilify.

Three months later she was seen at Walmart by a close friend.  Suanne’s eyes are glazed over, she appeared to be emotionless as she described some events going on in her life, like her father passing away, her home going into foreclosure, and her daughter not speaking to her anymore.  Her friend offered her a night out on the town and Suanne declined, saying she was too tired.  She has now lost her previous interest in dressing up and going out dancing.

Suanne is told she will be mentally ill for the rest of her life, and her medication is paramount.  She was even threatened with being involuntary committed to the hospital psychiatric ward if she goes off of her drug regimen.

I wonder:  if Suanne had been able to get to the root of her emotional pain after the divorce would she have started the first round of pharmaceuticals?  Clearly, the drugs have not helped.  In fact, things seemed to have gotten far more serious!

The very sad reality is that this woman is now a permanent consumer of the pharmaceutical companies.  She will likely never work (as long as she is on all of those drugs)…she has applied for permanent disability…now earning a fraction of her old income.  This woman is literally a shadow of her previous self.

Chances for a new love relationship are over because her self-esteem is so low by now Suanne believes no one could love her. The drugs have removed all of her sexual desire anyway.

Here are some fast facts:  Anti-depressants can push people into a manic episode…even though they may have never had mania before in their life!  Anti-depressant medication, benzo’s, sleeping pills, and the very powerful lithium are all designed to reside in the brain.  The chemicals stunt the emotional part of the brain…numbing it.  You can’t feel it coming on…it just becomes a part of who you are.  Common (read again, COMMON) side affects of these brain drugs include but are not limited to: increased frustration and anger, violent outbursts, dry mouth leading to gum disease and loss of teeth, weight gain or loss, central nervous system disorders, immune diseases and disorders, suicide ideation, chronic fatigue, and smaller, but no less insidious symptoms including a complete loss of sexual drive.

Every time Suanne tried to come off of these medications her symptoms increased 100 fold…making her fearful of withdrawing  the drugs she has been prescribed.  She is now 100% convinced that she is mentally ill, permanently, and without her meds she will die.  She ‘proved’ it to herself when she tired to come off before unsuccessfully.  Suanne didn’t know that it takes at least six months to a year for the brain to balance out after weaning off psychiatric medication of all kinds.  During that time symptoms are multiplied and may leave a person to think they really must need those drugs to survive.  Too many folks give their will and lives over to the care of a business for profit organization.  I’m talking about the filthy rich pharmaceutical companies with an endless amount of $$$$ for marketing…to encourage more customers.

Keep in mind, from my previous articles, the Chemical Imbalance theory is a lie.  Serotonin levels cannot and have never been measured in a lab.  It is all theory…theory without substance.  And we are so willing to believe in a system like that?  We are allowing ourselves to believe all of our emotional problems are chemically induced!  How crazy is that?

Suanne has given up her power to the mental health system, firmly embedded in the belief she will die without those drugs now.  And remember, this all started with an actual event…a divorce.  No sign of a chemical imbalance in that story!  So why the drugs?

And another lifelong pharmaceutical customer is born.  72% of women over the age of 45 are currently on psychiatric medication!

Are you not alarmed!?!