I Put My Eyes Inside of Myself and Guess What I Found?

If you are open, or ready, you will hear me today ūüôā ¬†This is big. ¬†And kinda deep. ¬†Be forewarned you may find your own life’s question here today!

The Truth to everything I needed to know about myself was inside of me all along. ¬†I just didn’t dare look. ¬†Based on the harshness of my upbringing, and cruel tapes I continued to play regarding my horrible self (in my mind) how could I comfortably look inside of me without risking finding I am the devil incarnate or something worse?

After I closed my eyes, plugged my nose, and jumped in to myself,¬†instead of finding Ted Bundy’s sister,¬†I found a vision of beauty. ¬†I found my core intentions are usually about a pure as they could get! ¬†I see flaws, I see many mistakes, and when I put it into proportion to my story, I feel instant forgiveness! ¬† Today when I look at myself I see more awesomeness than the bad stuff! ¬†What I thought would be the most painful thing to do, ended up being the easiest ride I’ve had my entire life! ¬†Easy, and addicting and healthy!

Sometimes investigating our feelings and behaviors is the hardest thing to do.  Our disturbance makes us feel moody, off balance, uncertain.  Soon enough the negative (dark) emotions overtake the good light and energy from our always decaying bodies.  They weigh heavy on our heart, spirit, soul, that we can hardly function sometimes.  Feelings can become a physical sickness if the root of the disturbance is never brought to light. It can be terminal by accident, homicide or suicide, or death by utter heartbreak.

Anger.  Fear.  Worry.  Guilt.  Shame.  Jealousy.  Envy.  Self loathing. Insecurity.  These are our enemies.  This is stress and anxiety right there.  These are our demons that have to be conquered to feel well emotionally.  And what do we do?  We keep feeding them.  We allow them to reside inside of ourselves for long periods of time.  The energy suckers just keep getting bigger and bigger creating havoc and conflict and covering up our actual strong, beautiful, amazing selves.

Some people think our emotions are impossible to be rid of because they are a part of our being, our core. ¬†And some say I am asking too much. ¬† The nay-sayers swear emotions are created by something not in their control. ¬†Serotonin or a person did it too us. ¬†Not so grasshopper, not so. ¬†If you can imagine the worst, the way you are, you can imagine the best! ¬†You have always had full control but no one ever told you that. ¬†They said you were sick, or a hopeless sinner. ¬†They judged you with their vivid imagination. ¬†And you allowed your imagination to see the same bullshit someone else told you was wrong. ¬†Your thinking, feelings, emotions…all learned imaginary beliefs, or made up by yourself.

Our God-given purity is so encased in negative and disruptive emotions we hardly know our true selves anymore. ¬†We begin to act out. ¬†Alcohol, pot, and anti-depressant abuse takes over until our brains are so nicely flat-lined, we just don’t care anymore. ¬†We become apathetic to our living situations. Our hell. ¬†We get use to it. ¬†It becomes as real as anything solid to us. ¬†My message is that we are held back only by our limited belief systems. ¬†Me…you…all of us are in this together. ¬†Most of us have indulged in the feel-good quick fix, am I lying?

If we learned how to deal with our troubling emotions, and allowed ourselves to be completely honest, we would all be walking around free with a heart full of passion and a head full of gratitude instead of all of this stress and anxiety.

I want you to do something (please).  Take your most troublesome emotion.   Name one.  Look closely at what it is, and what it means.  Do you own it or is it a lie you have accepted into yourself?  For example, if you are walking around with a heavy heart of guilt, or shame, put it up to the light of day and take a good hard look at it.  Do you own that?  Do you deserve a lifetime of self-abuse because you are to be ashamed of yourself, or guilty for some infraction during your life?  Did you do it deliberately?  Is it something you can change?  Was your intention to harm some one or some thing?  If not, what, exactly, are you holding onto the shame or guilt for???

Are you filled with fear and anxiety? ¬†What is going on there I wonder?! ¬†Look inside, you know it, you remember everything. ¬†Once you find the Truth in the emotion your symptoms will diminish instantly because you will know exactly what to do to ‘solve’ the problem, or¬†you may¬†there is nothing to do about it at all. ¬†Inside of your true core self you will find you are innocent, safe, and in control of everything, and the¬†renewed¬†power feels GREAT!

When you finally allow the truth to surface in the face of your feelings, you will be AMAZED at how beautiful, and wonderful, the Truth really is! ¬†You were never suppose to give up! ¬†The subject is even crazy to consider, isn’t it? ¬†If you are so foreign to the rest of us humans and you care to punish yourself forever that is another matter. ¬†Then you have to go inside and find out why you beat yourself so harshly for your human frailties. ¬†Sure, figure out what it is you need to change about yourself. ¬†Admit it. ¬†Own it. ¬†And now stop it. ¬†Done. ¬†It really is that simple, and you really do have that much control over yourself. ¬†Have you given yourself life for this infraction? ¬†Is that appropriate? ¬† We are but a sum of learned thinking and feeling. ¬†We are better than whatever that looks and feels like.

Through the ages we have been brainwashed by¬†either¬†pharmaceutical commercials or religious organizations to believe we have no control over our emotional or physical well being. ¬†That God or drugs will save us, nothing else. ¬† I am saying we are trained, generation before generation since the beginning of time that we are NOT to depend on our own good common sense! ¬†We are sinners! ¬†We are Sick! ¬†Only GOD or Effexor will bring you back to life, depending on your belief system. ¬† The trouble is, these are lies for most of the population in emotional trouble! ¬† Our very own girl (or boy) inside is pure, healthy, fit, powerful, confident, and in control of everything. ¬† Not only that, we are really filled with love, compassion and JOY! ¬†In every generation before us higher powers have tried (and really succeeded didn’t they?) to take our gift of free will (control over selves) away in the name of power, control, money. ¬†W to believe in something other than ourselves and that is the worst mistake a spirit can make…believing it!

The more lies, secrets, shame we stuff, the more we lose of that better part of ourselves.   The more we lose our light.

Let’s look at another emotion you may be harboring, driving yourself crazy with. ¬†Anger. ¬†I was once told by a mentor of mine, years ago, that any anger I hang onto, is anger at myself and myself alone. ¬†I said that makes no sense. ¬†Someone did me wrong, robbed me, and I can be angry, right? ¬†She said, “Right.” ¬†For a minute. ¬†Then you deal with it, talk about it, get it out in the open – or end something you have no control over. ¬†Anything after that is you, and you need to see what you are so mad at yourself for. ¬†Chances are it will be something like you picked him, or stayed too long, or didn’t speak up, or could have moved and didn’t…you get my meaning. ¬†All emotions belong solely to the beholder. ¬†Think about the last time you were angry for a long period of time at someone, or some situation. ¬†It stuck to you like a stickly black toxic poison and you allowed it to stay a while. ¬†I’ll tell you why. ¬†You did something wrong and were mad at yourself. ¬†Done.¬† Owning your stuff¬†is the key to ending the free rent for enemy feelings. ¬†The next thing to do is forgive yourself and decide to do it even better next time. ¬†Learn, let go, live. ¬†We are born to make mistakes, we are not A mistake!

But you see here is the problem: ¬†Many of us were raised in situations that created negative tapes in our heads. ¬†We learned to play these tapes, over and over and over in our own little vulnerable minds, beating the living life out of ourselves, because of these messages we learned to think, “I am stupid.” ¬†“I am ugly.” ¬†“I am too ____.” ¬†or my favorite of all, “I am _____,”. ¬†Name your judgment because that is all it is…a learned judgment. ¬†They are not facts. ¬†They have no power because they are not real. ¬†They are the figment of the imagination, typically brought on by an experience, an outside judgment, or a series of experiences that made our minds add one and one and come up with something not true. ¬†And then we feed that to oblivion sometimes.

Today is a good day to take a peek at what is really going on inside.  Pull out any emotion you choose, and decide you are done feeling it.  Look at it carefully, examine all sides.  If it is yours, do something about it.  If it is not yours, or if it is not a proven fact, shift your imagination to something else.  Something better for yourself.  It all starts with a new thought, the seed of everything.

Wishing everyone reading this love, peace and light.

Cherylann Thomas

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Cherylann Thomas is a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association operating a successful hypnotherapy practice in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Skype Service is available.

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What Does Stress Do to Your Body?

Stress gets the award for the highest ranking disorder in causing death.  Heart disease, cancers of all varieties, skin diseases, liver and kidney disease; even suicide and murder are inspired by..you got it, stress.

Close your eyes, and imagine your own body for a moment.  And feel all of that emotional pain of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment again.  Just for a minute.  Where do you feel this in your body?  Is it in your chest?  Your heart and lungs could be at risk for dis-ease.  Does something stir up in your tummy area?  Your intestines, bowel, stomach, liver and kidneys are being ravaged by the stress you carry.  Maybe you feel the ANX in your abdomen and you often experience health issues in that area. Or, if you remember your emotional pain as being felt in the head (usually the enemy beasts of anger and resentment) you may have ache, or even some difficulty with the physical brain.

Take a moment to focus really hard on what your emotional upset is doing to that part of your body. ¬†Think of it as black. ¬†Prickly. ¬†Heavy. ¬†Poisonous. ¬†and just watch it (in your mind’s eye) swirl around and attack your insides.

If that doesn’t inspire you to do something about the weights you carry around with you then nothing will. ¬†Stress comes from overwhelming feelings of worry, fear, guilt, shame, anger, resentment. ¬†All of these emotions are useless to our psyche, but we tend to fall back to them every time a little incident happens in our lives. ¬†Sometimes we let those energy suckers hang around so long within us, we begin to feel the disease of the stress on a physical level. ¬†Tense muscles come from stress, so walking around like a pinched up peg isn’t going to be good for the bones, joints, and muscles either. ¬†Sometimes new unsubstantiated diagnoses come then, followed by, you guessed it, more drugs.

Contrary to what the commercials tell us, we do have control over our own emotions. ¬†Sometimes we don’t think we do, but we really do have all of the control we need to manage ourselves. ¬†When we think we have no control we are at risk of believing the filthy rich pharmaceutical companies who would like you to believe that Serotonin, a chemical imbalance issue, is the culprit to your feelings and drugs are needed. Trillions of dollars and millions of lost lives later, we see that we still don’t have a blood test to verify what we have been fed on that matter. ¬†No matter who I talk to, the ones prescribed¬†and taking¬†psychiatric drugs, all firmly believe that they are mentally sick forever, and the drugs will be needed forever. Frequent dosage increases are needed as the drug adjusts itself to the brain.

What if the DRUG WITHDRAWAL is making you feel unstable?

People just don’t see that they feel ‘mental’ when they try to stop taking the drugs, because the drug got itself addicted to your brain almost immediately (just like heroin) and trying to stop makes the brain feel very unstable. ¬†So, people believe they really do have a physical issue and no control over making their lives better and carry on with their drug solution.

If only we could end stress the drug free way.  If we would teach young and old people coping skills to feel more peace of mind, we would be doing humanity a huge service.  What is going on now is not only creating early deaths, it is making us mindless mental pygmies; slaves to the anti-depressant and other psychiatric medication to overcome feelings.

Dare to look at what your stress is doing to your body. ¬†Look close and ask yourself if you really need to live like that, or if maybe you do have more inside power than you ever gave yourself credit for. ¬†I challenge you that you do have a superhero¬†inside of YOU¬†just waiting to be unleashed from all of the heaviness you allow to stay around. ¬†Stop it. ¬†Get up off the couch and go get yourself some coping skills. ¬†There are free support groups everywhere. ¬†Other than actual brain damage, there is no excuse for anyone to live in pain, alone…and drugged!

It is our secrets, our shames, our stuffing of things that need to be out in the open that will lead to stress and early death. Go find out why you do that, and your new lovely life will begin!

God bless you everyone.  I wish you all love, peace of mind and extreme happiness!

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of the Family Wellness Centre in Westbank.  Specializing in:  anxiety, depression, phobias, and weight loss.  Using a variety of techniques including regression therapy, parts therapy and suggestion therapy to empower clients find their own inner power.  Skype service now available.  778-755-4001.  http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

medicine

A Fistful of Dimes!

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I’ve been talking to my friends about these dimes I keep finding all over the house in places dimes shouldn’t be. ¬†It’s so obvious it gets stupid sometimes…but it reminds me of the years immediately following my son’s death, I would find dimes in the strangest places…so many times I took notice. ¬† I never heard of such blessings before; other than the clich√©, Pennies From Heaven. but what’s with dimes, I wondered?

A few years into the dime gifts, I remembered something, and an awareness washed over me like a warm, loving blanket: Just one month before his death, on May 27th, I made a gift to my son for his 25th birthday. For some reason that birthday I wanted to make him a HOMEMADE cake, not an easy fix store-bought one anyone can buy.

Sidenote (squirrel) I like to share I am an amazing cook and even can my own stock, soups, stews, and even my girls’ dog food; but I know I have zero skills in the baking department (see the cake in question below). My son laughed so hard at my well-intentioned attempt but held it all back by covering his face with a birthday hat.

But wait, there was more to this homemade birthday cake: At the time I was formulating the type of cake I would make (choosing from a variety of boxed Betty Crocker cake mix), I remembered the delightful surprise of getting coins in my cakes as a child growing up. Well, either I got them or I saw a friend’s cake full of money once. I don’t remember precisely where the coins in a cake idea came from in my history, but I knew I wanted to put some DIMES in my son’s cake this year! And so I wrapped several dimes in wax paper and slipped them in his cake. ¬†This memory / connection completely slipped my mind until years after Trevor’s death.

Trevor's dime cake

For some reason I was feeling very nostalgic and just wanted to give my son a homemade cake I had never given him before, with a surprise of dimes, representing my wish for peace, happiness, and abundance for his future, inside my homemade cake!

I know it’s taking a leap about the coincidence of dimes in his birthday cake and me finding a bunch of dimes after he passed. But keep reading…and these coinkydinks¬†keep getting curiouser and curiouser.

So, that was a lovely sensation of understanding about my dime situation all those years ago. But now, here they are back. In the last few months I’ve again found a multitude of dimes, usually singularly. Today I was at a 7-11 store and my coin change for $5.12 worth of two beverages, was a fist full of dimes! ¬†The clerk apologized repeatedly, as I starred with mouth wide open at what he had given me, him stating dimes was all he had for change.

Thanks to witness and photographer Arlana Tanner Sibelle, I have a photo of my dimes I am sharing here!

When I got home from our outing at the Penticton Angels and Fairies Expo (I can’t make this stuff up, because that is where I was all weekend), and pondered my blessing of all those dimes today in one fell swoop, another awareness washed over me, and I had to check my calendar!

Sure enough, today is June 14th: and is the last date I saw my son alive. ¬†That day, June 14th, 2003, I was watching Trevor pack up his 1985 BMW (a wedding gift from his in-laws) with his final belongings from our house. Gary, Ximi, Trevor and I were chatting, hugging goodbye, chatting again…hugging again. In just two weeks Trevor would be starting his heavy duty mechanic career at International Trucking in Edmonton. Ximi was going to ‘nest’ their new apartment until the fall, when she would return to school to complete her Tourism Management Degree. Her dream was to open a club.

I was so happy for these young pups, who had struggled so hard to get to where they could finally begin a life together with new blessed beginnings.

After a final kiss and squeeze, the kids piled in the packed car. Slowly driving away, they both had their arms sticking out of the windows, waving goodbye. My husband and I hugged each other, walked up the steps back to our house, and something sharp shifted inside of me. I felt horrible, and no understanding as to why. I wasn’t one of those clingy mothers who would suffer severe empty nest syndrome; that’s not the way it felt.

The truth is, I knew. I didn’t know I knew until two weeks later,¬†when,¬†on June 28, 2003, my son was taken from us in a car accident. Today’s that anniversary of the last time I held my son. Today I got a fistful of dimes.

I never thought I would recover such a traumatic loss, of my only child.  But I have.  I now understand he was a gift for me, for a wonderful 25 years.  I cherish those memories, and believe I am who I am today because of his birth, and because of his death.

About Love and Loss and How I Overcame

About Love and Loss and How I Overcame

I wrote this yesterday for my personal Facebook page. ¬†I decided it was worthy of including in my business practice as well; so here is a glimpse into the reason why I became a Clinical Hypnotherapist. ¬†It really is very personal to me, and my dream is to help others lift out of hopeless despair in my work — because I, of all people, know that peace of mind is available for everyone, because it was possible for me. ¬† I hope you enjoy this part of my story:

It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow. He would have been 37.

May 26, 1978 …Was the last day of my life as I knew it. From that date forward I would never be the same again. I was 18 years old, 127 pounds, and about to give birth to a 6 pound, 13 ounce healthy baby boy. The difference this birth would make to my life was so incredible, it felt spiritual.

I had no husband beside me. My boyfriend turned out to be in the closet gay and wasn’t handling it well; so he was never in the picture by his own choice. My stepmother held my hand. My father tried to stop my pain by offering vodka. My mother was 10 hours away as I was long ago a run-away teen. My best friend, Cindy, couldn’t be there because she had to cover my job as a full time nanny.

I was in labour for 72 hours. My body was very tiny and I was giving birth naturally. The Lamaze method was a new way to breathe back in the 70s. Some folks, not ones giving birth, I’m sure, said drugs were bad in childbirth. Was Lamaze a man? I wondered. I begged for the Demoral and finally got it.

As I became a new mother, I held a grade 9 education (although I did attend grade 10 — epic fail). I left a bad scene in my family home that I just could not tolerate anymore. And, I wanted to be free. ¬†I was never free in my home. ¬†I had no self-esteem, my primary feelings were anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, shame and guilt. I shake my head a bit as I realize that my poor baby didn‚Äôt have much of a chance, did he?

What made this event so spectacular was that for the first time in my life I would experience the sensation of maternal love. As I write this I get goosebumps just remembering looking at the utterly beautiful specimen in my arms and thinking, ‚ÄúOh my God! How I love YOU!‚ÄĚ I had no idea mothers felt like that! The new emotions were literally breath-taking. The blue skies opened up, the happy angels were singing, and all was right with the world.

It was a struggle. But this little guy, whom I named Trevor Thomas, kept me going like nothing else ever could. He motivated me to go back to school. I wanted a good life for Trevor and knew I’d have to go out and get it, and I did! In 1982 I met and married a good man, and we built a good life for our small family. We had all of the nice careers, homes and cars. From 1981 through to the late 2000’s I was building my career in the social/business sciences by educational achievements, involvement in politics and community organizations, and being a stand up employee and business woman.

I knew Trevor was watching me as he grew up. I knew he would only learn by me and whomever I allowed into our world to model for this child of mine. I wasn’t the best parent, I over-indulged my child and he did have some struggles with impulsivity and need for instant gratification as a result. I own that. I also feel a great deal of pride of how Trevor picked up some traits I value, openness, honesty, and compassion for others. He was all of that and more.

Trevor is the reason I am so very, very different than those dark days of youth. I couldn’t muster up enough sense of self to make something of myself, but this birth changed everything for me. It goes beyond any other kind of love I have had since. Gary and I were unable to have more children. I was told I was lucky I had my son at such a young age, because I had a serious fertility problem that would prevent any further completed pregnancies. Not many people know this about me, but I have had four pregnancies, only one birth. And that one didn’t make it 26 years.

My son was killed in a car accident in 2003. ¬†I’ll leave that there for now…

Sadly, our marriage could not sustain the emotional roller coaster ride that followed such a trauma. After 25 years of marriage, we said goodbye, and I began my new life here, in the Okanagan.

Trevor made me get up and live before. Who was going to get me up now?

I am not going to lie, I went back to all of the ugly old emotions of my childhood days real quick. My coping skills were zero. Well, I think I had the tools (much of my career was in employment counselling and teaching lifeskills to income assistance recipients) but I just didn’t have the strength to bother using what my intellect knew I should do.

Standing up when you feel so utterly filled with grief and a sort of black fog is all around, with no light to be seen anywhere, is not easy when you don‚Äôt have much of a foundation to draw from. Trust me. ¬†Some of you may already know what I’m saying.

Most who know me know I went down the psychiatric label and drug route for about five years after Trevor died. That was a mess. It sure didn‚Äôt get me anywhere in life, and at the end of the day, Trevor‚Äôs still not here with me. I had to deal with my emotions. I said, ‚ÄúIf I have to live, I insist I live well.‚ÄĚ No other options in my mind.

So, I picked up my pills, had a heart to heart — told them they doing it for me anymore and they had to go. (Insert warning: never, ever suddenly stop taking any psychiatric drug, find a friendly pharmacist who will help you wean off properly, your doctor won‚Äôt be helpful, in my experience, it is their job to push them as the best coping method).

The following piece was inserted for my personal friends’ understanding

I hope the paragraph below doesn’t sound self-serving, as I review it…honestly, all I have is my own real story.  My friends know I am a Clinical Hypnotherapist myself now, and I work with depression, anxiety and grief as specialties. My story is just not complete without me mentioning that at the risk of drawing attention away from the point of my sharing.

*****

The beginning of my second new life after Trevor’s death began to form in late 2007. I went south to White Rock to see a Clinical Hypnotherapist to hopefully find peace of mind and resolve my anxieties, and black depression. I heard the process of hypnotherapy was like counselling on steroids, and you get to the root of feelings light-years faster than the traditional talk therapy process.

I engaged in fourteen hypnosis and hypnotherapy sessions in sixteen days, and have never looked back.

I found Cherylann again. I found her strength, I found her power, I found her sense of self. I am okay, you know. A little sensitive sometimes, but generally calm, and at peace with myself and who I am.

I had another serious trauma happen in my world again in 2011, which is another book; but it seems nothing will keep me down because here I am, feeling confident, in control, calm.

Today Trevor continues to live in me as I remember his spirit, his love, his sense of humour, his kindness. He had a heart of gold and anyone who knew him will confirm. Trevor died because he completed his mission. I had this treasure for 25 blessed years, and today I say thank God I can feel again. I don’t have to pack my bags and live in grief anymore, but I can cry, and that, to me, is a gift I will cherish forever.

Conclusion

I am quite removed from that skinny emotional mess back on May 26th, 1978. The next morning, on the 27th, at 3:31 a.m. the whole world would open up for me, forever. For eternity, I am sure. Happy Birthday Trevor! I miss you as much today as I did yesterday, and the same as I will miss you tomorrow.

*******

Update

UNCONSCIOUS MIND at work as I sleep, OR TREVOR?  

I normally sleep very well at night. ¬†Something woke me in the wee hours of the morning, it was still very dark but I didn’t see the time. ¬†I felt wide awake and even restless, so I went to the kitchen to pour myself a drink of water (ice-tea). ¬†I sat around for a few moments, turned the t.v. on, then off. ¬† Decided it was probably way too early to think about staying up, so I went back to bed and fell on my back, eyes wide open. ¬†So, I grabbed my Kindle to read a bit, maybe that would lull me back to sleep. ¬†As soon as Kindle popped open the time flashed in front of me, ¬†3:40 a.m. ¬†It is my son’s birthday, and he was born at 3:31 a.m. on this day…I had been up for about 8-9 minutes, what are the typical conscious odds of me waking up at the exact time of his birth? ¬†!

Do You Know a Psychopath?

Do You Know a Psychopath?

Does a Psychopath or Malignant Narcissist live in your world? Get out!

I saw a client today, it was her 5th and final session with me (she stopped smoking). She did so well at the stop smoking, I suggested she use her other paid sessions to work on something else.

So, she wanted to work on her anger. Two weeks ago she told me she saw a Medium, and this medium was so good, so on target…and she seemed to know her husband so well. Turns out, the medium told her that her husband has had two long affairs over the 37 years they had been married. She gave one of the ‘affairs’ a name, Ava (as in Gabor, I wondered right away?) Anyway, the other name was Sheila. Details galore! The years, what they did, where they did it…all of it. If this medium is for real, she needs to be on television and very rich.

I don’t doubt what my clients tell me, I have to go by what they say. So when she first told me about the medium a couple of weeks ago I really didn’t put a lot of stock into it, one way or another. What mattered was how my client was reacting to the news of her husband having multiple affairs and now, as they inch into their 70’s, she has this huge trauma going on.

These messages of sexual liaisons would never have been allowed in her mind if she didn’t already have a history with this subject. Delore’s husband did have an affair in the 80’s, she met the woman, she gave her husband a choice, he picked her. As far as she was concerned, problem over.

Until along came a spider…

So, it was easy to believe, especially with all of those details, right?

My client (Delores, not her real name of course) said she has gone through all of the bank statements, all of the cell records to 2002, everything…she almost hired a p.i. but since these ‘affairs’ have been over since 2010, what is the P.I. going to find that she can’t find?

She found nothing.

My client is tortured. I could see it on her face today that she was going to lose it if she didn’t get answers. She said she would stay with her husband of 37 years, she loves her life, the cabin up at the lake, the kids…all of it has been going so well! She does need to know for sure. She insists she won’t be lied to…that’s all he has to do, confess. She’ll stay with him, she resolved, if he would just come clean!

She asked her husband if it was true, did he have other affairs? He didn’t get angry, he just said no, never happened. .She pushed. No! He swore up and down she was wrong (interestingly, she didn’t tell him WHO told her).

Her unconscious mind knows why she didn’t tell him all of the details or who told her this, IT WAS A LIE. Our unconscious minds know the truth, always. If you are not speaking up, it may be a lie, or wrong, in some way.

As things were finally dawning on me, on what was going on, I saw the same look on this woman’s face that I had years before. The look of torture and despair over being told something about someone else and being completely duped.

Only, it was me who was cruelly gossiped about…I was a victim not unlike my friend when a psychopath in my world destroyed almost all of my relationships. I just have no idea of what was said about me, that caused people I loved to leave me.

I still don’t know, but today I don’t care. If people are so willing to believe the worst in another human being, without CHECKING IT OUT, then they also need some help and I can’t be bothered with followers like that anyway, anymore.

***************

As we talked today I decided to gather more details. You will not believe what she told me. Her friend, “Donna” is a lesbian. she is living with a woman named Brenda. Brenda is very controlling, she has told her lover, Donna, to put her ageing mother in a care home. Donna did not think this was right, and managed to say no to her lover in this regard.

Guess who the Medium was? Brenda. Brenda, who is lovers with Donna who is friends with my client, Delores. She sat her down at the kitchen table and told her she was a medium and could ‘see things’ (first of all, don’t mediums work with the dead?). She saw her husband having these affairs, she gave details, and every time Delores would say, noooo, that couldn’t have happened, he was home every night, every weekend! She tried not to believe…but Brenda is a crafty one all right…(aren’t they all)…she said it happened at work, at lunches, in the closets, that type of thing.

Well, let me just say she was so good my client 100% believed her and has been going through hell these last weeks, as she is giving up smoking, trying to find the evidence to put in front of her husband and say, “HERE, THERE IT IS, YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME ALL OF OUR MARRIED LIFE!” Fess up! She begged.

When Delores walked into my studio today I saw stress all over her face. She was beside herself. Nothing was working out, she can’t get the evidence.

That’s when I asked her for more details and when she told me of the triangle relationship going on (she is co-dependent with her friend Donna, because she doesn’t find it easy to meet friends and she likes Donna’s company. Brenda is just the ‘lover’ in the background).

She does not want to believe her only friend of three years, Donna, had any part of this at all. She said Donna was there, at the table and she was as surprised at how the ‘visions’ were unfolding as anyone.

Can you guess the roles of this psychopathic dynamic?

It starts with the psychopath (Brenda) who always has a side-kick ‘supply’ to keep in control (Donna) and then she uses Donna to get at others. To destroy relationships. Because that is how they operate. They are evil to the core and they seem to be in this world for no other reason other than to create trauma and drama in their friends and relationships lives.

They love to see the hurt. The pain in the face is priceless to the psychopath. And to see this poor, 70 year old woman scrounging around her house to find evidence of affairs by her husband of 37 years???

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I asked my client this question…I said, “Let’s say Brenda is right. Everything she saw and heard in her ‘visions’ was the truth. Your husband had affairs up until 2010. Suppose that is all true.”

And then I asked her, “Who and why would anyone tell you that, other than to hurt you to the core of your being?” For what purpose was this psychic reading?

The light went on.

After we did some internal work Delores left my studio strong and free. Her husband never had an affair with these ‘ladies’ and Brenda is a danger…maybe so is Donna if Donna cannot see things better than she has been seeing them.

I suggested my client have a long talk with her husband, and if she cannot, then she needs to ask herself why. Is she wanting to hang onto this co-dependent relationship triangle?

We shall see, it is difficult to remove yourself from people you have grown to love. It’s the most difficult thing in the world to do…say goodbye to something YOU thought was real. Relationships with the psychopath are never real. They lack feelings. The only emotions psychopaths can really experience are rage, jealousy, and false pride. Other than that, they are empty beings who are created to create problems for others.

To the psychopath, people are simply supply to feed the urge to hurt others and watch the squirming of emotional pain.

But as she was leaving I suggested that if it came to believing her husband of 37 years, or this woman she really knows nothing about, then we need to do some work on her loyalties and why she is so easily led. She agrees.

Do you know a psychopath? Have you ever been supply for a psychopath?

It is easier to fool the masses, than it is to convince them they have been fooled. Einstein. I love that quote and can’t use it enough, especially in cases like this.

 

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The Cure For Mental Illness

The Cure For Mental Illness

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As you may have figured out by now, I am very passionate on the subject of government and pharmaceutical company domination of our emotional well being.¬† So, I get a lot of flak for my views, because there are many people right now suffering terribly with feelings of mental instability.¬† I will never argue if folks need the drugs to live better temporarily…but after a few months, come on, it’s time to deal.¬† Or not.¬† It really is that simple.

Please note:  I am not speaking of mental insanity or retardation or factual brain damage where control measures, such as drugs, is needed to keep the patient or others safe.  There is no doubt these drugs do have a place.

I am also acutely aware that many cannot afford alternatives to the traditional response to depression and anxiety.  The alternatives are kept hidden, regulated, not funded.  So, I get that in many cases we are stuck with what is available to help us through in that moment.

But at least let’s look at things a little more closely regarding this serious mental illness problem we are experiencing in the western world…keep in mind, our minds are like a parachute, it only works when it’s open. (unknown)_

I had to find out the hard way.¬† When I speak against the legal¬†drug nation, I am not speaking only from an academic point of view, I am speaking as an experienced mental case, certified crazy at times, even a member of the ‘lifer mentally ill category person until I escaped the system.¬† I know exactly what I am talking about, and¬†I am convinced we are going to regret this medicinal answer.¬† I was a victim too.¬† My son died.¬† Then I was all of the labels and I got away with giving up because no one knew what else to do with me.¬† “We understand why you are nuttier than a fruit cake, Cherylann…it’s expected, you lost your son afterall.¬† Go ahead, give up,¬†we won’t¬†judge you.”¬† I had zero internal skills to help myself.

I was in bed all day.¬† I saw the commercials, “If you are sitting there watching this like a moron, ask your doctor about getting a drug that will brain fry you even more.”¬† Well, something like that, you get my meaning.¬†¬† And I listened to the nice scientist man on the television tell me that my feelings were a sickness, and there was a drug solution to my sickness.¬† I could go to my doctor and get any psychiatric drug I wanted.¬† It just depended on what my mood was that day and what I would ‘tell’ my doctor; and he would respond with the right drug per the commercial on t.v.¬† You know I’m speaking the truth here.

Some pharmaceutical’s are the enemy to society’s civil¬†evolution¬†as we know it if you ask me.¬† I have no doubt that when I’m dead and gone it will come out that we have been experimented on for vaccines, and psychiatric medication.¬† I know we think the folks in India are being the paid guinea pigs testing our psychiatric drugs, but in fact many of them falsify results of success for better financial gain.¬† I think it is important to put a magnifying glass under that term, ‘Secondary Gain.”¬† Wherever there can be secondary gain in a system involving the masses, the validation of testing must always be suspect.

SECONDARY GAINS
FOR ENCOURAGING PERMANENT MENTAL HEALTH LABELS

1. Pharmaceutical companies (profit)…all the way down to pharmacies.
2. Marketers and Advertisers (profit of course)…follow the money…
2. Doctors (Career, without the drugs, what else do they have for emotionally disturbed individuals?)
3. Patient (Won’t have to face uncomfortable feelings and emotions; gives reason to miss or leave work; Gives reason to collect a legal government monthly pension (I am sorry, you know I am being honest here, why lie to ourselves?).

Sadly, of all secondary gains that make me the most frustrated, is when people give up forever and wave “I am sick and you don’t understand” flags.¬† Begging for validation to give up life.¬† I stopped doing that and never felt better.

I am not normally a conspiracy theorist, when I read about what was done to the military in WWI and WW II, and the testing done on the infirm and insane that was so egregious lives were tortured and taken by non-suspecting folks.¬† We need to research matters of the mind before we blindly accept the ‘chemical imbalance theory.’¬†¬† We seem to be like the stepford wives when it comes to the commercials that say, “Ask your doctor if you are sad or disinterested in life…”¬†¬† Why on earth do we think it logical to ask a scientist about our feelings?¬† The scientists think feelings are brain matter of some kind!

If you are emotionally distraught, what if it is a spiritual emergency, a message from your  unconscious mind, or God even!  What if you are masking the spiritual messages we all get from time to time.

Instead of hiding from our feelings and emotions, we need to listen and take lessons from them.

We miss someone terribly!  We are afraid of the future!  We did something bad!  I hate her!

These feelings are WARNINGS…you need to tend to yourself gently, or harshly, or just compassionately all around, but do it.

I have a feeling you secretly know I’m right.

Then we find out that the science community actually did brain surgery on emotional or emotionally unstable (women mostly) in the early to mid part of the twentieth century.  The human rights people put an end to that.  However, science soon came up with a chemical answer to inhibit the emotional response of the brain instead.

Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic, anti-feel drugs.

I wonder why we buy into that, really?¬† With no proof, no lab test to agree with the ‘supposition’ we are mentally ill forever.¬† We read a list of 10 ‘symptoms’ and diagnose ourselves before we even get to the doctor, who is only going to give you what you want if it is anti-depressants and the lot.¬† You know I’m telling the truth!

Feelings are messages to us from our unconscious mind (or God, if you prefer).¬† If you feel a touch of worry, or fear, or shame, or guilt, or resentment, or anger…you might want to ask yourself right then and there what is going on?¬† Get to the bottom of that feeling (and WE ARE ALL RESPONSILBE FOR OUR OWN FEELINGS, EVEN IN THE WORST OF SITUATIONS AND TRAUMAS).¬† And learn to act on your feelings by changing your mind, or communicating with someone.

What if everything you thought about mental illness was a lie?¬† I am not saying it is, I am saying, “what if?”¬† Wouldn’t you want to know for sure?¬† For something as serious as making your identity a mentally unstable person, why do we so easily succumb to this kind of thought?¬† Is it easier to be sick and helpless?

THE PROMISED SOLUTION

I think I know the answer…in my humble opinion:¬† Poor coping skills is the seed of mental illness.¬† Instead of ‘inheriting’ some unproven biological mental illness gene from our mothers and fathers and such, what if you are in a cycle of dysfunction and are simply copying the only way you know how to cope, which is to not cope!

We need to learn coping skills for ourselves, and there are many free agencies out there with some decent courses if you are willing to learn.  For those who can afford counselling or therapy, including hypnotherapy,

After or while we are tending to ourselves, we need to begin deliberately teaching the art of communication skills at a much earlier age to children than we do now.¬†¬† Let’s teach early classes of stress and sleep management.¬† We have to hurry up and teach our kids healthy relationship dynamics, because, let’s face it, many people are horrible relationship people, and still have KIDS!¬† The cycle continues…

We must knock down the school trustee doors and insist on more life skills for our kids.  They need it as much as they need those free lunches every day.  Right?

Thanks for reading.¬† I am going to keep on with my message, and hopefully, one person at a time, people will find themselves evolving out of depression and anxiety, and experience happiness instead.¬† I think it starts with finding a way to learn new coping skills.¬† Yes you can manage your own emotions and cope with even extreme feelings, like after a death, or trauma.¬† It’s been done for millions of years by trillions of people before you.¬† Somehow the world with far fewer resources managed to get by without swallowing a pill for every thought, feeling or emotion we don’t like.

It’s okay to have a melt down, just don’t pack your bags and live there.¬† It is a choice to become a butterfly, at one point.