When I Realized No One Was Saving Me – I Saved Myself.

In suffocation we cannot breathe.  The same can be said for a controlled or dependent life when the dependency is unhealthy.  Some people think they need to give up drugs, booze, hoarding, or eating because if they do not they will be shamed, shunned, and love will be withdrawn.  Others think they have to hide in addiction because it feels better than sobriety in their individual reality.  At the very least the bad deed keeps a person comfortable for a while and sometimes that is all they need for emotional relief and their personal opinion of a happy life.

What if you can live any way you see fit?  If I gave you permission right now to go forth and do life your way, here are the resources, what would you do with your opportunity?  I am going to guess you just don’t know because you’ve never allowed yourself the idea you CAN be anything you want.  Let’s start there.  Conscious (learned) thinking is the only thing that keeps anyone stuck in unhappiness.   Early training, mind conditioning, thoughts that have been planted and you’ve unconsciously accepted them as truth. Unconscious does not know the difference between fantasy and reality and your feelings and body will respond to all thoughts fed to self whether true or not.  Keep telling yourself you are fat, add some fear, worry, shame – bingo – you’ve got more weight then you’ll know what to do with.

The problem is the mind can be so sensitive if a non-abusive adult inadvertently remarks to a child about her weight – it may trigger that child up for a lifetime of eating disorders.  Some kids will ignore the comment and simply assume the adult is nuts.  Others will take authority literally.  After the child’s brain is developed, contrary to popular belief, it’s still up to individuals to figure out how to survive in spite of their thinking deficiencies by the time they leave home.  I am not blaming home environments as you will read – the root cause of our problems come from historical conditioning of populations, designed for control.

The creator of life experience after 18 – is you.  That means you have a chance now of making something special, or even great about your purpose happen.  Not if you are sitting in someone else’s negative mind-set, however.  There are a lot of nay-saying folks who can’t wait to tell you your good ideas will not work out.  So, smoke some pot or drink some beer or take a pill if you want.  Or, ignore what is in your way and make a plan to develop the way you see fit.  I am willing to bet you won’t need anything if you are happy and peaceful.

It isn’t easy to shut out the background noise, the mental tapes of no I can’t, and some people seek out help to reframe their thoughts.  In hypnotherapy folks come up with their own wise ideas that suits their personality, interests, values, zodiac signs and what have you.  The right part of the brain has been so neglected in public school where all the system wants to teach a child is how to remember and calculate proven principles.  What we forget all of the best intelligence is sitting on the other side of the brain waiting to be discovered!  Wisdom, peace, emotional wellness are all experienced when the right side of the brain is respected as much as we concern ourselves with the left hemisphere.

Perspectives.  How we perceive our own behavior and what we see in the actions of others comes from ages of experience we all have in life.  My eyes will see something completely different from your eyes in a given case.  We will have black and white differences that cannot be reconciled because one person’s experience will be vastly different than someone who has lived in the wilderness, or another place, all of their life.

I am empathetic to people’s issues and I’m not trying to upset anyone here.  But my message is getting louder because the mental illness and addiction problem is getting worse under the current models offered.

We do not all experience life the same way because of environment, but more importantly we are all born unique souls with different journey’s of learning and teaching!  The problem is everyone wants everyone else to live the same way they do.  Of course there are influences, and events special to the individual that will mold a person’s mind toward a certain belief system and reason for core values and behaviors.   A family can have a group of amazing beings who all follow the program the way we would want.  Everyone gets along the same, thinks the same, does life the same way.  I know many families that appear like this and I’ve often felt a little short-changed because I just cannot imagine how that life might be like.  I say fantastic and good on you and your historical families for finding a way.

Typically this is not the case and a family has a group of individuals who piss each other off by not complying to the status quo, or complying with resentment.  This creates a lot of stress and drama that will reduce chances of a free life.  Some have so much over-reaction to problems the dysfunction embedded makes a happy, healthy life for anyone in the group impossible.

I am unsure what my family is doing these days – I only know how I am because I decided a long time ago the same influences that affected me so negatively had to go so I could have a fresh perspective about life and the meaning of my own existence.  I’ve had an amazing journey lol…and can’t thank my history enough for teaching me how to find my way.  Not everyone can break away but protection of self is possible.

Listen, I am the same woman I have been all of my life – but 100% different in my thinking about what my contribution to the universe was meant to be about.  As a strong character I’ve picked myself up and started over a few times, and even after an unhappy childhood I was able to build a comfortable life with family, career, and collecting toys in triplicate.  In spite of my good works I came to have a host of life struggles, pain, loss and grief.  Heavy duties for living was piling up and I eventually collapsed feeling utterly powerless, voiceless, and really – in some kind of shock I think as I fumbled through my pain, trying to get someone to save my life for me.

Today I look around and adore the beautiful way I discovered to run my own life and am excited about where I am going.  Not everyone will want to live my way and this is not my point – I am suggesting what if it is okay you live your way and we let everyone else run their lives as they see fit?

At the end of the day we are all going to do whatever we want to do in spite of other people’s best intention for our lives.   Now of course I am not encouraging reckless behavior – or doing anything that directly affects someone else.  You are a grown up with manners by now, the civilized thing to do is no harm to others.  If you want to slowly kill yourself with habits that harm you – do it, but please don’t allow anyone else to go down with you by insisting they live with your lifestyle.

Today I share a part of me, which is what I bring to the table to encourage peace of mind, comfort, and self happiness instead of the fight for perfection in someone else’s eyes.

I use to have a very hard time liking myself, at all.  Ashamed of my very existence and I had no idea why.  I was never a bad person – from the moment my only child was born when I was 18, I worked very hard at building a good life for myself and family.  I had to do better than anyone else hopefully to prove I am a good girl in everyone else’s mind.  Because of early childhood trauma, neglect, and lack of maternal or paternal love I suspect I will have a lifetime of difficulties to overcome – it is my journey and yet now I take on every new challenge with enthusiasm and my good mood remains stable.

My role growing up and into adulthood was to be the willing scapegoat for anyone who didn’t want to take responsibility for their shit.  I was begging for love and taught others they could use me as an escape to their problems – I’ll take the blame.  I made myself the sponge to be the reason for everyone’s anger, fear, shame and ego pride.  I allowed myself to be identified through ‘their’ eyes with little ego fight in me at all.  I cared more about everyone else’s feelings than my own.  Sometimes I went off into some kind of unconscious rage over the madness of the situation.

It turns out I was mad at myself all along for what I wasn’t doing to help my own good life.

I did not know how to articulate what was wrong because I didn’t know any better way.  But my mind and body were in a lot of pain and I now understand a part of me was reacting adversely to the conditions and rules I found myself living in.  I was completely blind to my own circumstances even though I thought I had things pretty much figured out.  I had to  remove myself completely from the brainwashing, manipulation, emotional whippings before I could see a way out through my own eyes.

It is very difficult to cope in today’s perfection oriented, fast paced left brain world of judgement.  And we all make things so much harder on ourselves and others with emotional reactions that are unnecessary, do not solve a problem (but can sure make it worse), and even harm us more than if we were just left to change what we want to change – not what others think we should.

All life choices will have natural consequences that are positive or negative.  If someone around me doesn’t like what I do, or how I live, but I am okay with myself – they have to go because I refuse to allow anyone else to punish me if I am not breaking any laws.

For me I was living in a world of negative emotions like shame, fear and self anger; then came alcohol, followed by anti-feeling prescribed drugs, then suicide when I realized that no one and nothing else was saving me.  Today’s medical answer to the trauma’s that were piling up like a twilight zone movie the methods and motives felt like insanity at some parts.  Only I knew I wasn’t insane – I was hurting.

What is offered for help now is not only not working – it is creating insanity.  Anyone who still has one eye open can see the drug and mental illness problems in North America are getting worse not better under the organization of ‘science’ or the medical and spiritual models of powerlessness.   Yet society is conditioned to believe now that a pill, drug, or mood altering substance is a good idea and prescribe it by the trillions of dollars every year we consume in prescribed medication.  The anger I sense from people on the drugs as they read my articles are palpable.   They insist I am wrong, the doctors are right and how dare I question science?  Oh, I do question science because in my experience (and I have a lot) science is nothing more than a marketing word to convince someone of something they cannot see themselves.  Like the world is flat.  We’ve known for thousands of years the world is not flat.  But the powers back in the day thought it might be a good idea to tell the masses the world was flat to keep folks in control.  Not a lot of people left town with that fearful idea of falling off the earth.  This is real.  It really happened.  Science and government have always operated under rules that control the population.  This prevents individuals from discovering for themselves something better than what is offered by the bosses.  Christopher Columbus didn’t want to stay in his town, and went to Queen Isabel of Spain and begged for money to check out the world.  A woman of curiosity and inquiry decided to grant the request and ever since we now all know the world is, in fact, round.  Do I trust science?  Sometimes.  But now I make sure I also consider my personal judgement located on the right brain where my senses live. *

We only will see what we WANT to see until it no longer works, or causes bigger problems.  As a people we are about as brainwashed and mind conditioned as we can get when it comes to not believing in ourselves, or natural solutions.

Recently a 40-year-old woman came to see me and had just started Baby Effexor.  BABY EFFEXOR is how they are marketing it now, the doctors.  When I was first fed my dose I was told it was to balance a Serotonin chemical I was lacking, and just like a diabetic person needs insulin a depressed person needs anti-depressant pills.  I believed in the science, blindly, without questioning because that is how I’ve been trained to be.  The problem is you can call it Baby  Effexor, or insulin, or whatever you want to name it to feel okay to take it in good conscience.  Only the taker of the medicine will be able to say if it works for them.  It is still a chemical way to live life and if it works – great.  If it isn’t working folks don’t seem to care.  They will come to me and want to get to the root of their problem but so filled with brain numbing drugs I can’t reach their feelings for any change to be possible.  The irony is I can work with people who engage street drugs, or anti-anxiety medication…the drugs I find the most problematic for reaching right brain capabilities are government sponsored anti-depressants and anti-psychotic medication.  These drugs are designed to never wear off.  24/7 the brain is inhibited and the person hardly realizes their own deficiency within a few weeks.

Anti-depressant medication inhibits the senses for human survival and well being.  How do I know?  My right brain tells me.  While I was plied with the drugs I allowed things to happen that were detrimental to my life, and the life of someone I was responsible for.  My vision, hearing, and feelings were literally shut down to nothing.  My hunger sense, sexual arousal sense, body temperature, blood pressure were all manipulated with these sorts of chronic drugs.  On doctor ordered medication I signed away a terrible divorce agreement that really harmed my future and I managed life in a way I would never let be with my own senses.

Drugs that alter moods is not a cure no matter how we want to spin it.  Of course it is a choice and I hold no one in judgement for choosing this solution if it works for them.  I say do what you want to do unless you decide it is not working and then find another way, or stay in the system –  if you are of legal age you don’t need me or anyone to tell you how to conduct your life.  I am sharing my story.  Yours might be different.  Right?

After I miserably failed at suicide l looked around and found myself alive and alone anyway.  I had nothing to lose but to try a new approach to me.  I decided to try Love.  When left to my own devices I researched and finally went for hypnotherapy treatments (thinking a past life might explain my problems) and instead of finding out I was a bad person in another life, I found my mindful awareness opening up like never before.  I had a change of thought, feelings, and deed and looked at myself in ways I would never have imagined before.  This therapy wasn’t even a little bit flakey to me, it made sense to my better self and I went full on to learn everything I could about the subject of intuitive, spiritual energy – the unconscious mind.

I got a lot more out of hypnotherapy than I ever bargained for but it was just the beginning and it was not in the way I had expected it to work.  It was the opposite of a counsellor saving me – I saved me by daring to look within and deciding what I wanted to change, and what about me I wanted to develop more.  At the risk of sounding cliché, I found myself!

I turn down clients because I know they will get nothing out of hypnosis if they are unable to reach their senses, or feel they must ‘do something’ to keep the love of someone else.  It’s very sad what we do to people with addictions and mental illness, although I am certain it is done unconsciously and it is not the intention to make anyone’s behavior a condition of love.  I will tell a client straight up if I think they are making a mistake in attempting a life change before they are ready to put the effort into what took a while to build up.

Am I perfect now?  Nope.  But I sure love who I have become and enjoy my life-like no other time in my 57 years on earth.  When I am down I know just what to do and how to take care of myself.  I have an unconditional love that I didn’t know before, it is in me and connected to the rest of the universe.  As civilians of the earth we are conditioned to be dependent on others for survival…and if someone dies or leaves us we may wonder how we will survive.

If our lives are enhanced, complimented, thriving in a healthy family with dependency it is a joy to watch and admire.  Too often, however, healthy family dynamic is getting harder to find.  People are so dependent (or controlling) the emotional needy attachments get in the way of recovery for anyone in the room and can, in fact, make mental illness and addiction behavior seem magnified and things can get out of control for more than the person with the perceived ‘problem. ‘  Toxic environments spread like poison – soon the issue is more than a habit, or addiction – it is an entire house of negative emotional reactions by everyone involved.  Nothing gets solved in the middle of fear, worry, guilt, shame or anger.

I am not speaking to the ones who feel in control of their own lives.   However, if you find yourself in a control / dependent relationship with an addicted or mental loved one in an emotionally negative way, maybe you will learn something from my message as well that might help your situation.  I’m really speaking to the people who have no intention of getting better for you, or anyone else.  Why won’t they change?  Because unconsciously they know they are here for their own journey, not yours.  They will quit when good and ready, and not a moment before.  The recovery (or death) will be right on time – just not your time perhaps. We are born and we die alone – rarely at the same time as other family members, and so it is prudent to be in charge of this one life you have, your way.  I lost the best part of my life.  My son Trevor lived for 25 years and I have to say now – what a ride!  I now understand how things were suppose to unfold and I’m even good that he left when he did.  This boy had a heart of gold, was gifted intellectually left and right brain, and lived life as if it was over in 25 years.  He was a problem child, like me.  Now I know, he knew.

I think, unconsciously, we do know more than we think we know, and the more we wake up, the more we will discover for ourselves just how amazing we creatures are.

The Intuit, the first sense we have, is to survive in comfort.  Unconsciously any one of us is going to find a way to make themselves comfortable in whatever way possible.  We live and cope to the best of our own ability and knowledge, with what we know.  If we happen to engage in an unhealthy habit, well, the habit is not going to change until the person decides THEY have had enough of the problem.

It is not the drugs, alcohol, food or hoarding or other obsessive behavior to change (these come from emotional pain) –but self-hatred living in the heart that will drive a person to destruction.  The subconscious part of our being is where that answer resides, it does not sit in the ego and therefore it is pointless to try to fix it from that part of the mind.

I am going to share part of a conversation with a friend earlier today regarding her hoarding problem. *Virginia’s young son, Danny, passed away of an illness about a year or two before my Trevor died.  We met at a grieving parent’s retreat in Pavo, Georgia in about 2004.  We have empathy toward each other because we have both suffered severe loss and of course can understand each other’s pain.

This was her comment about her hoarding and my reply:

You name it……..I probably have it. But there’s just TOO much STUFF……I’m overwhelmed. I did try Ebay for a while but I messed up and it was time consuming. There’s always some kind of DRAMA with the kids (4) or grandkids (8) !!! Wanna move to N.J. ~ live next door to your “hoarder” friend and motivate her to CHANGE her life (whatever is left of it). (lol), actually, not so funny.

Cherylann Replied:

Oh my friend, I suspect you like your place full and I would never interfere with that. These things make you comfortable. You have not had a good reason to let any of your things go. I am willing to bet a lot of the anxiety you sense around the hoarding is coming from family members? You know I work with addictions, mental health issues, and the one common denominator that exists in all of my clients is that unless they WANT to stop what they are doing, they will not. We are survivalist’s– born to survive and thrive any way we can.

Unconsciously, you found a way to cope like we all do in different ways. This is your way of a comfortable life. It’s not for me, it is probably not for a lot of people – but YOU enjoy it. So, whatever is left of your life as you say, why not pack your bags and live in what you enjoy? Why not give yourself permission to live any way you feel most comfortable – with your things and memories? If it is affecting others in the home then find a way to make them comfortable as well. Maybe one room can be cleared for their comfort? Why not have a little sit down with each and every one of your family and let them know how you feel? There is a problem (because you mention it) so why not solve the problem and keep yourself happy and comfortable in whatever solution you can come up with to suit yourself first, and everyone else second?

If you are not allowed to live in any way that brings some sense of comfort, peace, or happiness – then that is the problem, isn’t?

You matter my friend. You really matter to me always.

Sometimes just giving people permission to live their way makes them want to do things differently.  I have witnessed the controllers finally giving up and sending their child on their own way – and they end up becoming amazing creative beings.  And, other times people do decide to just live the way they want and if it is not causing anyone harm do life their own way until they die.  If a certain loved one is not in the background making a lot of noise about it, living outside of norms can be a peaceful life too.  Eat, drink, hoard – or be weird – it is a choice and no one is powerless.

It is the harsh cold world that is so full of fear, worry, shame and anger it can hardly stand up balanced anymore.  Everyone from the government to the medical community to the education system – to loved ones – they all want to control the individual ‘for their own best interests.’  Kids are dying by suicide in record numbers with an inability to cope with the multitude of laws, rules, and conditions we have if they expect love and acceptance.

Trying to live up to an impossible image of someone else can suck the good life out of the best of us.

The solution is empathy.  Empathy is having a heart-felt understanding of what people experience that leads them in their behavior.  Empathy does not exist just for others.  WE must feel love, acceptance, and understanding for ourselves before any behavior can be managed or stopped.   Punitive measures to fix emotional pain is an asinine idea, brute force, intimidation, aggression only works for a few very strong ego minded people who don’t mind doing what they are told in spite of their own best interests.  Yes, messing up really bad might be in a person’s best interest!

A change of mind is in order.

The perception anyone has of themselves will rule how they live.  Change the perception and behaviors disappear naturally.  Toughness can only keep someone held down for so long before they find a way to break free.

What hypnotherapy promises to the willing mind is a renewed look at how much control, love, and compassion we can feel without over doing any unhealthy product, and the new self-love naturally motivates the spirit to live, act out, and experience a happy life that appeals to one’s own senses in any way they want.

Permission to be free, happy, and at peace will only come from the individual who believes they are allowed to live the way they choose.  The (unconscious) cult like mind conditioning we see going on in families, school, television, movies, social media, news outlets, and marketing commercials have no more power if one is focused on a life they want to experience.  Keeping your eye on the ball of your life is the only way to freedom.  Looking at everyone else and what they are doing right or wrong cannot help because you are only God to one.  Create a life that you can be comfortable in, or proud of, and run with your own ideas all of the way to success.

Or, count on someone else to figure out life for you – at least decide that you are okay with any choices you make.  The bottom line when I advise anyone is to make sure YOU are happy with YOUR life decisions  – or find another way back to your natural place of comfort.

Control vs. Love.  It will be okay if you tell your kids, spouse, or parents to be responsible for their own lives.  They will survive – or crash in their mistakes – and it will have nothing to do with you.  Please do relax and work your issues – not theirs – for better life results.  If you have difficulty letting go and want help consider a type of therapy that will empower you back to self.

  •  Important footnote:  It is NEVER too late to begin again.  Please do not suddenly stop taking anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication.  There will be discomfort unless done correctly and the mind is very fragile during this state of mind.  Cherylann often supports clients while they wean off and help the client retrain the body to relax while awake through the wonders of hypnosis.

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I write and speak from my heart and soon I’ll be publishing video’s instead of blogging like this.  If you like my thoughts I’d love to have you follow me.

Likes, shares and comments are always appreciated!  THANK YOU SUPPORTERS – WE ARE GETTING IT DONE!  ❤

Cherylann M. Thomas, BASc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist specializing in anxiety, depression, grief, addictions, weight loss and more.  Working out of the Family Wellness Treatment Centre in West Kelowna, Cherylann prides herself on her awakening intuit, skills and experiences that transfer success to her clients.  Openness about her own story, and willingness to go the extra mile with every soul she encounters makes people feel comfortable immediately.  Hypnosis treatment is special, but make sure you are ready for the positive mood changes to begin as soon as you start!

Are you ready to make positive changes to your life?  Please check our website for details at 

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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fear

When Did I Give Up My Mind to Science?

The more I engage in the practice of hypnosis the better insight from my unconscious I sense.  Things are starting to look amazing.  I hope you agree before they take this down !

Grab a coffee and enjoy a read that could change your life for the better instantly.  I will point out some simple clues to recovery, and explain in easy terms the mind, brain, science and snake oil.  To achieve this will you allow me to reframe some of the more traditional thinking?  If nothing else but for a moment of emotional relief from the strict confines of medical science I want to show you there may be another reason for mental illness epidemic we are seeing destroy families across the nations.

If the diagnostic model for mental illness has been working for you and the treatment programs you have been offered appeal to you, keep doing what you are doing and please don’t let my ideas offend you.  I have no intentions of changing anyone’s mind or method of treatment, I only share to inform another perspective that we could look at for the thrill of possibilities.

Well we have to give credit where credit is due.  The pharmaceutical trillion dollar industry has done a very good job on making sure we think mental illness is a permanent part of life, that without drugs the situation is hopeless. Labels and mind and mood altering drugs have become the new way to deal with problems for all ages of people, from the elderly being most likely to be on a psychiatric drug (Vancouver Sun states 97% of elderly); women next followed by children being the most common consumers before men.  We are rapidly giving in to sickly diagnosis of incurable mental illness which can come within minutes of sitting in front of a doctor.  How can they know you have a Serotonin problem when they can’t even be bothered to take a blood test?  They say mentally ill people need drugs to balance something, but have never proven the imbalance to the individual.  I know I’ve been offered and accepted anti-depressants by almost every single doctor I encountered beginning in about 1998.  At first we are told it was for only three months, then I must find another way to peace.

I use to blindly (not using my own senses) believe a man (or anyone) could know what is wrong with my body and mind without a scientific test. How is that for giving up will to another?  How do we come to that place as equal partners to other humans?

It is a fact of life that the people feeling weak or vulnerable are at a risk of being led somewhere that works against their own good senses for a satisfying life experience.

It is no secret in my community that I present myself as appalled at the current way we treat mental illness in Canada. To me it is not only keeping people sick, it is contagious through the family and generations to come.  Popping pills is NORMAL and we wonder why kids need drugs to cope and find their own way to get the job done.

Addictions continue to take over the will and lives of good people who become dependant on everything and everyone other than themselves.  We have much fear around trusting our own good judgement and intuition on how to live, and live well.

I think we have turned our will and our lives over to the power of others – is that what we are suppose to do?

Can it make us sick?

See if these unconscious bits of wisdom that comes to me doesn’t appeal to your better judgement:

Depression can be the best thing that ever happens to a person. It is a message from the unconscious that a sense (or more than one sense) is out of balance and needs attention.  It could be a spiritual emergency.

Self medicating is not going to help in the long run because it shuts down the part of the brain that is suffering, the right hemisphere.

Right brain is where ideas, emotions, and creativity for problem solving live.

Recovery becomes next to impossible to tap into while on long-term acting anti-depressants, which are designed to dull the senses for emotional pain relief.  Drugs are supposed to inhibit sight, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells to protect the patient from…life.

What is less known is the pharmaceuticals also affect the senses of sexual arousal, hunger, insight and sometimes common sense – putting children at risk of being neglected or placed in dangerous situations, depending on how strength legally prescribed drug the parent is taking.  Just because they do not give a ‘high’ does not mean those senses aren’t blocked.

Living with dulled senses for any length of time is not healthy to any reasonable thinking person.

In my opinion the whole chemistry theory simply cannot work for a spiritual energy, but this isn’t the first time I’ve sensed people in authority were wrong.

Like the time my pastor insisted (and I willingly believed) women bleed because of a punishment from God, and my role on earth was to serve man.  No wonder I was tired, ashamed, and felt hopeless.

Ideas may not flow to the blocked mind and yet that is where our true answers live. Think of depression as a clear signal that change is needed in some area of life.  If we cannot hear what the sense of depression is saying, how on earth can we end the pain and grow forward?

The imagination is what gets folks into trouble and it is what leads the way out.   But if we have no ability to imagine the best for ourselves we risk manifesting what we are imagining in the darkness.

I ask you to begin to deliberately imagine a better life you can enjoy.  You are allowed to fantasize the best for yourself besides in sexual situations!

To exercise your very own intuit; find a creative outlet that seems like fun to you. Colour, draw, write, or otherwise focus on something that will take you out of your head and in new light, so to speak. Play, pretend, enjoy something, no matter how small – as often as possible. Decide what is enjoyable for you, and do that.

Give up the control and responsibility of everyone else for extended periods of time – and never let anyone control you away from your peace.

Please become aware of the tapes you play in your mind about yourself, your life, and your problems.

The more we tend to focus, obsess, worry, the more of the same will we seem to bring about. For example, thinking about fat all day long will literally create more fat!

Maybe you can’t control the world at large, but you can get yourself into good mental shape if you think you matter enough.

Imagine you are responsible for one life and if you can manage that you pass the test and win.

If you build a foundation that works for you everything else will fall into place.

The universe will respond to your energy and reveal opportunities that will show you what you are really made of when connected to yourself.

If you are depressed because you didn’t learn solid coping skills, or were not really conditioned to sense a healthy image of self, please know that you are not permanently damaged! DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT, please.

It is never too late to change your imagination and gain these tools to thrive in life in a manner that actually works for you.

Begin to allow the idea that you are much more than this. Inside of you is a miracle just waiting to be revealed I promise.

I’m winding down:  This one is going to be hard for you, I know: But,

Be gentle with yourself, okay? No more tough love.

Chances are others were not always gentle with you and you’ve learned very well how to take over the emotional whippings.

Or, if you tend to be hardon others around you – maybe leave them alone.

Live. Let live. Let go. Grow.

Clear the fearful, shamed or angry energy in any way that works for you.

Aren’t you sick of people being mad at you, giving you unwanted advice, meddling in your business like you don’t have a lick of sense yourself?

Take yourself back at any time by speaking up against control.

Set boundaries.  We teach people HOW to treat us.  Teach them well.

Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.

The stress of everyone else’s emotional reactions is just too much so please don’t inflict unnatural fears and worries on others to pick up

And don’t let anyone do it to you.

Remember, you are responsible for ONE soul this journey.

Treat yourself and others kindly, keep a clear conscience for peace of mind.

I ask that you never push yourself to do what you are not ready to do. You will know when you have had enough, and not a moment before.

Go with flow, not against it

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek out help in a way that makes good sense to you.

Depression is sick, not stupid.

Use your senses of insight to make decisions about how you want to get your life back.

Ensure the person or program you seek assistance from respects you as an individual, and has uplifting, motivating, inspirational ways to get you to your life recovery.

Recovery does not have to be mean, harsh, or punishing. In fact, if it feels nasty the odds of it working is unlikely

Stay away from fads and fashions that have no clinical results.

People spend thousands of dollars trying to find the easiest, less painful way to self and end up with the least success.

Hypnotherapy is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works – but if the client is not willing to put any effort into the treatment – well, you get out of anything what you put into it.

Research and then ask yourself for the best answer on the kind of help you seek from others.

Talking about your problems is good. Once is enough.  After that you are beating a dead horse.

Going on and on and on is embedding the issues into the unconscious creating bad feelings all day long.

One good idea is to stop focusing on how you got to this place, and ask yourself what the solutions might be.

You know everything if you take the time to ask yourself. Isn’t it time?

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Please like and share if you find this helpful.  I am soon going to be producing a video blog so that I can just say all of this with my face right there for you to get to know. Let’s start talking about some other solutions than what we are currently being offered by the medical establishment.

Be like me; take back control over your comfortable happy life 🙂

Cherylann Thomas, BASc.Crim., CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist working out of the Family Wellness Centre in West Kelowna, BC. She has made a name for herself specializing in grief, loss, depression, anxiety and believes she is successful because of her amazing story of how she came to be at peace with some serious life situations that would bring most to their knees.  Cherylann copes happily with anything that comes her way today. She says, “Bring it!” to life challenges because she has a sincere belief that no problem is ever too big it cannot be fixed!

 

A Love Story About Goal Setting

I first learned about goal setting in a little basement church one Wednesday night in December 1982.  Dr. Tom Hopper was a guest speaker for my progressive church’s Wednesday night bible study.  What an amazing man as he was my first teacher about the power of our imaginations.

I was a single parent of a four year old boy, working for $900 a month as an office clerk, just above minimum wage at the time.  I worked on the weekends at a pub as a waitress.  I went to school on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  I had no family support or baby father to help with my load. What was killing me was the student loan of $4000 I had to pay. $100 every month ate away my measly earnings.  When I went about setting my goals the way Dr. Hopper suggested the first thing on my list under ‘financial’ was to pay off my student loan by March.  I also was ready to meet a real father for my son.  I set March for that as well. What the hell, right?

It seemed ridiculous.  The good doctor said to be specific in your goals, exactly how much money do you want, what kind of man do you want to meet.  The more detail the better he suggested.

How on earth I could reach such huge goals in three months made no sense to me, so after I did his secret ‘treatment’ for reaching the goals I put the piece of paper with my goals on it away in a drawer and forgot about it.

In January I was horrified to learn that my landlord was moving out and he had rented the upper suite to three young men.   My landowners were an East Indian family who often babysat for me when I worked on the weekends so the idea of having a bunch of men living above me now was hard to cope with.  I was a very mature 23, they were 20 and 21 with sports cars and it was their first time away from home.  I was driving a rust riddled green Maveric and had no extra money for skiing at Whistler or Blackcomb, the way they invited me so many times.  These decent but young guys liked the Who and other non-country music, were recent college graduates and all working one job during the week and free to do whatever they wanted the rest of the time.  Not my life at the time.

While I ended up enjoying cooking for the boys, and they fixed my broken down car more than once, I had no time or money for their party-time lifestyle.  While I was friendly they were much younger than myself emotionally.  Except Gary.  Gary was different.  He recently graduated from electrical engineering at BCIT and already landed a job working on main-frame computers for a large computer company.  He carried a brown briefcase to work everyday, and wore a tie.   He also gave all of his childhood Lego to my son who was very fond of the toys.  I was a little concerned because Gary gave the Lego up in organized by colour little boxes within a big box.  I knew my Trevor would have that Lego all mixed up in one big box in no time.

So they were different, but a good match as it turned out that later Gary would be my son’s father, baseball and soccer coach, and Cub and Scout leader.  A good man, husband and father.  Until March of that year however I had no idea I would consider one of the guys upstairs a potential husband!   Something happened in March that made me look at him differently, and the rest was a 25 year marriage.  Goal #1 – Check.

The other thing that happened that March is just as amazing after I set those goals and did the treatment.  I had this student loan I was paying every month, and so I made a financial goal of $4000.00 to be in my hands by March to free up more income for me, and give me credit for future student loans.

What happened next in how I was able to pay off that first student loan that March was nothing short of a miracle to me.  My baby’s father was free from having to pay child support because back in the day if the mother does not sue for child support within the first year of the child’s life the mother is not able to go after him later.  There is one loop-hole.  If the father is ever in contact with the child the time starts ticking for another year.  It was just by happenchance that for some reason the father got in touch with me for once in apparent concern for his son.  He took us shopping for groceries and gave me a cheque for $30.00.  This was a sign of paternal responsibility in the courts of law (we didn’t have DNA back then so women had a heck of a time getting help from deadbeat fathers).

I wasn’t a student of criminology yet but I knew I had to take my evidence to a lawyer right away.   There was no legal aid so I wondered how I could work this out.   Again, another coinkydink that made this goal become a reality: I was friends with a social worker who knew my pathetic income and was able to maneuver me a ministry legal team who worked on behalf of the Ministry of Human Resources as social services were called at the time.  I was somehow eligible for this amazing team.

Within weeks that lawyer was able to get me a financial settlement of $4000.00, payable immediately.  No long drawn out court hearings, just done…just like that.  And my son’s dad also signed away his rights as a father leaving the door open for Gary to be Trevor’s father in every sense.   On March 13th 1983 I picked up a cheque for $4000 from my lawyer’s office.  I went home that Friday night and celebrated with my upstairs neighbour boys by joining them in a game of pool at a local pub.  That night, even though I knew Gary for three months already, I had an inkling that that boy might be decent marriage material!  I turned out to be correct and we married in December 1984.

Student loan paid off, husband secured, and later my goals continued to grow with me.  At the peak of my career I was earning $125,000 while managing a successful employment agency.  I literally have about 15 years of post secondary education behind me due to my goal setting ways.  This from a grade 9 drop out, unwed mother.

I have added to Doctor Tom’s Recipe for Setting Successful Goals by incorporating them into all of my hypnotherapy treatments with clients.  But you don’t need a hypnotherapist to set and achieve your goals.

For self hypnosis treatments put yourself in a meditative state the way you normally do.   Imagine. sense, feel, emotionalize what you want to manifest in your life.  You have successfully hypnotized your mind to achievement!

Statistics say only 5% of the population actually sits down and writes goals. But stats also say that 72% of people who write goals achieve their target. Can you imagine how much further you can go if you add visualizing and emotionalizing your success?  Here are some tips to make sure your goal setting has the added advantage of Dr. Tom’s that helped me all of those years ago.

  1. Write your goals in an order of preference under categories. i.e: Financial, Career, Relationships, Educational, and so on.
  2. Be specific.  How much money do you need and by when?  How much weight do you want to lose and what will you weigh then?  What size clothes would you fit into?  What character traits do you most prefer in a husband (or wife?).  Get very specific for easier imagining.
  3. Now that you have your goals on paper, and you are specific to what and when you want what you want, it’s time to start your mental treatments for success.  Find a quiet place to relax in a comfortable chair or bed.  Close your eyes and gently allow all distracting thoughts to leave you.  Imagine a place in your mind where you are in control of everything.  You can make stuff up.  In your secret place where everything is possible pretend, sense, imagine you are already a success.  Your goal is achieved.  What would that be like for you? What would you look like?  What would you feel like?  Sense it, be it, have it.
  4. Continue to imagine what it would look, taste, smell, and feel like to achieve your goals and watch your new life unfold before your eyes.

How it works I am not sure.  I just know that whenever I take the time to improve myself by setting goals good things have a way of manifesting.  I encourage anyone reading this try setting goals for 2016.  It could change everything for your family, the way goal setting changed my life all of those years ago in the basement of a church.

Goals

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist working out of the Family Wellness Centre in West Kelowna, BC.  She is one of the most called upon hypnotherapists for relief of depression, anxiety, and grief.  After Cherylann lost her only child to a car accident in 2003, life took a serious turn for the worse.  Once again, however, Cherylann has been able to build herself back up and now spends her life and career helping others achieve their goals.

 

 

 

 

 

When Will We Learn?

Miracles of the Spirit

In my early career I was an instructor and branch manager for a large government contract career centre in Vancouver, BC, servicing employable people who happened to be on income assistance.  Our mandate was to design, develop and deliver life and employment skills people who were collecting welfare.

This type of business was and continues to be popular because kids who fall short in our current educational system often grow up to be a huge expense to our government in the social services, mental health and criminal justice systems.  Health is also affected when we lack life skills as stress is proven to attack our bones, muscles and organs.

I suggest we change two fundamental areas of the current curriculum requirements:  Add life skills and forget about the 12 grade tier completely. Throw away the current status quo since it creates such a stressful environment for children who do not succeed…

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When Will We Learn?

In my early career I was an instructor and branch manager for a large government contract career centre in Vancouver, BC, servicing employable people who happened to be on income assistance.  Our mandate was to design, develop and deliver life and employment skills people who were collecting welfare.

This type of business was and continues to be popular because kids who fall short in our current educational system often grow up to be a huge expense to our government in the social services, mental health and criminal justice systems.  Health is also affected when we lack life skills as stress is proven to attack our bones, muscles and organs.

I suggest we change two fundamental areas of the current curriculum requirements:  Add life skills and forget about the 12 grade tier completely. Throw away the current status quo since it creates such a stressful environment for children who do not succeed in all subjects all of the time.

Leaving social training up to parents isn’t working.

Sadly but realistically many parents lack life skills and pass down their ignorance to their children.  There is no point in blaming as all of our coping and life skills are mainly ‘unintentionally’ learned as families blindly struggle to exist without a map to follow.

So we need an overhaul of the entire philosophy and delivery of how we civilize society in a fair system that suits all styles of learning, talents, gifts, and shortcomings.   Only, they won’t be looked at as failures anymore — we will have a system where kids can find a path that does work for them.

Example of Life Skills Classes, Suggested Beginning at Age Two:

Hard Life Skills

  • Nutrition
  • Earth Food Production (Gardening)
  • Personal Hygiene
  • Housework Skills (Time for everyone to be responsible for their home environment don’t you think?)
  • Fine and Gross Motor Skills Development (I.E. skills to use every day electronics & physical fitness)
  • Creative Mind Development
  • Logical Mind Development

Soft Life Skills

  • Self Respect
  • Sharing
  • Stress Management
  • Boundaries
  • Personal Protection (Abuse)
  • Communication Skills
  • Time Management
  • Personal Responsibility & Accountability
  • Problem Solving
  • Talent Investigation 

Of course my ideas are not perfect but I suggest we stop focusing on what our children’s perceived ‘weaknesses’ are compared to the masses and find and develop what their strengths are.  A system that advances the student to their official educational program after they have completed foundations for life training.  We need a flexible system where we learn curriculum designed to suit our talents, personality, intelligence, and emotional I.Q.  Doesn’t this make better sense?  

If we are to follow the same rules and regulations out there in the world we need to teach life skills early on and no longer assume all families teach their young way we want our fellow beings to behave around us.  I also happen to think all parents could use some parenting education but that’s another blog!

Why a new solution has not been delivered yet is beyond me.   In my experience too many people are thinking and believing they are stupid or do not measure up somehow because they did not succeed in the current ridged structure that doesn’t encourage individualism.

Imagine how much better society would be if all children learned social skills before they become social problems.  What would it be like for our children in school if they were allowed to develop their innate talents and passions?

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim., CH,t

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Why Would You Want To Change The Child- (1)

Fear and Anxiety Resolved – Try This!

Most of us are aware of anxiety attacks and understand they can be life debilitating.  Sensations of panic will come out of the blue and paralyze the body, scramble the mind, even stifle the lungs or throat.  I know exactly what it feels like to hold up an entire air ambulance because even though I was drugged to the hilt with pain and anxiety medication (I was suffering a burst tubal pregnancy) I could not get inside that little aircraft due to a panic attack.  The medics finally had to knock me out with a strong sleeping drug and even still I was awake and panicking inside – I just couldn’t move my body for the drugs.   I held up another airplane a few years later in Cozumel, Mexico due to panic.  It’s embarrassing and keeps many good people stuck in their homes like prisoners if the solution is not found.

What causes this?  There could be a number of reasons for panic or anxiety attacks, including a ‘unconscious knowing’ of something a person is unwilling to bring up to the conscious. Other sensitive souls pick up the energy (moods) of others and feel those moods like it is their own, causing unconscious confusion leading to anxiety.  There are a few shaky ones who are intuitively psychic and just don’t know it.  But the most common cause of panic is the imagination.  Our imaginations get us into trouble because as a species we tend to believe external mental conditioning and take on false belief systems that work against the person’s true journey.  As a species we lie to ourselves, make up stuff that can be just the craziest idea but accepted as truth, and literally make the mind and body feel sick simply because the imagination is feeding false information to the unconscious.  Our unconscious mind knows and remembers everything – but it does not know the difference between fantasy and reality thoughts – and will accept anything you tell it and respond accordingly.  Intuitively.  Unconsciously our bodies are going to react to what the critical conscious mind is telling it.  Anxiety that occurs the first time can lead to a lifetime of difficulties if not dealt with early.  

It is Not Hopeless!  Try this one technique at home –

If you suffer with a specific anxiety attack (public speaking, airplanes, driving) before you venture outside take a moment to close your eyes and visualize with your mind’s eye doing all you want to do and get done. Creatively sense yourself being calm, confident, and in control as you amaze your audience with your speech, or fly in that airplane, or drive over that bridge.  Use your senses (auditory, visual, feeling, tasting, and smelling) in your imagination pretend vision.  In other words, using only your imagination map out your feared event as if you are already doing it successfully!

This easy exercise only takes a few moments and is amazing in its treatment for many types of anxiety.  The mind needs to be fit – to be harnessed, happy, healthy.  Hypnosis works with the mind by using the right hemisphere where emotions, ideas, and creative imagination are held.  Just practicing this deliberate visualization can improve all areas of your life.  In our culture the right brain has been neglected. We are trained from grade one to focus on left brain logic, memory, order.  If we do not work with the other part of ourselves we can become unaware of why are bodies and minds are ‘off balance.’  We are all guilty of using our imaginations to scare ourselves senseless – it is the culprit that gets the body into trouble, and the imagination is what will restore the sensory balance for physical and mental relief.

Some people who suddenly feel anxious due to an accident or event can have their problem cured in one session. Others have more work to do but a full recovery is expected. Hypnotherapy is an empowerment and self-control tool for life.  It is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works!   If you are interested in having help with your anxiety we welcome enquiries.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim,CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist Registered with the Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She works out of West Kelowna, British Columbia passionately working with issues such as depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and abandonment.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are also amazing mental fitness processes to lose weight, stop smoking, and tackle any habit the beholder wants to be rid of.  Please see our website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca AND like us on Facebook FOR DAILY INSPIRATION!  http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy .  Shares, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! xxoo

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