Holistic Mental Health Practitioner Bashes Medical Treatment of Women and Other Right-Brain Oriented People.

I notice a disturbing pattern emerging when it comes to mental illness and women.  First, the current system seems to be creating even more sickness and suicide for the multitudes and masses, which conflicts with my good senses of what a medical community should be doing for the betterment of society. Second, I believe the cause of so much unhappiness has little to do with illness, and more to do with oppression of right brain talents and resources.

I know what wonderful and miraculous things can happen when creative folks are allowed to express themselves exactly how they are without having to compare their gifts to left brain oriented counterparts.  I see women and men regain self-esteem very quickly with just learning a few new ideas for WHY they may be feeling so mentally sick other than what they are being told by doctors and pharmaceutical commercials.

What if mental illness is really an unconscious reaction to bullshit?  

Why does it seem like more women than men are ‘crazy?’ How come no one ever asks how to cure mental illness and seem perfectly happy accepting drugs as the solution to unconscious despair?  Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand what is real according to Wikipedia.  Whose real?  How come in many eastern countries schizophrenia folks are used as ‘wise men and women’ who have great insight to things most people cannot see?   These are just a few questions I have after years of living my life as a woman in a society that insists my body and mind must work like the male ones or I am ‘abnormal.’  I believe women (and men) are brainwashed into believing how they are supposed to feel and be, because it works better for someone else.

Imagine a world that nourishes, respects, and even admires women for their physiological differences?  How much better can civilization be with a ‘feminine’ balance to masculine values?  I wonder if one would feel mental in a world of left brain folks if they thought their right brains mattered too?

Women have been traditionally ‘known’ to be the crazy ones at home, work, and in the psyche wards. What if ‘mental illness’ is really ‘right brain intelligence neglect?’  We live in a left brain world where conditioning and development is almost entirely based on preferences of logic and order.  It all starts in grade one.  Everything one needs to know about the right brain is apparently learned by Kindergarten because that is when the imagination part of us begins to get stifled, shut down and shut up to make room for academics.  Sure we have some music and art classes available to help students along, but mostly we will find left brain activities of memory development, algebra, and even sports as the preferred activities, and this is about as interesting as going to the dentist all day long for some people and so problems ensue when one does not live up to the expectations of the educational system we have available.

Soon we may wonder what is wrong with girls who suffer in math or boys who disrupt procedures in the class.  Why is everyone else going to school like good little boys and girls, but others are simply not fitting in, and ‘failing?’  Many children are now being labeled as diseased in some way, mentally if they do not keep up with the way things are.  It’s becoming ridiculous to me to see so many children and adults drugged and put away for life with a label of mental illness because we do not care to look deeper.

Displaced children grow up with thoughts of inadequacy, not belonging, and no voice. Powerlessness in a system that actually works against the amazing minds of right brain thinkers creates so much turmoil a person can hardly cope after a while.  Soon the person may begin to shut themselves down in fear of their own differences.

Mental illness can feel debilitating.  There is no sense of self power or control when one is hidden under blankets day in and day out with the television blaring in the background to drown out the destructive thoughts. Drugs, alcohol or food are often introduced to cut the incessant misery sense.  What about anxiety?  What a nightmare that is when they suddenly have an inability to breathe while driving, or in a public place.  What is the answer we have for these suffering souls?  Ativan, Xanax, Clonazapam.  Imagine what it might be like to feel worthless, unlovable, wants to give up, and die.  Suicide has become so epidemic it is now the number one killer of our youth — more than accidents and murder put together.

Whatever we are doing to help mentally ill and addicted people does not seem to be working.  In fact, it is making things much worse.

People are dying in record numbers by their own hand!

What if the problem isn’t mental illness, rather mental deprivation of the senses which can be restored with a little bit of attention to the real problems in society?

Are you ready for a new perspective on that ever so popular DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual that every doctor in North America refers to as a bible of sorts when deciding what is wrong with women medically, when it comes to mental symptoms?

If someone’s answer to our problems makes a little bit of sense we may inadvertently buy into horrible permanent life decisions for temporary emotional relief.  Vulnerable folks are easily convinced on the idea there is something wrong with their biology because nothing else seems to make sense in their world.  The so-called science about Serotonin being discovered as the culprit to mental illness is still being passed around as truth. Just Google, “Serotonin Lie” and see what you find. Every day we are seeing cases of pharmaceutical marketing literally driving people completely away from themselves and their own good senses and on drugs actually designed to inhibit the life of the right brain!

If anyone tells me I have an incurable mental or physical illness you better believe I need to see the blood work or x-ray to prove that today.  No longer do I take the word of someone who cannot possibly understand my world as they figure I may have a biological problem, rather than something else going on.  For mental illness no evidence of chemistry sickness exists even though people believe this to be the case.  Sometimes a confused doctor will say no one really knows what causes mental illness so it could be DNA genetically passed down with no reason at all.

Perhaps. Maybe not.  My clients tell me they get tired of doctors guessing treatment until the right drug is discovered by accident.  Stuffing symptoms with mind altering chemicals makes as much sense as someone taking a pain medication for a physical reason forever, doesn’t it?  It should be RARE not the common practice to offer life time brain-pain medication.

When can we find out why people feel mental?  For some it is simply easier to pack it in and be sick with permission from the system.  Many women agree to be mental so they can have a government sponsored disability income in a corporate society that offers a fraction of work income and benefits their left brain brothers are earning.  We have made women responsible for everything to do with the family, accountable for keeping everything together without assistance from a wayward spouse, and then pay her peanuts when she needs to work to put food in the kids mouths.  I’d rather go on mental disability, thanks.  It is all about survival and women will do what they must to keep going; some are brilliant at working the system that tries to keep them powerless, afraid, and ashamed.  You go girl!

Isn’t it time to fix the problem before life is completely wasted away?  I hear time and time again, “My depression keeps me stuck. I am anxious and stressed about everything. I have a feeling like I don’t belong somehow.  I don’t matter.  Everyone walks all over me. I am too sensitive.  There is something wrong with me. I can’t get along with the people everyone else gets along with, and, I can’t seem to learn the way everyone else is learning.”

Seeing things with new eyes

Let’s take a look at some of the labels the DSM and current traditional medicine in a new light, and I’ll suggest an alternative option for rescue and recovery for each ‘disease’ as listed:

Depression — Lives in the past.  Often caused by a serious denial of self-love, a traumatic event, or conditioned feelings of powerlessness.  The depressed person is often brainwashed to believe they are financially needy or dependant in an unhealthy relationship they feel they must have for survival.  Unconscious self anger results in confusion. Wrongful thoughts become so debilitating the body lives in a constant state of tension, pain and exhaustion.

Rescue and Recovery — Get out of the environment and find a place to re-group – alone. Figure out why you have taken over the emotional abuse (in thought) and learn how to retrain your thinking and imagination to the satisfaction of your spirit.  Stop looking at the problem and begin wondering about solutions for your own comfort, peace, and happiness. Find a way to matter to you.  Your gift, the right brain (imagination), has infinite ideas, start looking there.  Even more importantly, find a way to not need someone else for survival as that kind of relationship can turn you into a miserable slave working against your own life.  Chronic unhappiness is a clue something is wrong in LEARNED THINKING.

Make a new life plan when you are up to it.  Women don’t get defeated overnight and it will take some time to regain self, but you can count on a right brain woman to find a way to get the job done if she is interested in a better life.

Anxiety — Lives in the future.  Severe fear to believe in self.  Unconscious screaming, “Something is wrong!  Fix it!” We are finding that anxious people are so intuitive and powerful when we sense a conflict of conscious thinking to unconscious knowing it can feel like one is losing touch with reality.  And you are.  Intuit can hardly stand self-denial and unconscious will create sensations of panic when we do not listen to our own infinite wisdom about the present.

Rescue and Recovery — Dare to look at what scares you, really.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy work miracles for the anxious because in treatment they actually figure out for themselves how to listen and obey  their own inner voice, and the answers feel like amazing empowerment for better living.  100% recovery is not only possible, it is probable for those who believe they can be healed.  Sadly most people are unaware of recovery and end up drinking or drugging the right brain sensations instead, all the way to institution and death as we are seeing in epidemic proportions.  Get to the root of the anxiety for complete recovery of life.  If anxiety based on a recent traumatic experience is the only problem it can be cured in one simple hypnosis session.

Bi-Polar Disorder — This requires an entire reexamination on the female anatomy and life experiences.  In many cases the diagnosis is brought on after the ingestion of anti-depressant medication, which is known to create feelings of mania in some people (people who don’t need antidepressants I’m thinking).  As long as the diagnosis and pills are allowed to be handed out recovery is slim to none as the beholder succumbs to living down to the ideals of instability.  The powerful brain drugs that are dispensed under the name of ‘safety’ will kill the spirit eventually, in almost every case.  Until just a few decades ago crazy women use to be given brain surgery (Lobotomy) to remove her emotional being.  I remember a girlfriend’s mother had her emotional response removed (located in the right temple brain) and my friend said she could slap her mother’s face and Mom wouldn’t care. She’d forget about it real soon if she did figure out she was insulted or hurt.

Isn’t that a nice way to live?  The friend said her mother’s emotions were taken out when she was 20 years old after being forced to marry a man twice her age due to pregnancy at 15.  Living now with 4 children in an abusive home it became too much to handle, and so she ‘left’ mentally and almost burned the house down.  This woman was a danger to herself and others.  Police were involved and the husband told the doctors if they didn’t fix his wife he would kill her.  Doctors fixed mom for dad’s better health.  The surgery was done in 1959 and a common practice in the times.  My friend said her mother had two more children and never complained again.  Life was good for everyone…else.

I remember the movie “The Stepford Wives” released in about the 1980’s, and have never quite forgotten at how powerful and mind numbing brainwashing can be when oppressed people are trained to be the servants for others, and no complaining from the wives because their ‘thinking’ belongs to someone else — they believe (consciously) they WANT to live for others.

There are many examples of religions brainwashing the masses into belief systems that utterly ignore female gender brains other than to be used for service.

Unconsciously we may  create mental illness when we deny our own purpose.

Women are being diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder (false, unsubstantiated diagnoses) and those drugs will make the victim not care at all about what was going on within the family, or life.  Be glad we didn’t live in the 1940’s or 50’s where the powerful doctors could have removed your emotions forever without permission.  But they still work to manipulate the mind into thinking we can do without emotions by using right brain stoppers.

Today we have what is called “Chemical Lobotomy’s” in the form of prescription psychiatric medication that anyone can get at any time with the right ‘story.’  Yes, some people need to be put away safely and drugged for better comfort while imprisoned.  I have yet to hear a successfully medicated person living a happy life to old age, there may be a few cases, but they are certainly rare.  Life is never smooth for the chronically mentally ill and so I am suggesting we stop telling people to give up to the illness!

If one believes in psychiatric diagnosis the hope for full life recovery is diminished because there is no solution other than expensive pharmaceuticals that often increase over time.

Little to no effort is given to figure out where the serious mood swings come from other than, “She’s a nut bar for no particular reason.”  Having very little credibility in a world where women use to be considered property of men it isn’t too difficult to believe she is not worth saving if she isn’t taking care of everyone else the way she is supposed to be.  I am not being negative here, it is time to look at some truth and let’s investigate these alarming throw away people whom I no longer believe were “born insane.”  I witness full recovery of mental people who decide to forsake the others to save themselves.

Rescue and recovery — Figure out for yourself if you have a serious life threatening mental illness, or may have been wrongly perceived through the eyes of someone else.  I am telling people without hesitation today to really check out the facts of the case before giving up as a mentally unstable person for life.  See my next blog where I will outline many amazing women who were able to rise above their traditional roles and make remarkable contributions to society after being labeled ‘fruit cakes’ with no credible value their entire lives.  These women are proof enough for me that anyone can escape oppression – and the mental illness philosophies that are keeping female oppression alive.

ADHD — Disruptive problem child who cannot concentrate or stay focused.  A right brain oriented (more often male) bored to the core with the left brain training in the education system.  Needs right brain stimuli and acceptance of the difference.  She or he often has spiritual sensations and intelligence beyond the imagination.  If allowed to develop naturally in any creative realm we will witness this child later change the world with their amazing creative brains.  The greatest inventors and genius ones can be labeled as ADD or ADHD.  Albert Einstein had early childhood learning and behavior problems in school but his mother never told him about the nasty report cards about how he was a dummy in the eyes of the school.  Good thing, right?

Rescue and Recovery — If a child is unhappy in his or her learning environment find one that works.  I understand not all parents can afford special education for their amazing child but if you create some questions with right brain imagination the left brain will find a way.  Be willing to see there is a problem underneath the child’s acting out behavior.  Understand children may only be negatively reacting to an intolerable learning environment.  It is important to believe your own eyes when it comes to your child.  If they didn’t act up at home then it is coming from someplace else.

Borderline Personality Disorder — The list of ‘symptoms’ in the DSM for this label is far removed from truth.  They say she is a trouble maker, instigator, and drama queen.  She is known for making up stories about good people and are unbelievable with their accusations.  Freud diagnosed sexually abused girls who acted out as having fantasies about their fathers, living in an alternate reality.  Can you imagine being molested and then told you are making it up?  By respected science?  Imagine being shamed to tears in a court full of disbeliever’s with suspicious ‘allegations’ of sexual abuse.  Ignorance continues with dismissive thoughts as women continue to live without validation of horrific experiences while being re-victimized in the circuits (circus?) of the justice system.

This unlikable ‘borderline’ creature is a truth teller.  She likely speaks up poorly because she has no idea how to articulate her needs since her needs don’t matter to anyone, anyway.  In this woman’s story she is rarely validated with her thinking — and this can lead to feelings of internal rage.  Like a volcano about to erupt the emotional pain is felt deeply.  Listen, people do not like the truth.  Truth can be too uncomfortable to even glance at, and so it is easier to sacrifice the life of a truthfully outspoken woman who already feels powerless than it is to investigate the truth she is trying to educate the world with eyes, ears and feelings wide open.

Keep in mind I do believe there is ‘real’ Borderline (Borderline Psychopath) people who have little or no feelings of fear, guilt, shame.  I am suggesting professional opinions by mental health humans are fantasies made up to make the person feel she is okay being nuts because others are crazy just like her; see the list of symptoms?  That’s the proof they have when they want someone to believe they are unstable people.  The problem is you can show a list of anything to anyone and they will find a place of belonging if it reaches a need of the patient to be heard in some way.  Any way.

Rescue and Recovery — She is on her own.  People are unwilling to believe in the imagination of a BPD and there is no help in the current system other than drugs, but odds are she will refuse to take them and go on suffering without love or acceptance for herself.  If you have been reduced this kind of judgemental diagnosis you must take back your own control.  Find a way to love every part of you, even the difficult parts you’ve been trained to hate too.  Practice speaking up and teaching people new ways to treat you.  If you cannot find a way on your own reach out for help to build your confidence and self-esteem.   An entirely new way to look at yourself is required because somehow mental conditioning growing up taught you self-doubt all the way to self-hatred like everyone else who does not like your ‘truth.’ BPD must learn to set boundaries about how they are viewed and treated by others.

Postpartum Depression — A mental condition only given to women who gave birth and yet adoptive mothers suffer with this so-called mental illness as well.  Once again chemistry imbalance is blamed.  Real cause is extreme mental exhaustion and depletion of the senses with increased life responsibilities.  A new 24 hour clock to live by alone can make one sick.  Mother often has to concern herself about work and finances as well as carry the weight of managing the baby, house, and everyone else’s feelings but her own.  Unconscious doesn’t like self-neglect yet the well-trained conscious mind says she is not enough if she complains.  Having to be super-human leads to collapse eventually.

Rescue and Recovery — Throw away the idea you must be all and do all at your own expense. Demand help and don’t feel guilt or shame while doing so.  It takes two to bring a child into the world, not just one.  As long as a woman believes she must keep up with impossible demands she will, until she cracks completely in some cases.  Self care is needed if no one else seems to.  Don’t be a victim, be in charge!

PreMenstrual Syndrome (PMS) — Mental disease caused by cramping and discomfort during monthly cycle of a woman.  Too often something is very wrong in the organs of female anatomy and pain goes undiagnosed due to ignorance and lack of understanding and research.  In addition to medical doctors unable to find a suitable solution for this very real problem.  Employers are allowed to show no mercy or tolerance for the different biological make-up of female staff and provide nothing to assist in the need for some accommodation.  Women have been conditioned to not speak of their ‘problem’ and is often shamed into silence for her ‘difference to men’ and can feel irritable because unconscious Intuit (one’s truth) will respond negatively to the thought she deserves to live in shame and pain.

Rescue and recovery — The shaming of physiological differences to men needs to be replaced with empathy (most of the rule makers are males who would never be able understand the unique needs of women – and so need to be educated).  If no one else cares about your pain, YOU must care and take care of yourself in whatever way makes you most comfortable and happy.  Use the right brain to imagine ideas for making yourself feel better during this time, and the left brain will find a way to make it happen for you.  Two brains work together like magic when you believe in both of them!

Addiction — Inability to live sober in a world that seems upside down.  At first some comfort is felt in the indulgence of drugs or alcohol, but after a while that right brain is going to reject that solution and create all sorts of added problems to the life.

Rescue and Recovery — First, get rid of any notion you are powerless.  Find a way to believe in yourself and ability to control anything.  Fill your imagination with thoughts of strength and empowerment.  Addiction is self suicide, start recovery by figuring out why your life doesn’t seem to matter to you.  There is a ‘learned’ reason.

The Intuit doesn’t like slavery.  We are born free to survive, and thrive.  However the best part of us (right brain imagination) goes unconsciously hay-wire when neglected and made to feel needy and dependent on others for survival.  Dependency for happiness is simply not healthy for anyone.

I write this article to beg you to reconsider what might be really going on in society that is creating so much suffering and pain for women and children, and many men.  Can we reframe this whole ‘women are crazy thing’ just for giggles and see if we can’t come up with a better solution to mental illness?  How about we change everything right here and now instead of packing it in with acceptance of emotional torture and drugs?

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are an amazing therapy for self-actualization.  It helps one open the eyes to what the problem is, and how to find solutions to obtain happiness, peace of mind, and a comfortable sense of being.  Control becomes possible when we believe in it for ourselves.

I have a feeling mental illness will be replaced with new exciting possibilities for all of us if we dare to allow all people the right to think the way they are born to think, not the way we want them to be for the better lives of everyone else.

Right brain can create a good or bad life.  In spite of what we have been told about the imagination, why not deliberately go into the mind’s eye and use it to make yourself well again?  “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Said respected philosopher and writer,  Napoleon Hill.

Find a creative outlet you enjoy.  Colour with crayons, engage a craft you wouldn’t mind spending hours doing, learn a new art that fascinates you, listen to or play music, read or write.  Intuit feels happy and peaceful while creating so if you are fortunate enough to work in a right brain occupation your life will be much happier.

Remember when you were a small child you use to play ‘pretend’ with the imagination, before that got all cancelled in school norms — why not go back and play pretend about retraining your own mental thinking.  Imagine you are amazing for a change.  Fake you matter if you think you don’t.  Your unconscious and body will respond with love!

Believe in your own eyes, ears, and feelings.  You wouldn’t eat something that smelled or tasted bad because the senses are connected to the unconscious part that will wake up in the event of a bad food.  Learn to trust all of your own good senses!  Just because a story makes sense (fantasies of someone else are only true if you buy into that line of thought) does not make it your truth.  Some people are trained very well to not say a word about their own truth to protect someone else.  Others know how to manipulate the sensitive’s senses for their own selfish needs and gratification.  They use emotional manipulation of shaming, fear, guilt, and even anger to get what they want from a person who feels weak or vulnerable.

Stop Waiting and Start Creating

Hopelessness is bound to set in when we deny our own value and existence.  Isn’t it time to wonder why so many mental cases are ending up sicker than ever with the current mental health treatment of people?  Perhaps women need to put their intuition and imaginations to work on how to educate and articulate what we know, but do not get to say out loud?  Maybe some men who understand their own right brain intelligence will feel safer if they too are allowed to be whom they are innately.

When the left and right brain are allowed to work together as equal partners miracles happen.  When only one side of the brain is developed the sense of mental imbalance is the result.  We are literally working with half a brain.

*Mental illness can be a serious condition that is passed onto children as they watch, listen and learn how to cope from parents.  Please find a way to rescue and recovery if you have a little bit of hope left in you.  At the end of the day, only you really can change anything and it takes a belief there is better waiting as soon as you ask for more.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist in the Okanagan Valley specializing in hypnosis for mental health, addictions, and spiritual identity.  She has lived an amazing life of ups and downs beyond normal.  This practitioner herself was raised in an abusive home taking on abusive self-thinking, and later experienced the extreme life trauma of losing her only beloved son to a car accident.  Time and time again Cherylann found a way to rise above adversity and uses herself as a positive example of recovery using the wonders of right brain love, honour and development.

Please check out her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca and like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

 

Stop WaitingStart Creating (1)

 

 

 

 

Relax!

How would you like to discover your own internal mental resources to change any behaviour you want, while in your pajama’s, in bed?
The most successful inventors have vivid imaginations.  If you can meditate you can hypnotize yourself to make anything mental or emotional work for you!  Here is a self-hypnotic induction that is safe, lovely, and effective with practice:
Before you begin have a goal in mind on what symptom you want to overcome. Just one focus is best for starters.
  1. Conduct any typical meditation to relax your body deeply from head to toe while laying down on sofa or bed with comfortable pillows.
  1. Clear your mind by pretending to put worries, thoughts, mind chatter into a container, put a lid on it, and kick it over a cliff!
  1. Imagine yourself going down down and down, like in an elevator (counting down helps).
  1. When you know your body is deeply relaxed, heavy, doesn’t want to move for a while… you can begin to open your right brain (imagination, pretend part) for change.
  1. Still using your minds’ eye create an image of what mental symptoms you want gone and imagine yourself free of the problem. Like watching a movie or pictures you can sense, pretend, imagine…and make your image as vivid as possible. Face the situation as if you are really there. Now the fun begins!
  1. Pretend you don’t have the issue anymore and while visualizing this, monitor your feelings and adjust them so that you are no longer afraid, or anxious even as you are there right now.
  1. If you have difficulty conjuring up pictures in your imagination pretend you can see them like memories of things you have seen in the past. Memories (good and bad) make the most powerful images for us so please ensure you conjure up only the best, happiest, memories of the past. We do enough bringing up the bad memories in that part of our brain on our own which led to unhealthy symptoms to begin with in most cases.

To illustrate, if you want to lose weight take yourself into meditation, begin to imagine yourself in the size and weight that you want to be. Pretend you are already that weight and put on all sorts of clothes to show off your body in your minds eye. See yourself at work, at home, naked. Deliberately tell yourself you are fit and love your body (every time you hear yourself say, “I am fat” or something to that effect deliberately change it to, “My body is amazing.” We use our negative imagination to create horrible images of ourselves and this is a good opportunity to turn that around by doing the opposite in your mind.

Folks tend to spend a lot of time in the imagination – but not in a good way.  Deliberately change your own mental images and begin manifesting new outcomes.

Wash away old conditioning, rinse and repeat and you will find your new behaviors unfold without even thinking about it. People who undergo hypnotherapy eventually find old negative thoughts and emotions are replaced with feelings of confidence, control, and peace of mind. It becomes a new unconscious way of thinking and feeling, and these new sensations will transform you into wanting to engage in new healthier behaviors and eating habits.

From within, so is without!

Do you like the information in this post?  Please share with your friends!

Change Happens

 

A Love Story About Goal Setting

I first learned about goal setting in a little basement church one Wednesday night in December 1982.  Dr. Tom Hopper was a guest speaker for my progressive church’s Wednesday night bible study.  What an amazing man as he was my first teacher about the power of our imaginations.

I was a single parent of a four year old boy, working for $900 a month as an office clerk, just above minimum wage at the time.  I worked on the weekends at a pub as a waitress.  I went to school on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  I had no family support or baby father to help with my load. What was killing me was the student loan of $4000 I had to pay. $100 every month ate away my measly earnings.  When I went about setting my goals the way Dr. Hopper suggested the first thing on my list under ‘financial’ was to pay off my student loan by March.  I also was ready to meet a real father for my son.  I set March for that as well. What the hell, right?

It seemed ridiculous.  The good doctor said to be specific in your goals, exactly how much money do you want, what kind of man do you want to meet.  The more detail the better he suggested.

How on earth I could reach such huge goals in three months made no sense to me, so after I did his secret ‘treatment’ for reaching the goals I put the piece of paper with my goals on it away in a drawer and forgot about it.

In January I was horrified to learn that my landlord was moving out and he had rented the upper suite to three young men.   My landowners were an East Indian family who often babysat for me when I worked on the weekends so the idea of having a bunch of men living above me now was hard to cope with.  I was a very mature 23, they were 20 and 21 with sports cars and it was their first time away from home.  I was driving a rust riddled green Maveric and had no extra money for skiing at Whistler or Blackcomb, the way they invited me so many times.  These decent but young guys liked the Who and other non-country music, were recent college graduates and all working one job during the week and free to do whatever they wanted the rest of the time.  Not my life at the time.

While I ended up enjoying cooking for the boys, and they fixed my broken down car more than once, I had no time or money for their party-time lifestyle.  While I was friendly they were much younger than myself emotionally.  Except Gary.  Gary was different.  He recently graduated from electrical engineering at BCIT and already landed a job working on main-frame computers for a large computer company.  He carried a brown briefcase to work everyday, and wore a tie.   He also gave all of his childhood Lego to my son who was very fond of the toys.  I was a little concerned because Gary gave the Lego up in organized by colour little boxes within a big box.  I knew my Trevor would have that Lego all mixed up in one big box in no time.

So they were different, but a good match as it turned out that later Gary would be my son’s father, baseball and soccer coach, and Cub and Scout leader.  A good man, husband and father.  Until March of that year however I had no idea I would consider one of the guys upstairs a potential husband!   Something happened in March that made me look at him differently, and the rest was a 25 year marriage.  Goal #1 – Check.

The other thing that happened that March is just as amazing after I set those goals and did the treatment.  I had this student loan I was paying every month, and so I made a financial goal of $4000.00 to be in my hands by March to free up more income for me, and give me credit for future student loans.

What happened next in how I was able to pay off that first student loan that March was nothing short of a miracle to me.  My baby’s father was free from having to pay child support because back in the day if the mother does not sue for child support within the first year of the child’s life the mother is not able to go after him later.  There is one loop-hole.  If the father is ever in contact with the child the time starts ticking for another year.  It was just by happenchance that for some reason the father got in touch with me for once in apparent concern for his son.  He took us shopping for groceries and gave me a cheque for $30.00.  This was a sign of paternal responsibility in the courts of law (we didn’t have DNA back then so women had a heck of a time getting help from deadbeat fathers).

I wasn’t a student of criminology yet but I knew I had to take my evidence to a lawyer right away.   There was no legal aid so I wondered how I could work this out.   Again, another coinkydink that made this goal become a reality: I was friends with a social worker who knew my pathetic income and was able to maneuver me a ministry legal team who worked on behalf of the Ministry of Human Resources as social services were called at the time.  I was somehow eligible for this amazing team.

Within weeks that lawyer was able to get me a financial settlement of $4000.00, payable immediately.  No long drawn out court hearings, just done…just like that.  And my son’s dad also signed away his rights as a father leaving the door open for Gary to be Trevor’s father in every sense.   On March 13th 1983 I picked up a cheque for $4000 from my lawyer’s office.  I went home that Friday night and celebrated with my upstairs neighbour boys by joining them in a game of pool at a local pub.  That night, even though I knew Gary for three months already, I had an inkling that that boy might be decent marriage material!  I turned out to be correct and we married in December 1984.

Student loan paid off, husband secured, and later my goals continued to grow with me.  At the peak of my career I was earning $125,000 while managing a successful employment agency.  I literally have about 15 years of post secondary education behind me due to my goal setting ways.  This from a grade 9 drop out, unwed mother.

I have added to Doctor Tom’s Recipe for Setting Successful Goals by incorporating them into all of my hypnotherapy treatments with clients.  But you don’t need a hypnotherapist to set and achieve your goals.

For self hypnosis treatments put yourself in a meditative state the way you normally do.   Imagine. sense, feel, emotionalize what you want to manifest in your life.  You have successfully hypnotized your mind to achievement!

Statistics say only 5% of the population actually sits down and writes goals. But stats also say that 72% of people who write goals achieve their target. Can you imagine how much further you can go if you add visualizing and emotionalizing your success?  Here are some tips to make sure your goal setting has the added advantage of Dr. Tom’s that helped me all of those years ago.

  1. Write your goals in an order of preference under categories. i.e: Financial, Career, Relationships, Educational, and so on.
  2. Be specific.  How much money do you need and by when?  How much weight do you want to lose and what will you weigh then?  What size clothes would you fit into?  What character traits do you most prefer in a husband (or wife?).  Get very specific for easier imagining.
  3. Now that you have your goals on paper, and you are specific to what and when you want what you want, it’s time to start your mental treatments for success.  Find a quiet place to relax in a comfortable chair or bed.  Close your eyes and gently allow all distracting thoughts to leave you.  Imagine a place in your mind where you are in control of everything.  You can make stuff up.  In your secret place where everything is possible pretend, sense, imagine you are already a success.  Your goal is achieved.  What would that be like for you? What would you look like?  What would you feel like?  Sense it, be it, have it.
  4. Continue to imagine what it would look, taste, smell, and feel like to achieve your goals and watch your new life unfold before your eyes.

How it works I am not sure.  I just know that whenever I take the time to improve myself by setting goals good things have a way of manifesting.  I encourage anyone reading this try setting goals for 2016.  It could change everything for your family, the way goal setting changed my life all of those years ago in the basement of a church.

Goals

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist working out of the Family Wellness Centre in West Kelowna, BC.  She is one of the most called upon hypnotherapists for relief of depression, anxiety, and grief.  After Cherylann lost her only child to a car accident in 2003, life took a serious turn for the worse.  Once again, however, Cherylann has been able to build herself back up and now spends her life and career helping others achieve their goals.

 

 

 

 

 

When Will We Learn?

Mind Miracles Hypnotherapy

In my early career I was an instructor and branch manager for a large government contract career centre in Vancouver, BC, servicing employable people who happened to be on income assistance.  Our mandate was to design, develop and deliver life and employment skills people who were collecting welfare.

This type of business was and continues to be popular because kids who fall short in our current educational system often grow up to be a huge expense to our government in the social services, mental health and criminal justice systems.  Health is also affected when we lack life skills as stress is proven to attack our bones, muscles and organs.

I suggest we change two fundamental areas of the current curriculum requirements:  Add life skills and forget about the 12 grade tier completely. Throw away the current status quo since it creates such a stressful environment for children who do not succeed…

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When Will We Learn?

In my early career I was an instructor and branch manager for a large government contract career centre in Vancouver, BC, servicing employable people who happened to be on income assistance.  Our mandate was to design, develop and deliver life and employment skills people who were collecting welfare.

This type of business was and continues to be popular because kids who fall short in our current educational system often grow up to be a huge expense to our government in the social services, mental health and criminal justice systems.  Health is also affected when we lack life skills as stress is proven to attack our bones, muscles and organs.

I suggest we change two fundamental areas of the current curriculum requirements:  Add life skills and forget about the 12 grade tier completely. Throw away the current status quo since it creates such a stressful environment for children who do not succeed in all subjects all of the time.

Leaving social training up to parents isn’t working.

Sadly but realistically many parents lack life skills and pass down their ignorance to their children.  There is no point in blaming as all of our coping and life skills are mainly ‘unintentionally’ learned as families blindly struggle to exist without a map to follow.

So we need an overhaul of the entire philosophy and delivery of how we civilize society in a fair system that suits all styles of learning, talents, gifts, and shortcomings.   Only, they won’t be looked at as failures anymore — we will have a system where kids can find a path that does work for them.

Example of Life Skills Classes, Suggested Beginning at Age Two:

Hard Life Skills

  • Nutrition
  • Earth Food Production (Gardening)
  • Personal Hygiene
  • Housework Skills (Time for everyone to be responsible for their home environment don’t you think?)
  • Fine and Gross Motor Skills Development (I.E. skills to use every day electronics & physical fitness)
  • Creative Mind Development
  • Logical Mind Development

Soft Life Skills

  • Self Respect
  • Sharing
  • Stress Management
  • Boundaries
  • Personal Protection (Abuse)
  • Communication Skills
  • Time Management
  • Personal Responsibility & Accountability
  • Problem Solving
  • Talent Investigation 

Of course my ideas are not perfect but I suggest we stop focusing on what our children’s perceived ‘weaknesses’ are compared to the masses and find and develop what their strengths are.  A system that advances the student to their official educational program after they have completed foundations for life training.  We need a flexible system where we learn curriculum designed to suit our talents, personality, intelligence, and emotional I.Q.  Doesn’t this make better sense?  

If we are to follow the same rules and regulations out there in the world we need to teach life skills early on and no longer assume all families teach their young way we want our fellow beings to behave around us.  I also happen to think all parents could use some parenting education but that’s another blog!

Why a new solution has not been delivered yet is beyond me.   In my experience too many people are thinking and believing they are stupid or do not measure up somehow because they did not succeed in the current ridged structure that doesn’t encourage individualism.

Imagine how much better society would be if all children learned social skills before they become social problems.  What would it be like for our children in school if they were allowed to develop their innate talents and passions?

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim., CH,t

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Why Would You Want To Change The Child- (1)

Fear and Anxiety Resolved – Try This!

Most of us are aware of anxiety attacks and understand they can be life debilitating.  Sensations of panic will come out of the blue and paralyze the body, scramble the mind, even stifle the lungs or throat.  I know exactly what it feels like to hold up an entire air ambulance because even though I was drugged to the hilt with pain and anxiety medication (I was suffering a burst tubal pregnancy) I could not get inside that little aircraft due to a panic attack.  The medics finally had to knock me out with a strong sleeping drug and even still I was awake and panicking inside – I just couldn’t move my body for the drugs.   I held up another airplane a few years later in Cozumel, Mexico due to panic.  It’s embarrassing and keeps many good people stuck in their homes like prisoners if the solution is not found.

What causes this?  There could be a number of reasons for panic or anxiety attacks, including a ‘unconscious knowing’ of something a person is unwilling to bring up to the conscious. Other sensitive souls pick up the energy (moods) of others and feel those moods like it is their own, causing unconscious confusion leading to anxiety.  There are a few shaky ones who are intuitively psychic and just don’t know it.  But the most common cause of panic is the imagination.  Our imaginations get us into trouble because as a species we tend to believe external mental conditioning and take on false belief systems that work against the person’s true journey.  As a species we lie to ourselves, make up stuff that can be just the craziest idea but accepted as truth, and literally make the mind and body feel sick simply because the imagination is feeding false information to the unconscious.  Our unconscious mind knows and remembers everything – but it does not know the difference between fantasy and reality thoughts – and will accept anything you tell it and respond accordingly.  Intuitively.  Unconsciously our bodies are going to react to what the critical conscious mind is telling it.  Anxiety that occurs the first time can lead to a lifetime of difficulties if not dealt with early.  

It is Not Hopeless!  Try this one technique at home –

If you suffer with a specific anxiety attack (public speaking, airplanes, driving) before you venture outside take a moment to close your eyes and visualize with your mind’s eye doing all you want to do and get done. Creatively sense yourself being calm, confident, and in control as you amaze your audience with your speech, or fly in that airplane, or drive over that bridge.  Use your senses (auditory, visual, feeling, tasting, and smelling) in your imagination pretend vision.  In other words, using only your imagination map out your feared event as if you are already doing it successfully!

This easy exercise only takes a few moments and is amazing in its treatment for many types of anxiety.  The mind needs to be fit – to be harnessed, happy, healthy.  Hypnosis works with the mind by using the right hemisphere where emotions, ideas, and creative imagination are held.  Just practicing this deliberate visualization can improve all areas of your life.  In our culture the right brain has been neglected. We are trained from grade one to focus on left brain logic, memory, order.  If we do not work with the other part of ourselves we can become unaware of why are bodies and minds are ‘off balance.’  We are all guilty of using our imaginations to scare ourselves senseless – it is the culprit that gets the body into trouble, and the imagination is what will restore the sensory balance for physical and mental relief.

Some people who suddenly feel anxious due to an accident or event can have their problem cured in one session. Others have more work to do but a full recovery is expected. Hypnotherapy is an empowerment and self-control tool for life.  It is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works!   If you are interested in having help with your anxiety we welcome enquiries.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim,CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist Registered with the Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She works out of West Kelowna, British Columbia passionately working with issues such as depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and abandonment.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are also amazing mental fitness processes to lose weight, stop smoking, and tackle any habit the beholder wants to be rid of.  Please see our website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca AND like us on Facebook FOR DAILY INSPIRATION!  http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy .  Shares, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! xxoo

mental fitness

EXPOSING THE NARCISSIST

Are you feeling weak, anxious, depressed or stressed for nothing you can put your finger on?  You could be in the orbit of a malignant Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a very real problem in today’s society and these extremely disturbed beholders will create much drama and trauma in the wake of their numerous intimate and social relationships throughout their lifetime.

No matter how smart you are, they have a genius way of making non narcissists feel confused, anxious, and stuck with them.

Sadly, if you have allowed yourself to be victim in the clutches of a narcissist chances are you doubt your own good senses to the point you’ve completely lost your ability to see things objectively.  Truthfully.  I’d like you to remember that you are capable.  You can solve problems.  You are okay but you have got to get away.

Hiding from Truth reduces our natural ability of feeling in control, strong, self-confident and capable.

It is very difficult to recognize the signs of a narcissist until the damage has been done. Please take this article as fair warning.

Narcissists push the buttons of emotionally reactive (normal) people and then watch the drama unfold in glee. This is how they get fed.  They need your emotional energy to survive because they have none.  But even still you will tend to only see the things you have in common.  You have so many things in common because the N will mirror his image for your pleasure until you are sucked right in.  So you want it to work.  Will it to work.  And all too often good folks are willing to give up their very identity in an attempt to make this (hopeless) relationship work until they are bled completely dry.

Symptoms of NPD

Narcissists secretly (sometimes overtly) feel superior to the rest of the general population.  They tend to have a lot of false pride — pride in things they did not earn themselves.  They will be jealous of your success and relationships and create mind-boggling interference (character assassination causing family, employment, or community & social alienation).  Narcissists are often sexually over-active, entitled, demanding, critical of others, and have cold views of people and the world.  N’s see people with feelings as weak, and make delicious meat out of their supply to feed themselves with.  They do not care who their supply is — even their own children are feed for the malignant narcissist vampire; so why do you think they would love you more?

Narcissists are men and women. They are CEO’s of corporations, volunteer or political organizations; they love to manage other people’s money and businesses…and they are heads of families. If they are not the leader they are the sidekick of someone with more standing than themselves in an attempt to morph themselves into the power they crave.

These beings do not seek mental health help (remember there is nothing wrong with them), but they sure can create self-doubt if their victim is not strong enough to ward off such brilliant manipulation.  More often than not the N’s target was already raised by one or more narcissists and find the abusive cycle familiar, comfortable…and so they dive in to the same kind of abusive relationship…again and again and again…until they (we) finally get it.

I was raised by two of them, and one sibling out of four made my life a living hell while I was engaged in co-dependent abusive relationships. I didn’t get it until I lost everything to the whims of the malignant narcissists I grew up with.  I was 50 when my mother died making sure she got the last word, leaving angry and very sad family drama in her wake. I finally see the insanity of my relationship with the narcissist. It can’t work. It is a co-dependent reign of confusion that will never end until one of the two participants finally leaves.

Trouble is, if you are repeatedly hurt and neglected and used and spoken ill of you may attract more of them in your adult years and you tend to stay in longer than is healthy or just go out and find new ones to abuse you.  It is like we become magnets for the same kind of abuse we experienced as younger, impressionable youths.

Who Are the Narcissists!?

Narcissists are your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, best friend, boss, coworker…there is no discrimination to be a narcissist.  NPD is as common as any other labeled mental illness and it is in the DSM as a psychiatric disorder. There are no medications for such a problem, however. The Narcissist lacks conscious feeling and there is no drug or treatment that can grow a conscious feeling from nothing.

Sometimes your narcissist will at first glance appear to be like a knight in shining armor; or a prince or princess charming, if you will. Your own good unconscious mind may pick up that something is wrong right off the bat; maybe you will act on it, but the N will cry, and need you.  Then the old critical conscious mind wins by ignoring those powerful intuitions we are all born with.   Very soon the charismatic mask will slide off and what you will find underneath of your new relationship is about as ugly as it gets.  But by then most long-term sufferers have completely stopped listening to themselves and their own good judgement.

We let the narcissist in and share our secrets, stories, ambitions, and weaknesses.  Ah, the narcissist loves your weaknesses!  When you stop being obedient the N will take your secrets and hold them up to the light of day for everyone to see in an attempt to shame you, guilt you, reduce you in the eyes of others.  The narcissist gets a sick pleasure feeding off of the fears and worries and shames of others.  They will twist your words as they project their own ugly minds on you…as if you think like that.  You don’t.  Trust yourself.  Trust yourself.  Can I say that again?

That’s why I suggest so frequently to not listen to gossip!  If you feed on talk about someone you know nothing about soon you very well could be that mouth’s next target.  You can count on being next.

We have somehow learned to stop listening to our own wise inner selves and sacrifice our emotional well-being as we keep the abusive cycle alive. When we ignore our own Truth we can count on something giving.  Inside of yourself you will create stress, anxiety, depression, drug or alcohol abuse as a way of coping the uncontrollable dance with a malignant narcissist.

It’s Time to Take Control

First, practice trusting your intuition before you trust anyone else.  Next, when you finally come to the realization you are in a dangerous relationship do not confront the narcissist.  It will be like reasoning with their cousin, the serial killing psychopath.  And, it will give them time to find a way to control you even more dangerously.  There is no point to confronting an N at all because they cannot change.  And things can get very very bad for you if you do not make the break quickly and quietly.  Tell a few close friends what is happening before the break.  Protect your good name, children if involved, and assets before you make your escape.

The NPD can destroy your reputation and emotional well-being so masterfully it rarely gets confronted by their active listening audience, or even the supply herself.  You don’t know what the hell is going on so what can you do?  You wonder what is wrong with you and you keep trying to fix yourself to be better.  You never will be good enough as long as you allow creatures like this into your psyche.  I realize we have to live among all people to get along but this is one person you do not want to get too close, or reveal your innermost secrets to.  Not if you don’t want to feel the shame and embarrassment when your personal laundry gets aired out in public later…when you no longer toe the line.

You Are Better Than You Think!

You have the information.  Now it is up to you to give your head a shake and ask yourself if you are the problem, or is someone else making you the problem?  I do not pussyfoot around with aggressive or passive aggressive abusers in my life anymore.  I just cannot afford the risk after already losing everything to the N’s of my past.  Whenever I come in contact with another narcissist (they are in every circle) I run, not walk the other way as fast as I can without causing damage to myself.  If I must be in the company of a narcissist I have a protective bubble all around me as I observe with caution.

Your own intuition will never lead you wrong.  Listen to your good and far wiser Truth and enjoy the freedoms of life you are offered.  Your journey is suppose to be yours without fear, remember that.

Whoever ends the codependent cycle of narcissistic abuse wins.  For your sake and safety, make sure it is you.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist in Westbank BC, specializing in empowering her clients to emotional and mental freedom from abuse and trauma.  Helping her clients face the fear, worry, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, grief, loss and despair is what finally brings her clients peace, strength and a renewed zest for life.   Check out her website and facebook at

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

You Will Never Be Enough