Freeing Hearts From Ego Control…

The intent of this article is to offer a mental gift to some people who may have felt like they have been run over by obvious or unseen negative forces, making life miserable.

Before I show you a whole new outlook on life, I ask you to question yourself: where do you believe you live in your mental mind, the heart or the ego?  Do you know or understand the differences?  Perhaps what I am about to suggest doesn’t make sense because you’ve never experienced heart/ego conflict, or you cannot relate because your own balanced brain has been developed to feel fine in the world with everyone.  You would be a very blessed person indeed!

I know I lived in the extreme end of heart for my first 50 years.  Abused, neglected, and barely tolerated I took on the same imagination everyone else had of me, instead of believing in myself.  After playing along with self-neglect I finally found a way to re-learn who and what I was really all about – and why I was so miserably unhappy.  Once I figured out I had given my free life away to someone else’s policies I trained my mind to protect itself, and to cope by practicing a form of ego counterattack.

As a result I am balanced in a way others might want to strive to: sensitive and bullet proof.  Keeping all of my innate gifts I trained my naive heart to protect from manipulation and control.  I may still be fooled for a minute but eventually I’ll regain my own senses when in the orbit of a heart breaker.  Coming to mental awareness with emotional intelligence is empowering awesomeness you’ll want to work toward.

Brainwashing

As my work in hypnotherapy evolves I am noticing the emotional minds of sensitive souls are easily stolen for control.  That’s not how I want to roll in my career, I am God to One (me) and as a preferred choice I use the power of hypnosis to get straight to the heart of people rather than mess around with ego brushing.  I believe so much in the resources and talents of everyone’s unconscious mind why would I want anyone dependent on me for their happy life?   People are surprised I don’t actually practice hypnotherapy to brainwash folks, but to deprogram them from unhealthy brainwashing planted before me.  Everything in the ego is learned and can be unlearned.  The heart is the heart and will always be the truth, and it feels better living there than the cold place of ego.

I take liberties with some of the mental health labels many unfortunate souls are living with in this system of chemical imbalance guesses.  As far as I’m concerned pigeonholing is designed to define what is wrong with people who behave outside of norms.  It’s never a good pigeonhole.   I shake my head in dismay witnessing good people judge themselves to be weak, powerless, and sickly based on someone else’s opinion.  The whole mental illness hysteria is growing outrageously out of proportion to me, and if you keep reading you’ll see below I reframe things for a few people who are ready to take their lives back to the calm place of peace in the heart.

How does a person come to a place where they believe they do not have free will to live a life any way they see fit?  Why do so many people agree to live in torturous / uncomfortable situations with minimal rewards?

Abused people often sum up their lack of life-luster thinking a hormone or chemical imbalance is the culprit and try to take care of the problem outside of themselves.  I suggest it is not a chemical imbalance, instead an unconscious awakening of the human senses.  Human senses for survival are the connection to our unconscious so it makes sense for those who suffer habitiual obsessions, eating disorders, migraines, skin problems, and so on are probably reacting very badly to a system that may be harming their spirit.

Mentally ‘sick’ people appear to live in the heart like raw bleeding ducks.  They are kind, empathetic, unassuming (non judgemental).  They mistakenly believe everyone has the same heart.  The opposite to these types (ego dwellers) appear to be mentally strong but almost entirely live in learned conscious mind of entitlement.  These beings flip the world upside down and make it appear that black is white and white is black.  I know I’m not alone in my frustration at the upside down nature of points of view sometimes that appear to be the opposite to any truth I know.  Very strange to witness if you are aware.  The good look bad and the bad look good.  The lying life could drive somebody to insanity or suicide if they don’t come up with a way to reign in their emotions in the face of such social misunderstanding of their own truth, vs. the fantasy of someone else’s imagination.

Mental sickness guesses have changed over the ages to suit traditional and popular thinking of the times.  We have to understand that someone’s theory doesn’t necessarily make the ‘ideas’ true for the individual.  There is no proven scientific evidence of any mental disorder at all, none that can be proven by lab or x-ray, but the best marketers of medicine will spin imaginary horror stories about the mind with shocking fear and shame, having folks believing in things that work against their otherwise good free will.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM – the psychiatric and pharmaceutical flow of ideas updated and replaced annually describing mental diseases they didn’t think of before.   There is no chemical or brain lack proven with any of the ‘mental diseases.’  It’s all guess-work that makes sense to someone else.  What we have now is a trillion-dollar industry in health care – where maybe no health problem existed in the first place?   The left brain academics are proud of the dots they connect to define people and even agree the DSM is used for mind research – not as a cure for mental illness.  This is the description the Psychiatrists Organization start their book off with…

Their (guess makers*) dedication and hard work have yielded an authoritative volume that defines and classifies mental disorders in order to improve diagnoses, treatment, and research.”

 https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm/dsm-5

*Italics mine)

If we are going to take an authoritative stance and guess about what is wrong with people then let me participate in the fun:

Anxiety: Heightened sense of awareness living in a non aware world.  Senses the heart in others and assumes ego can feel hers. May be conditioned to doubt self and is left with feelings of panic in the confusion.  Needs nourishment of the right brain and validation of feelings: these sensitive souls feel invisible while suffering people’s bad moods as if it were theirs.   Angels in Disguise.

Depression:  Unconsciousness due to a blow to the head, namely on the right side hemisphere. After ages of oppression with little utilizing the creative side of the brain it has shut down into mental darkness for self-protection.

PTSD: Witness or victim of evil violence.  Shocked with a reality that is impossible to digest.  Denied the freedom to speak their truth by outside influences. Tongue cut out.

Bi-Polar:  Energized right brain oriented individual; often creative genius…has insight waking up and feels the joy of their own spirit.  All she wants to do is have fun.  Left brain world can hardly tolerate such excitement for life and labels her sick or bad behaving.  She will unconsciously rebel to the false judgement and often goes into a deep sadness or rage for the misunderstanding.  Very sensitive and intuitive.  Bless her heart she might die by her own hand feeling rejected from a world that does not see her beautiful gifts.

ADHD:  Right brain male child.  They are no different in needs than his female classmates for learning, but have not been as brainwashed to obey commands so much and appear to simply have behavior problems.  Can be labeled learning disabled or gifted, but the gifted part comes from the imagination.  He connects dots like the speed of lightning in the brain and comes up with the right answer often even without studying.  Poor kid can hardly tolerate external energy so finds ways to put self into trance: music, reading, video games, drugs, the allowed creativity in their right brain will help them find a way to survive.  Some become great inventors.

ADD:  Right Brain Male obediently allowing Left Brain Rules against their better spirit.  Won’t be inventing anything until allowed to use creative side of mind.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Person who has likely rarely been validated for her insights, sensitivity, intuition.  Has a lot of self-doubt and is insecure.  Can appear needy – strives for independence to distance herself from the abusive reactions to her being.  Easy Scapegoat. Appears different in thought and intuition, uses the imagination in creative ways.  Intuition is often so correct she scares people, and they don’t know why.  Can explode in a fury of unconscious frustration to the madness she senses externally and yet finds difficult to articulate.  Probably brilliant in a right brain activity.

On the other side of the spectrum is where Ego lives:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder:  Lives almost 100% in the ego mind.  Selfish and greedy minded, unless they are grooming someone for supply.  Jealous of sensitive ones.  Possibly abused with indulgent / neglectful upbringing.  Has found a way to cope by shutting down emotions and focusing only on self.  Extraordinarily manipulative:  Seeks a place of comfort in families, communities, business, and government.  Often the CEO who loves to be centre of attention because he knows he has something to offer the world.  Has lots of followers.

Left brain society value and reward this type way more than right brain emotional because they add some creativity to the logical gang without the emotional baggage of feelings.  Most are well-respected with much credibility even with evidence of low moral character.

NPD don’t like emotions other than anger, false pride, and envy although they may sense an unconscious hint of sadness.  Help is unlikely – there is nothing wrong with them – it’s everyone else’s fault.

If the narcissist cannot control you they seek to control others against you.  Will twist and turn any story into outrageous lies about their target.  Lacks empathy, cannot imagine the plight of others, and may even imagine perverse satisfaction in harming people closest to him.  Passive aggressive to the extreme.  Never means what they say.  Will take until the giver stops giving and not a moment before.  Will tolerate a lot to get what he needs.  Sucks his supply dry until there is nothing left to take.

God-Complex.  I believe this character projects that in the way to manipulate others into obedience (intimidates, scares and shames people with emotional stories).  Reacts negatively to criticism.  Better than everyone.  Will not obey if can get away with it.  Realizes their worth to the earth and ego matters.  Really  believes they are the superior ones.  They are about as spiritually asleep as you can get. Feels invincible in the human body.  We have to stop raising ego’s because these man-made creatures destroy the soul of the sensitive ones, and themselves in the process.

Most of us are very suggestible to emotional manipulation, triggered with fear or shame the vulnerable will believe anything sometimes because they think everyone else has the same good heart as they and wouldn’t lie to them.  People are free to choose to take medication to cover up the unhappiness for giving up their free will, or find another way to live with ego’s.  Ego can never understand the heart, and don’t want to.  The sad thing is some pure hearts are so enslaved they can become inadvertent protectors of the ego person if brainwashed well enough into submission.  They begin to find comfort thinking against others. They are the blind judgy one’s who keep the rules obeyed on behalf of narcissists.

Heart Oriented People – Please Return to Peace of Mental Mind and Spirit –

  • Decide to take back your free will of thinking, feeling and behaving
  • Do no harm to others, but make sure your will is taken care of before a narcissist’s needs take over.
  • If the imagination of yourself is negative give it back to the past and imagine better; perhaps guess who you are and be amazed at the ideas that come.
  • Agree, admit, and live like you are responsible for your own happiness every day  
  • Only you knows you – taking anything personal coming from the outside is like picking up someone else’s mind and adapting it as your own.  Be sure you agree to any judgement against you or brush it off and away from that orbit.
  • Remember we make mistakes but there is no mistake in our belonging to the human race like everyone else.  Be comfortable here.  We animals are smart in finding ways to survive and thrive – in our own skin.  There is nothing wrong with you coming up with ideas for your own good life.
  • End abusive mental thinking.  If someone else’s voice in your head and it sounds mean, harsh, punishing against you – kick that dude out as fast as possible.  The heart does not know the difference between fantasy and reality and will react as if you are feeding it the truth, sometimes leading to implosion of the mind and body.  You were powerless to change the original voice but you can control your own.
  • If these tips feel impossible, agree you want to love and respect yourself.  Begin to pretend you are allowed.  Soon, your unconscious will remember and you’ll build a life as if you believe it.  Work for self rewards not external punishment.
  • Let the chips of your decisions fall where they may, but natural consequences are good enough for the majority of people to guide their own lives.  Don’t let anyone else punish you if you didn’t break any laws.

I think it’s time we revisited all of the hype around life symptoms that can sound sick – or amazingly enlightened.  I suggest each person investigate the engrams of mental or physical problems.  Root cause of emotional disturbance doesn’t seem to be a priority by social government, medical science, pharmaceutical profiteers, or even the individual.  I’m beginning to wonder if people even want to learn their truthful will?  It might be more comfortable giving up purpose to please another who lives in ego state of mind.  To me that feels like submission of free will.  What do you think?

Please comment, like or share – the intent is to incite similar heart-minds to develop the practice of self-love and strength.  Thank you for your support.

Let’s save some lives by approving of all of them.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Her seasoned and evolving mental health practice is proven exceptionally effective in treating mental illness and addiction.  Clients emerge from depression, anxiety, dependency – sparking the renewal of happy, comfortable, in control lives.   If you are interested in learning more about mental / spiritual mind symptoms and what they could really be meaning to you as an individual, please visit MMH website for details and hypnotherapy service price list.  The process is lovely, empowering, safe, and it works to reframe the mental pictures of the abused mind for permanent recovery and a healthier, happier life.

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Introducing a Better Way to Imagine…

As I awaken my innate senses I am concerned about the state of mind of the people.  I think they are insane.  Or slaves.

Evidence is flowing in that right brain oppression has created a dark place for much of the population who live in the depression of darkness.  Introducing a sure way to understand for yourself how well you are seeing things.  Sleeping minds can feel lethargic, heavy, unable to see the flowers, or smell the coffee.  Human senses are manipulated negatively by trauma, emotional reaction, and chemicals.  Unsuspecting good people may experience very real issues with their living senses for survival if denied the opportunity of Free Will.

The focus on left brain intelligence where memory, numbers and logic exists to come to a proven scientific conclusion, makes mental pygmies of the people.  We seem to have succumbed to the status quo, against the right brain oriented spirit.  Up to 80% of the population could be right brain hemisphere beings who find it just as difficult to live in a left brain world, as the left handed feel using the right hand or the right hand using the left.  It doesn’t feel good for a reason – it’s not the way they work.  When we finally allow the left handed to use the left hand his work is just as good as any right handed person.  Am I wrong?  Do I make sense to you?  Because this is just coming to me now and making perfect sense – all from my imagination guessing at things.

How depressed would the left-handed person be if they had to use their right hand – because someone else said so?  What kind of work do you think they would produce for you?  

Eventually, when working against the current we are going to get tired, sick and drown. 

Insomnia, sight (losing things right in front of you), hearing, tasting, smelling, hunger, sexual arousal, body temperature and blood pressure senses are affected, as well as many other senses needed for human survival like insight and common sense.  Symptoms will include mental, emotional and spiritual disconnection, low energy and sensations of mental imbalance.  Physically the body can experience IBS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Migraine Headaches, Insomnia, skin disorders, and worse.  Everything coming from unconscious mind affects the human body experience if the brain is not nurtured, exercised, developed.

Okay, all of that boring negative news we need to know aside, let’s do some brain exploring just for giggles because I know you probably don’t sense a lot of fun every day living in a ‘inside the lines’ world:  

First, give yourself a break. Go get a cookie or a treat of some kind no one else would approve of, and just sit down in a quiet dark place, the bathroom if necessary.  Decide it’s okay to go back in time when you use to play pretend, imaginary games.  At the very least, it can’t hurt.

Allow permission to unwind and relax for three hours or three minutes – the imagination can work at the speed of light, and there are no rules.

Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. Nice regular normal breathing, the same kind you do all day. You don’t want to force anything. It’s all about gentle. Then let yourself sink down into a calm place of comfort. You know how to completely relax, if not, guess or come up with an idea you remember from before. Just go limp.
Brain Check Up:  It’s almost like going in and seeing an x-ray of the right brain hemisphere with state of the art imagination:
Using the mind’s eye pretend you are in a garden. A peaceful heavenly place with a pond, a waterfall, and colour. Or some other place you can come up with better. Focus on light, brightness, and images. If you find it difficult to focus and see things, imagine you are looking into a television, or a theatre, or have mind’s eye magnifying glasses on, just picture a place that pleases you to no end, in your head.
People who can see this picture using the mind’s eye with full living colour are awakened to their journey and you can bet they are highly intuitive and probably developed healers, inventors, artists, genius of some creative kind. Sadly, in most cases right brain neglect and abuse of the imagination will darken this part of the mental mind. Medication, alcohol, drugs, food, abusive habits all create emotional numbness, which will close that garden up all the way to blackness if not intervened by the beholder.
In my work I am finding the more seriously mentally sensitive (anxious to delusional) have the most difficult time seeing with closed eyes. They don’t know they live in the dark and so how would they think to figure a way out? Living in the dark imagination creates stress and results in mild to serious mental imbalance of mood energy.  It soon shows up in the body and creates dis-ease.
If you want (nothing happens without the desire) to wake up from negative (dark) thought and circumstance yet find it difficult to come up with your own mind’s eye visions consider seeing a guide to exercise that part of the mind: Find a Hypnotherapist or Hypnotist in your area who has the authority to work with depression, anxiety, or mental illness.  Ask about regression, parts, and NLP therapy to remove old mental conditioning.  Clients who reject the scientific explanation of depression will discover negative emotional reactions of fear, guilt, shame and anger get in the way of experiencing love, compassion, and joy.  Maybe this isn’t a sickness, but a spiritual emergency.  Time to wake up?   Good feeling sensations comes to all of us naturally but we tend to block our own senses when adapting to mental images someone else may have of our being.
I use to think I couldn’t work with anyone on anti-depressant medication because these brains might find it too difficult to bring our the imagination, but notice a good percentage are not doing a thing to the brain at all anyway, so it is doing no harm to the imagination. In other cases the drugged mind feels like it is living in purgatory, and the client eventually may not want to leave that state of comfort because it is better than the baggage of imagination, or they don’t know how to get out.  It scares some to even think they can be or feel any different.
People who can see picture perfect using the mind’s eye will full living colour are awakened to their journey and may just need some confidence, coping skills and mental self-protection.  They know when they are ready to live what they are supposed to be experiencing for happiness and joy, and not a moment before. Sometimes these sensitive souls have to go very dark before willing to come back up.
I believe now that the right brain (imagination, creativity, fantasy, emotions, ideas, and infinite wisdom with no logical sense) has been so grossly neglected for ages of time, that we hardly know the other half of the brain is there.  Too often the imagination exists to scare us, shame ourselves, or fantasize sexually.  I know many others are awakening with similar insights regarding the imagination’s power, talent and resources.  I hope people catch on soon so that the right brain population can begin to be actualized for all they are capable of for civilization.  It seems right now we are marginalizing people outside of the left brain box and that puts everyone at a reduced intelligence level of being.  Emotional intelligence is what is dehydrating and dying of malnourishment, the clues are  in the imagination and cannot be labeled without serious consequences to the growth of the mind.
Male and female right brain oriented people will love visualizing, pretending, coming up with self-help idea because it reminds them of something unconscious. I am confident some will connect with my words that maybe they could have been simply imagining in the dark without awareness.  A state of mind that is unhappy, frustrated and feeling powerless is a real clue the imagination is in the dark.  When the right brain is utilized talent and intelligence becomes unlimited because the imagination is infinite.
The clearer the mind’s eye picture the closer one is to self-actualization.  It will take some practice but any sensitive / defeated feeling folks who want change will find amazing results with the imagination.
Control your mind and come up with some ideas on how to make whatever you want to happen, happen using the imagination while visualizing, sensing, pretending.   Understand the wisest teacher lives within you.  Imagine, create, or guess your way back to your intended place in the universe.  Imagine self-love, esteem, peace and comfort instead of what you are used to imagining – and soon you too will experience the universal gifts you were born with.
Strive to sense your mind’s eye garden as clearly as intended and the miracles begin…
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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in depression, anxiety, grief, loss and more, who advanced her professional career by braille until she woke up a few years ago. With a lifetime of circumstances of misfortune, personal trauma’s, drama’s, and loss after loss she was at her wit’s end with grief and despair. At 50 years of age she picked herself up once more, and recovered her own shattered life using the wonders of hypnotherapy – discovering her calling. Working part-time she is accepting clients by appointment. Check the website and Hypnotherapy / Counselling service price list.
West Kelowna, British Columbia
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When I Realized No One Was Saving Me – I Saved Myself.

In suffocation we cannot breathe.  The same can be said for a controlled or dependent life when the dependency is unhealthy.  Some people think they need to give up drugs, booze, hoarding, or eating because if they do not they will be shamed, shunned, and love will be withdrawn.  Others think they have to hide in addiction because it feels better than sobriety in their individual reality.  At the very least the bad deed keeps a person comfortable for a while and sometimes that is all they need for emotional relief and their personal opinion of a happy life.

What if you can live any way you see fit?  If I gave you permission right now to go forth and do life your way, here are the resources, what would you do with your opportunity?  I am going to guess you just don’t know because you’ve never allowed yourself the idea you CAN be anything you want.  Let’s start there.  Conscious (learned) thinking is the only thing that keeps anyone stuck in unhappiness.   Early training, mind conditioning, thoughts that have been planted and you’ve unconsciously accepted them as truth. Unconscious does not know the difference between fantasy and reality and your feelings and body will respond to all thoughts fed to self whether true or not.  Keep telling yourself you are fat, add some fear, worry, shame – bingo – you’ve got more weight then you’ll know what to do with.

The problem is the mind can be so sensitive if a non-abusive adult inadvertently remarks to a child about her weight – it may trigger that child up for a lifetime of eating disorders.  Some kids will ignore the comment and simply assume the adult is nuts.  Others will take authority literally.  After the child’s brain is developed, contrary to popular belief, it’s still up to individuals to figure out how to survive in spite of their thinking deficiencies by the time they leave home.  I am not blaming home environments as you will read – the root cause of our problems come from historical conditioning of populations, designed for control.

The creator of life experience after 18 – is you.  That means you have a chance now of making something special, or even great about your purpose happen.  Not if you are sitting in someone else’s negative mind-set, however.  There are a lot of nay-saying folks who can’t wait to tell you your good ideas will not work out.  So, smoke some pot or drink some beer or take a pill if you want.  Or, ignore what is in your way and make a plan to develop the way you see fit.  I am willing to bet you won’t need anything if you are happy and peaceful.

It isn’t easy to shut out the background noise, the mental tapes of no I can’t, and some people seek out help to reframe their thoughts.  In hypnotherapy folks come up with their own wise ideas that suits their personality, interests, values, zodiac signs and what have you.  The right part of the brain has been so neglected in public school where all the system wants to teach a child is how to remember and calculate proven principles.  What we forget all of the best intelligence is sitting on the other side of the brain waiting to be discovered!  Wisdom, peace, emotional wellness are all experienced when the right side of the brain is respected as much as we concern ourselves with the left hemisphere.

Perspectives.  How we perceive our own behavior and what we see in the actions of others comes from ages of experience we all have in life.  My eyes will see something completely different from your eyes in a given case.  We will have black and white differences that cannot be reconciled because one person’s experience will be vastly different than someone who has lived in the wilderness, or another place, all of their life.

I am empathetic to people’s issues and I’m not trying to upset anyone here.  But my message is getting louder because the mental illness and addiction problem is getting worse under the current models offered.

We do not all experience life the same way because of environment, but more importantly we are all born unique souls with different journey’s of learning and teaching!  The problem is everyone wants everyone else to live the same way they do.  Of course there are influences, and events special to the individual that will mold a person’s mind toward a certain belief system and reason for core values and behaviors.   A family can have a group of amazing beings who all follow the program the way we would want.  Everyone gets along the same, thinks the same, does life the same way.  I know many families that appear like this and I’ve often felt a little short-changed because I just cannot imagine how that life might be like.  I say fantastic and good on you and your historical families for finding a way.

Typically this is not the case and a family has a group of individuals who piss each other off by not complying to the status quo, or complying with resentment.  This creates a lot of stress and drama that will reduce chances of a free life.  Some have so much over-reaction to problems the dysfunction embedded makes a happy, healthy life for anyone in the group impossible.

I am unsure what my family is doing these days – I only know how I am because I decided a long time ago the same influences that affected me so negatively had to go so I could have a fresh perspective about life and the meaning of my own existence.  I’ve had an amazing journey lol…and can’t thank my history enough for teaching me how to find my way.  Not everyone can break away but protection of self is possible.

Listen, I am the same woman I have been all of my life – but 100% different in my thinking about what my contribution to the universe was meant to be about.  As a strong character I’ve picked myself up and started over a few times, and even after an unhappy childhood I was able to build a comfortable life with family, career, and collecting toys in triplicate.  In spite of my good works I came to have a host of life struggles, pain, loss and grief.  Heavy duties for living was piling up and I eventually collapsed feeling utterly powerless, voiceless, and really – in some kind of shock I think as I fumbled through my pain, trying to get someone to save my life for me.

Today I look around and adore the beautiful way I discovered to run my own life and am excited about where I am going.  Not everyone will want to live my way and this is not my point – I am suggesting what if it is okay you live your way and we let everyone else run their lives as they see fit?

At the end of the day we are all going to do whatever we want to do in spite of other people’s best intention for our lives.   Now of course I am not encouraging reckless behavior – or doing anything that directly affects someone else.  You are a grown up with manners by now, the civilized thing to do is no harm to others.  If you want to slowly kill yourself with habits that harm you – do it, but please don’t allow anyone else to go down with you by insisting they live with your lifestyle.

Today I share a part of me, which is what I bring to the table to encourage peace of mind, comfort, and self happiness instead of the fight for perfection in someone else’s eyes.

I use to have a very hard time liking myself, at all.  Ashamed of my very existence and I had no idea why.  I was never a bad person – from the moment my only child was born when I was 18, I worked very hard at building a good life for myself and family.  I had to do better than anyone else hopefully to prove I am a good girl in everyone else’s mind.  Because of early childhood trauma, neglect, and lack of maternal or paternal love I suspect I will have a lifetime of difficulties to overcome – it is my journey and yet now I take on every new challenge with enthusiasm and my good mood remains stable.

My role growing up and into adulthood was to be the willing scapegoat for anyone who didn’t want to take responsibility for their shit.  I was begging for love and taught others they could use me as an escape to their problems – I’ll take the blame.  I made myself the sponge to be the reason for everyone’s anger, fear, shame and ego pride.  I allowed myself to be identified through ‘their’ eyes with little ego fight in me at all.  I cared more about everyone else’s feelings than my own.  Sometimes I went off into some kind of unconscious rage over the madness of the situation.

It turns out I was mad at myself all along for what I wasn’t doing to help my own good life.

I did not know how to articulate what was wrong because I didn’t know any better way.  But my mind and body were in a lot of pain and I now understand a part of me was reacting adversely to the conditions and rules I found myself living in.  I was completely blind to my own circumstances even though I thought I had things pretty much figured out.  I had to  remove myself completely from the brainwashing, manipulation, emotional whippings before I could see a way out through my own eyes.

It is very difficult to cope in today’s perfection oriented, fast paced left brain world of judgement.  And we all make things so much harder on ourselves and others with emotional reactions that are unnecessary, do not solve a problem (but can sure make it worse), and even harm us more than if we were just left to change what we want to change – not what others think we should.

All life choices will have natural consequences that are positive or negative.  If someone around me doesn’t like what I do, or how I live, but I am okay with myself – they have to go because I refuse to allow anyone else to punish me if I am not breaking any laws.

For me I was living in a world of negative emotions like shame, fear and self anger; then came alcohol, followed by anti-feeling prescribed drugs, then suicide when I realized that no one and nothing else was saving me.  Today’s medical answer to the trauma’s that were piling up like a twilight zone movie the methods and motives felt like insanity at some parts.  Only I knew I wasn’t insane – I was hurting.

What is offered for help now is not only not working – it is creating insanity.  Anyone who still has one eye open can see the drug and mental illness problems in North America are getting worse not better under the organization of ‘science’ or the medical and spiritual models of powerlessness.   Yet society is conditioned to believe now that a pill, drug, or mood altering substance is a good idea and prescribe it by the trillions of dollars every year we consume in prescribed medication.  The anger I sense from people on the drugs as they read my articles are palpable.   They insist I am wrong, the doctors are right and how dare I question science?  Oh, I do question science because in my experience (and I have a lot) science is nothing more than a marketing word to convince someone of something they cannot see themselves.  Like the world is flat.  We’ve known for thousands of years the world is not flat.  But the powers back in the day thought it might be a good idea to tell the masses the world was flat to keep folks in control.  Not a lot of people left town with that fearful idea of falling off the earth.  This is real.  It really happened.  Science and government have always operated under rules that control the population.  This prevents individuals from discovering for themselves something better than what is offered by the bosses.  Christopher Columbus didn’t want to stay in his town, and went to Queen Isabel of Spain and begged for money to check out the world.  A woman of curiosity and inquiry decided to grant the request and ever since we now all know the world is, in fact, round.  Do I trust science?  Sometimes.  But now I make sure I also consider my personal judgement located on the right brain where my senses live. *

We only will see what we WANT to see until it no longer works, or causes bigger problems.  As a people we are about as brainwashed and mind conditioned as we can get when it comes to not believing in ourselves, or natural solutions.

Recently a 40-year-old woman came to see me and had just started Baby Effexor.  BABY EFFEXOR is how they are marketing it now, the doctors.  When I was first fed my dose I was told it was to balance a Serotonin chemical I was lacking, and just like a diabetic person needs insulin a depressed person needs anti-depressant pills.  I believed in the science, blindly, without questioning because that is how I’ve been trained to be.  The problem is you can call it Baby  Effexor, or insulin, or whatever you want to name it to feel okay to take it in good conscience.  Only the taker of the medicine will be able to say if it works for them.  It is still a chemical way to live life and if it works – great.  If it isn’t working folks don’t seem to care.  They will come to me and want to get to the root of their problem but so filled with brain numbing drugs I can’t reach their feelings for any change to be possible.  The irony is I can work with people who engage street drugs, or anti-anxiety medication…the drugs I find the most problematic for reaching right brain capabilities are government sponsored anti-depressants and anti-psychotic medication.  These drugs are designed to never wear off.  24/7 the brain is inhibited and the person hardly realizes their own deficiency within a few weeks.

Anti-depressant medication inhibits the senses for human survival and well being.  How do I know?  My right brain tells me.  While I was plied with the drugs I allowed things to happen that were detrimental to my life, and the life of someone I was responsible for.  My vision, hearing, and feelings were literally shut down to nothing.  My hunger sense, sexual arousal sense, body temperature, blood pressure were all manipulated with these sorts of chronic drugs.  On doctor ordered medication I signed away a terrible divorce agreement that really harmed my future and I managed life in a way I would never let be with my own senses.

Drugs that alter moods is not a cure no matter how we want to spin it.  Of course it is a choice and I hold no one in judgement for choosing this solution if it works for them.  I say do what you want to do unless you decide it is not working and then find another way, or stay in the system –  if you are of legal age you don’t need me or anyone to tell you how to conduct your life.  I am sharing my story.  Yours might be different.  Right?

After I miserably failed at suicide l looked around and found myself alive and alone anyway.  I had nothing to lose but to try a new approach to me.  I decided to try Love.  When left to my own devices I researched and finally went for hypnotherapy treatments (thinking a past life might explain my problems) and instead of finding out I was a bad person in another life, I found my mindful awareness opening up like never before.  I had a change of thought, feelings, and deed and looked at myself in ways I would never have imagined before.  This therapy wasn’t even a little bit flakey to me, it made sense to my better self and I went full on to learn everything I could about the subject of intuitive, spiritual energy – the unconscious mind.

I got a lot more out of hypnotherapy than I ever bargained for but it was just the beginning and it was not in the way I had expected it to work.  It was the opposite of a counsellor saving me – I saved me by daring to look within and deciding what I wanted to change, and what about me I wanted to develop more.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I found myself!

I turn down clients because I know they will get nothing out of hypnosis if they are unable to reach their senses, or feel they must ‘do something’ to keep the love of someone else.  It’s very sad what we do to people with addictions and mental illness, although I am certain it is done unconsciously and it is not the intention to make anyone’s behavior a condition of love.  I will tell a client straight up if I think they are making a mistake in attempting a life change before they are ready to put the effort into what took a while to build up.

Am I perfect now?  Nope.  But I sure love who I have become and enjoy my life-like no other time in my 57 years on earth.  When I am down I know just what to do and how to take care of myself.  I have an unconditional love that I didn’t know before, it is in me and connected to the rest of the universe.  As civilians of the earth we are conditioned to be dependent on others for survival…and if someone dies or leaves us we may wonder how we will survive.

If our lives are enhanced, complimented, thriving in a healthy family with dependency it is a joy to watch and admire.  Too often, however, healthy family dynamic is getting harder to find.  People are so dependent (or controlling) the emotional needy attachments get in the way of recovery for anyone in the room and can, in fact, make mental illness and addiction behavior seem magnified and things can get out of control for more than the person with the perceived ‘problem. ‘  Toxic environments spread like poison – soon the issue is more than a habit, or addiction – it is an entire house of negative emotional reactions by everyone involved.  Nothing gets solved in the middle of fear, worry, guilt, shame or anger.

I am not speaking to the ones who feel in control of their own lives.   However, if you find yourself in a control / dependent relationship with an addicted or mental loved one in an emotionally negative way, maybe you will learn something from my message as well that might help your situation.  I’m really speaking to the people who have no intention of getting better for you, or anyone else.  Why won’t they change?  Because unconsciously they know they are here for their own journey, not yours.  They will quit when good and ready, and not a moment before.  The recovery (or death) will be right on time – just not your time perhaps. We are born and we die alone – rarely at the same time as other family members, and so it is prudent to be in charge of this one life you have, your way.  I lost the best part of my life.  My son Trevor lived for 25 years and I have to say now – what a ride!  I now understand how things were suppose to unfold and I’m even good that he left when he did.  This boy had a heart of gold, was gifted intellectually left and right brain, and lived life as if it was over in 25 years.  He was a problem child, like me.  Now I know, he knew.

I think, unconsciously, we do know more than we think we know, and the more we wake up, the more we will discover for ourselves just how amazing we creatures are.

The Intuit, the first sense we have, is to survive in comfort.  Unconsciously any one of us is going to find a way to make themselves comfortable in whatever way possible.  We live and cope to the best of our own ability and knowledge, with what we know.  If we happen to engage in an unhealthy habit, well, the habit is not going to change until the person decides THEY have had enough of the problem.

It is not the drugs, alcohol, food or hoarding or other obsessive behavior to change (these come from emotional pain) –but self-hatred living in the heart that will drive a person to destruction.  The subconscious part of our being is where that answer resides, it does not sit in the ego and therefore it is pointless to try to fix it from that part of the mind.

I am going to share part of a conversation with a friend earlier today regarding her hoarding problem. *Virginia’s young son, Danny, passed away of an illness about a year or two before my Trevor died.  We met at a grieving parent’s retreat in Pavo, Georgia in about 2004.  We have empathy toward each other because we have both suffered severe loss and of course can understand each other’s pain.

This was her comment about her hoarding and my reply:

You name it……..I probably have it. But there’s just TOO much STUFF……I’m overwhelmed. I did try Ebay for a while but I messed up and it was time consuming. There’s always some kind of DRAMA with the kids (4) or grandkids (8) !!! Wanna move to N.J. ~ live next door to your “hoarder” friend and motivate her to CHANGE her life (whatever is left of it). (lol), actually, not so funny.

Cherylann Replied:

Oh my friend, I suspect you like your place full and I would never interfere with that. These things make you comfortable. You have not had a good reason to let any of your things go. I am willing to bet a lot of the anxiety you sense around the hoarding is coming from family members? You know I work with addictions, mental health issues, and the one common denominator that exists in all of my clients is that unless they WANT to stop what they are doing, they will not. We are survivalist’s– born to survive and thrive any way we can.

Unconsciously, you found a way to cope like we all do in different ways. This is your way of a comfortable life. It’s not for me, it is probably not for a lot of people – but YOU enjoy it. So, whatever is left of your life as you say, why not pack your bags and live in what you enjoy? Why not give yourself permission to live any way you feel most comfortable – with your things and memories? If it is affecting others in the home then find a way to make them comfortable as well. Maybe one room can be cleared for their comfort? Why not have a little sit down with each and every one of your family and let them know how you feel? There is a problem (because you mention it) so why not solve the problem and keep yourself happy and comfortable in whatever solution you can come up with to suit yourself first, and everyone else second?

If you are not allowed to live in any way that brings some sense of comfort, peace, or happiness – then that is the problem, isn’t?

You matter my friend. You really matter to me always.

Sometimes just giving people permission to live their way makes them want to do things differently.  I have witnessed the controllers finally giving up and sending their child on their own way – and they end up becoming amazing creative beings.  And, other times people do decide to just live the way they want and if it is not causing anyone harm do life their own way until they die.  If a certain loved one is not in the background making a lot of noise about it, living outside of norms can be a peaceful life too.  Eat, drink, hoard – or be weird – it is a choice and no one is powerless.

It is the harsh cold world that is so full of fear, worry, shame and anger it can hardly stand up balanced anymore.  Everyone from the government to the medical community to the education system – to loved ones – they all want to control the individual ‘for their own best interests.’  Kids are dying by suicide in record numbers with an inability to cope with the multitude of laws, rules, and conditions we have if they expect love and acceptance.

Trying to live up to an impossible image of someone else can suck the good life out of the best of us.

The solution is empathy.  Empathy is having a heart-felt understanding of what people experience that leads them in their behavior.  Empathy does not exist just for others.  WE must feel love, acceptance, and understanding for ourselves before any behavior can be managed or stopped.   Punitive measures to fix emotional pain is an asinine idea, brute force, intimidation, aggression only works for a few very strong ego minded people who don’t mind doing what they are told in spite of their own best interests.  Yes, messing up really bad might be in a person’s best interest!

A change of mind is in order.

The perception anyone has of themselves will rule how they live.  Change the perception and behaviors disappear naturally.  Toughness can only keep someone held down for so long before they find a way to break free.

What hypnotherapy promises to the willing mind is a renewed look at how much control, love, and compassion we can feel without over doing any unhealthy product, and the new self-love naturally motivates the spirit to live, act out, and experience a happy life that appeals to one’s own senses in any way they want.

Permission to be free, happy, and at peace will only come from the individual who believes they are allowed to live the way they choose.  The (unconscious) cult like mind conditioning we see going on in families, school, television, movies, social media, news outlets, and marketing commercials have no more power if one is focused on a life they want to experience.  Keeping your eye on the ball of your life is the only way to freedom.  Looking at everyone else and what they are doing right or wrong cannot help because you are only God to one.  Create a life that you can be comfortable in, or proud of, and run with your own ideas all of the way to success.

Or, count on someone else to figure out life for you – at least decide that you are okay with any choices you make.  The bottom line when I advise anyone is to make sure YOU are happy with YOUR life decisions  – or find another way back to your natural place of comfort.

Control vs. Love.  It will be okay if you tell your kids, spouse, or parents to be responsible for their own lives.  They will survive – or crash in their mistakes – and it will have nothing to do with you.  Please do relax and work your issues – not theirs – for better life results.  If you have difficulty letting go and want help consider a type of therapy that will empower you back to self.

  •  Important footnote:  It is NEVER too late to begin again.  Please do not suddenly stop taking anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication.  There will be discomfort unless done correctly and the mind is very fragile during this state of mind.  Cherylann often supports clients while they wean off and help the client retrain the body to relax while awake through the wonders of hypnosis.

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I write and speak from my heart and soon I’ll be publishing video’s instead of blogging like this.  If you like my thoughts I’d love to have you follow me.

Likes, shares and comments are always appreciated!  THANK YOU SUPPORTERS – WE ARE GETTING IT DONE!  ❤

Cherylann M. Thomas, BASc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in anxiety, depression, grief, addictions, weight loss and more.  Working out of the Family Wellness Treatment Centre in West Kelowna, Cherylann prides herself on her awakening intuit, skills and experiences that transfer success to her clients.  Openness about her own story, and willingness to go the extra mile with every soul she encounters makes people feel comfortable immediately.  Hypnosis treatment is special, but make sure you are ready for the positive mood changes to begin as soon as you start!

Are you ready to make positive changes to your life?  Please check our website for details at 

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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fear

Fear and Anxiety Resolved – Try This!

Most of us are aware of anxiety attacks and understand they can be life debilitating.  Sensations of panic will come out of the blue and paralyze the body, scramble the mind, even stifle the lungs or throat.  I know exactly what it feels like to hold up an entire air ambulance because even though I was drugged to the hilt with pain and anxiety medication (I was suffering a burst tubal pregnancy) I could not get inside that little aircraft due to a panic attack.  The medics finally had to knock me out with a strong sleeping drug and even still I was awake and panicking inside – I just couldn’t move my body for the drugs.   I held up another airplane a few years later in Cozumel, Mexico due to panic.  It’s embarrassing and keeps many good people stuck in their homes like prisoners if the solution is not found.

What causes this?  There could be a number of reasons for panic or anxiety attacks, including a ‘unconscious knowing’ of something a person is unwilling to bring up to the conscious. Other sensitive souls pick up the energy (moods) of others and feel those moods like it is their own, causing unconscious confusion leading to anxiety.  There are a few shaky ones who are intuitively psychic and just don’t know it.  But the most common cause of panic is the imagination.  Our imaginations get us into trouble because as a species we tend to believe external mental conditioning and take on false belief systems that work against the person’s true journey.  As a species we lie to ourselves, make up stuff that can be just the craziest idea but accepted as truth, and literally make the mind and body feel sick simply because the imagination is feeding false information to the unconscious.  Our unconscious mind knows and remembers everything – but it does not know the difference between fantasy and reality thoughts – and will accept anything you tell it and respond accordingly.  Intuitively.  Unconsciously our bodies are going to react to what the critical conscious mind is telling it.  Anxiety that occurs the first time can lead to a lifetime of difficulties if not dealt with early.  

It is Not Hopeless!  Try this one technique at home –

If you suffer with a specific anxiety attack (public speaking, airplanes, driving) before you venture outside take a moment to close your eyes and visualize with your mind’s eye doing all you want to do and get done. Creatively sense yourself being calm, confident, and in control as you amaze your audience with your speech, or fly in that airplane, or drive over that bridge.  Use your senses (auditory, visual, feeling, tasting, and smelling) in your imagination pretend vision.  In other words, using only your imagination map out your feared event as if you are already doing it successfully!

This easy exercise only takes a few moments and is amazing in its treatment for many types of anxiety.  The mind needs to be fit – to be harnessed, happy, healthy.  Hypnosis works with the mind by using the right hemisphere where emotions, ideas, and creative imagination are held.  Just practicing this deliberate visualization can improve all areas of your life.  In our culture the right brain has been neglected. We are trained from grade one to focus on left brain logic, memory, order.  If we do not work with the other part of ourselves we can become unaware of why are bodies and minds are ‘off balance.’  We are all guilty of using our imaginations to scare ourselves senseless – it is the culprit that gets the body into trouble, and the imagination is what will restore the sensory balance for physical and mental relief.

Some people who suddenly feel anxious due to an accident or event can have their problem cured in one session. Others have more work to do but a full recovery is expected. Hypnotherapy is an empowerment and self-control tool for life.  It is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works!   If you are interested in having help with your anxiety we welcome enquiries.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim,CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist Registered with the Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She works out of West Kelowna, British Columbia passionately working with issues such as depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and abandonment.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are also amazing mental fitness processes to lose weight, stop smoking, and tackle any habit the beholder wants to be rid of.  Please see our website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca AND like us on Facebook FOR DAILY INSPIRATION!  http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy .  Shares, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! xxoo

mental fitness

EXPOSING THE NARCISSIST

Are you feeling weak, anxious, depressed or stressed for nothing you can put your finger on?  You could be in the orbit of a malignant Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a very real problem in today’s society and these extremely disturbed beholders will create much drama and trauma in the wake of their numerous intimate and social relationships throughout their lifetime.

No matter how smart you are, they have a genius way of making non narcissists feel confused, anxious, and stuck with them.

Sadly, if you have allowed yourself to be victim in the clutches of a narcissist chances are you doubt your own good senses to the point you’ve completely lost your ability to see things objectively.  Truthfully.  I’d like you to remember that you are capable.  You can solve problems.  You are okay but you have got to get away.

Hiding from Truth reduces our natural ability of feeling in control, strong, self-confident and capable.

It is very difficult to recognize the signs of a narcissist until the damage has been done. Please take this article as fair warning.

Narcissists push the buttons of emotionally reactive (normal) people and then watch the drama unfold in glee. This is how they get fed.  They need your emotional energy to survive because they have none.  But even still you will tend to only see the things you have in common.  You have so many things in common because the N will mirror his image for your pleasure until you are sucked right in.  So you want it to work.  Will it to work.  And all too often good folks are willing to give up their very identity in an attempt to make this (hopeless) relationship work until they are bled completely dry.

Symptoms of NPD

Narcissists secretly (sometimes overtly) feel superior to the rest of the general population.  They tend to have a lot of false pride — pride in things they did not earn themselves.  They will be jealous of your success and relationships and create mind-boggling interference (character assassination causing family, employment, or community & social alienation).  Narcissists are often sexually over-active, entitled, demanding, critical of others, and have cold views of people and the world.  N’s see people with feelings as weak, and make delicious meat out of their supply to feed themselves with.  They do not care who their supply is — even their own children are feed for the malignant narcissist vampire; so why do you think they would love you more?

Narcissists are men and women. They are CEO’s of corporations, volunteer or political organizations; they love to manage other people’s money and businesses…and they are heads of families. If they are not the leader they are the sidekick of someone with more standing than themselves in an attempt to morph themselves into the power they crave.

These beings do not seek mental health help (remember there is nothing wrong with them), but they sure can create self-doubt if their victim is not strong enough to ward off such brilliant manipulation.  More often than not the N’s target was already raised by one or more narcissists and find the abusive cycle familiar, comfortable…and so they dive in to the same kind of abusive relationship…again and again and again…until they (we) finally get it.

I was raised by two of them, and one sibling out of four made my life a living hell while I was engaged in co-dependent abusive relationships. I didn’t get it until I lost everything to the whims of the malignant narcissists I grew up with.  I was 50 when my mother died making sure she got the last word, leaving angry and very sad family drama in her wake. I finally see the insanity of my relationship with the narcissist. It can’t work. It is a co-dependent reign of confusion that will never end until one of the two participants finally leaves.

Trouble is, if you are repeatedly hurt and neglected and used and spoken ill of you may attract more of them in your adult years and you tend to stay in longer than is healthy or just go out and find new ones to abuse you.  It is like we become magnets for the same kind of abuse we experienced as younger, impressionable youths.

Who Are the Narcissists!?

Narcissists are your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, best friend, boss, coworker…there is no discrimination to be a narcissist.  NPD is as common as any other labeled mental illness and it is in the DSM as a psychiatric disorder. There are no medications for such a problem, however. The Narcissist lacks conscious feeling and there is no drug or treatment that can grow a conscious feeling from nothing.

Sometimes your narcissist will at first glance appear to be like a knight in shining armor; or a prince or princess charming, if you will. Your own good unconscious mind may pick up that something is wrong right off the bat; maybe you will act on it, but the N will cry, and need you.  Then the old critical conscious mind wins by ignoring those powerful intuitions we are all born with.   Very soon the charismatic mask will slide off and what you will find underneath of your new relationship is about as ugly as it gets.  But by then most long-term sufferers have completely stopped listening to themselves and their own good judgement.

We let the narcissist in and share our secrets, stories, ambitions, and weaknesses.  Ah, the narcissist loves your weaknesses!  When you stop being obedient the N will take your secrets and hold them up to the light of day for everyone to see in an attempt to shame you, guilt you, reduce you in the eyes of others.  The narcissist gets a sick pleasure feeding off of the fears and worries and shames of others.  They will twist your words as they project their own ugly minds on you…as if you think like that.  You don’t.  Trust yourself.  Trust yourself.  Can I say that again?

That’s why I suggest so frequently to not listen to gossip!  If you feed on talk about someone you know nothing about soon you very well could be that mouth’s next target.  You can count on being next.

We have somehow learned to stop listening to our own wise inner selves and sacrifice our emotional well-being as we keep the abusive cycle alive. When we ignore our own Truth we can count on something giving.  Inside of yourself you will create stress, anxiety, depression, drug or alcohol abuse as a way of coping the uncontrollable dance with a malignant narcissist.

It’s Time to Take Control

First, practice trusting your intuition before you trust anyone else.  Next, when you finally come to the realization you are in a dangerous relationship do not confront the narcissist.  It will be like reasoning with their cousin, the serial killing psychopath.  And, it will give them time to find a way to control you even more dangerously.  There is no point to confronting an N at all because they cannot change.  And things can get very very bad for you if you do not make the break quickly and quietly.  Tell a few close friends what is happening before the break.  Protect your good name, children if involved, and assets before you make your escape.

The NPD can destroy your reputation and emotional well-being so masterfully it rarely gets confronted by their active listening audience, or even the supply herself.  You don’t know what the hell is going on so what can you do?  You wonder what is wrong with you and you keep trying to fix yourself to be better.  You never will be good enough as long as you allow creatures like this into your psyche.  I realize we have to live among all people to get along but this is one person you do not want to get too close, or reveal your innermost secrets to.  Not if you don’t want to feel the shame and embarrassment when your personal laundry gets aired out in public later…when you no longer toe the line.

You Are Better Than You Think!

You have the information.  Now it is up to you to give your head a shake and ask yourself if you are the problem, or is someone else making you the problem?  I do not pussyfoot around with aggressive or passive aggressive abusers in my life anymore.  I just cannot afford the risk after already losing everything to the N’s of my past.  Whenever I come in contact with another narcissist (they are in every circle) I run, not walk the other way as fast as I can without causing damage to myself.  If I must be in the company of a narcissist I have a protective bubble all around me as I observe with caution.

Your own intuition will never lead you wrong.  Listen to your good and far wiser Truth and enjoy the freedoms of life you are offered.  Your journey is suppose to be yours without fear, remember that.

Whoever ends the codependent cycle of narcissistic abuse wins.  For your sake and safety, make sure it is you.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist in Westbank BC, specializing in empowering her clients to emotional and mental freedom from abuse and trauma.  Helping her clients face the fear, worry, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, grief, loss and despair is what finally brings her clients peace, strength and a renewed zest for life.   Check out her website and facebook at

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

You Will Never Be Enough

Do You Know a Psychopath?

Do You Know a Psychopath?

Does a Psychopath or Malignant Narcissist live in your world? Get out!

I saw a client today, it was her 5th and final session with me (she stopped smoking). She did so well at the stop smoking, I suggested she use her other paid sessions to work on something else.

So, she wanted to work on her anger. Two weeks ago she told me she saw a Medium, and this medium was so good, so on target…and she seemed to know her husband so well. Turns out, the medium told her that her husband has had two long affairs over the 37 years they had been married. She gave one of the ‘affairs’ a name, Ava (as in Gabor, I wondered right away?) Anyway, the other name was Sheila. Details galore! The years, what they did, where they did it…all of it. If this medium is for real, she needs to be on television and very rich.

I don’t doubt what my clients tell me, I have to go by what they say. So when she first told me about the medium a couple of weeks ago I really didn’t put a lot of stock into it, one way or another. What mattered was how my client was reacting to the news of her husband having multiple affairs and now, as they inch into their 70’s, she has this huge trauma going on.

These messages of sexual liaisons would never have been allowed in her mind if she didn’t already have a history with this subject. Delore’s husband did have an affair in the 80’s, she met the woman, she gave her husband a choice, he picked her. As far as she was concerned, problem over.

Until along came a spider…

So, it was easy to believe, especially with all of those details, right?

My client (Delores, not her real name of course) said she has gone through all of the bank statements, all of the cell records to 2002, everything…she almost hired a p.i. but since these ‘affairs’ have been over since 2010, what is the P.I. going to find that she can’t find?

She found nothing.

My client is tortured. I could see it on her face today that she was going to lose it if she didn’t get answers. She said she would stay with her husband of 37 years, she loves her life, the cabin up at the lake, the kids…all of it has been going so well! She does need to know for sure. She insists she won’t be lied to…that’s all he has to do, confess. She’ll stay with him, she resolved, if he would just come clean!

She asked her husband if it was true, did he have other affairs? He didn’t get angry, he just said no, never happened. .She pushed. No! He swore up and down she was wrong (interestingly, she didn’t tell him WHO told her).

Her unconscious mind knows why she didn’t tell him all of the details or who told her this, IT WAS A LIE. Our unconscious minds know the truth, always. If you are not speaking up, it may be a lie, or wrong, in some way.

As things were finally dawning on me, on what was going on, I saw the same look on this woman’s face that I had years before. The look of torture and despair over being told something about someone else and being completely duped.

Only, it was me who was cruelly gossiped about…I was a victim not unlike my friend when a psychopath in my world destroyed almost all of my relationships. I just have no idea of what was said about me, that caused people I loved to leave me.

I still don’t know, but today I don’t care. If people are so willing to believe the worst in another human being, without CHECKING IT OUT, then they also need some help and I can’t be bothered with followers like that anyway, anymore.

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As we talked today I decided to gather more details. You will not believe what she told me. Her friend, “Donna” is a lesbian. she is living with a woman named Brenda. Brenda is very controlling, she has told her lover, Donna, to put her ageing mother in a care home. Donna did not think this was right, and managed to say no to her lover in this regard.

Guess who the Medium was? Brenda. Brenda, who is lovers with Donna who is friends with my client, Delores. She sat her down at the kitchen table and told her she was a medium and could ‘see things’ (first of all, don’t mediums work with the dead?). She saw her husband having these affairs, she gave details, and every time Delores would say, noooo, that couldn’t have happened, he was home every night, every weekend! She tried not to believe…but Brenda is a crafty one all right…(aren’t they all)…she said it happened at work, at lunches, in the closets, that type of thing.

Well, let me just say she was so good my client 100% believed her and has been going through hell these last weeks, as she is giving up smoking, trying to find the evidence to put in front of her husband and say, “HERE, THERE IT IS, YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME ALL OF OUR MARRIED LIFE!” Fess up! She begged.

When Delores walked into my studio today I saw stress all over her face. She was beside herself. Nothing was working out, she can’t get the evidence.

That’s when I asked her for more details and when she told me of the triangle relationship going on (she is co-dependent with her friend Donna, because she doesn’t find it easy to meet friends and she likes Donna’s company. Brenda is just the ‘lover’ in the background).

She does not want to believe her only friend of three years, Donna, had any part of this at all. She said Donna was there, at the table and she was as surprised at how the ‘visions’ were unfolding as anyone.

Can you guess the roles of this psychopathic dynamic?

It starts with the psychopath (Brenda) who always has a side-kick ‘supply’ to keep in control (Donna) and then she uses Donna to get at others. To destroy relationships. Because that is how they operate. They are evil to the core and they seem to be in this world for no other reason other than to create trauma and drama in their friends and relationships lives.

They love to see the hurt. The pain in the face is priceless to the psychopath. And to see this poor, 70 year old woman scrounging around her house to find evidence of affairs by her husband of 37 years???

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I asked my client this question…I said, “Let’s say Brenda is right. Everything she saw and heard in her ‘visions’ was the truth. Your husband had affairs up until 2010. Suppose that is all true.”

And then I asked her, “Who and why would anyone tell you that, other than to hurt you to the core of your being?” For what purpose was this psychic reading?

The light went on.

After we did some internal work Delores left my studio strong and free. Her husband never had an affair with these ‘ladies’ and Brenda is a danger…maybe so is Donna if Donna cannot see things better than she has been seeing them.

I suggested my client have a long talk with her husband, and if she cannot, then she needs to ask herself why. Is she wanting to hang onto this co-dependent relationship triangle?

We shall see, it is difficult to remove yourself from people you have grown to love. It’s the most difficult thing in the world to do…say goodbye to something YOU thought was real. Relationships with the psychopath are never real. They lack feelings. The only emotions psychopaths can really experience are rage, jealousy, and false pride. Other than that, they are empty beings who are created to create problems for others.

To the psychopath, people are simply supply to feed the urge to hurt others and watch the squirming of emotional pain.

But as she was leaving I suggested that if it came to believing her husband of 37 years, or this woman she really knows nothing about, then we need to do some work on her loyalties and why she is so easily led. She agrees.

Do you know a psychopath? Have you ever been supply for a psychopath?

It is easier to fool the masses, than it is to convince them they have been fooled. Einstein. I love that quote and can’t use it enough, especially in cases like this.

 

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