Holistic Mental Health Practitioner Bashes Medical Treatment of Women and Other Right-Brain Oriented People.

I notice a disturbing pattern emerging when it comes to mental illness and women.  First, the current system seems to be creating even more sickness and suicide for the multitudes and masses, which conflicts with my good senses of what a medical community should be doing for the betterment of society. Second, I believe the cause of so much unhappiness has little to do with illness, and more to do with oppression of right brain talents and resources.

I know what wonderful and miraculous things can happen when creative folks are allowed to express themselves exactly how they are without having to compare their gifts to left brain oriented counterparts.  I see women and men regain self-esteem very quickly with just learning a few new ideas for WHY they may be feeling so mentally sick other than what they are being told by doctors and pharmaceutical commercials.

What if mental illness is really an unconscious reaction to bullshit?  

Why does it seem like more women than men are ‘crazy?’ How come no one ever asks how to cure mental illness and seem perfectly happy accepting drugs as the solution to unconscious despair?  Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand what is real according to Wikipedia.  Whose real?  How come in many eastern countries schizophrenia folks are used as ‘wise men and women’ who have great insight to things most people cannot see?   These are just a few questions I have after years of living my life as a woman in a society that insists my body and mind must work like the male ones or I am ‘abnormal.’  I believe women (and men) are brainwashed into believing how they are supposed to feel and be, because it works better for someone else.

Imagine a world that nourishes, respects, and even admires women for their physiological differences?  How much better can civilization be with a ‘feminine’ balance to masculine values?  I wonder if one would feel mental in a world of left brain folks if they thought their right brains mattered too?

Women have been traditionally ‘known’ to be the crazy ones at home, work, and in the psyche wards. What if ‘mental illness’ is really ‘right brain intelligence neglect?’  We live in a left brain world where conditioning and development is almost entirely based on preferences of logic and order.  It all starts in grade one.  Everything one needs to know about the right brain is apparently learned by Kindergarten because that is when the imagination part of us begins to get stifled, shut down and shut up to make room for academics.  Sure we have some music and art classes available to help students along, but mostly we will find left brain activities of memory development, algebra, and even sports as the preferred activities, and this is about as interesting as going to the dentist all day long for some people and so problems ensue when one does not live up to the expectations of the educational system we have available.

Soon we may wonder what is wrong with girls who suffer in math or boys who disrupt procedures in the class.  Why is everyone else going to school like good little boys and girls, but others are simply not fitting in, and ‘failing?’  Many children are now being labeled as diseased in some way, mentally if they do not keep up with the way things are.  It’s becoming ridiculous to me to see so many children and adults drugged and put away for life with a label of mental illness because we do not care to look deeper.

Displaced children grow up with thoughts of inadequacy, not belonging, and no voice. Powerlessness in a system that actually works against the amazing minds of right brain thinkers creates so much turmoil a person can hardly cope after a while.  Soon the person may begin to shut themselves down in fear of their own differences.

Mental illness can feel debilitating.  There is no sense of self power or control when one is hidden under blankets day in and day out with the television blaring in the background to drown out the destructive thoughts. Drugs, alcohol or food are often introduced to cut the incessant misery sense.  What about anxiety?  What a nightmare that is when they suddenly have an inability to breathe while driving, or in a public place.  What is the answer we have for these suffering souls?  Ativan, Xanax, Clonazapam.  Imagine what it might be like to feel worthless, unlovable, wants to give up, and die.  Suicide has become so epidemic it is now the number one killer of our youth — more than accidents and murder put together.

Whatever we are doing to help mentally ill and addicted people does not seem to be working.  In fact, it is making things much worse.

People are dying in record numbers by their own hand!

What if the problem isn’t mental illness, rather mental deprivation of the senses which can be restored with a little bit of attention to the real problems in society?

Are you ready for a new perspective on that ever so popular DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual that every doctor in North America refers to as a bible of sorts when deciding what is wrong with women medically, when it comes to mental symptoms?

If someone’s answer to our problems makes a little bit of sense we may inadvertently buy into horrible permanent life decisions for temporary emotional relief.  Vulnerable folks are easily convinced on the idea there is something wrong with their biology because nothing else seems to make sense in their world.  The so-called science about Serotonin being discovered as the culprit to mental illness is still being passed around as truth. Just Google, “Serotonin Lie” and see what you find. Every day we are seeing cases of pharmaceutical marketing literally driving people completely away from themselves and their own good senses and on drugs actually designed to inhibit the life of the right brain!

If anyone tells me I have an incurable mental or physical illness you better believe I need to see the blood work or x-ray to prove that today.  No longer do I take the word of someone who cannot possibly understand my world as they figure I may have a biological problem, rather than something else going on.  For mental illness no evidence of chemistry sickness exists even though people believe this to be the case.  Sometimes a confused doctor will say no one really knows what causes mental illness so it could be DNA genetically passed down with no reason at all.

Perhaps. Maybe not.  My clients tell me they get tired of doctors guessing treatment until the right drug is discovered by accident.  Stuffing symptoms with mind altering chemicals makes as much sense as someone taking a pain medication for a physical reason forever, doesn’t it?  It should be RARE not the common practice to offer life time brain-pain medication.

When can we find out why people feel mental?  For some it is simply easier to pack it in and be sick with permission from the system.  Many women agree to be mental so they can have a government sponsored disability income in a corporate society that offers a fraction of work income and benefits their left brain brothers are earning.  We have made women responsible for everything to do with the family, accountable for keeping everything together without assistance from a wayward spouse, and then pay her peanuts when she needs to work to put food in the kids mouths.  I’d rather go on mental disability, thanks.  It is all about survival and women will do what they must to keep going; some are brilliant at working the system that tries to keep them powerless, afraid, and ashamed.  You go girl!

Isn’t it time to fix the problem before life is completely wasted away?  I hear time and time again, “My depression keeps me stuck. I am anxious and stressed about everything. I have a feeling like I don’t belong somehow.  I don’t matter.  Everyone walks all over me. I am too sensitive.  There is something wrong with me. I can’t get along with the people everyone else gets along with, and, I can’t seem to learn the way everyone else is learning.”

Seeing things with new eyes

Let’s take a look at some of the labels the DSM and current traditional medicine in a new light, and I’ll suggest an alternative option for rescue and recovery for each ‘disease’ as listed:

Depression — Lives in the past.  Often caused by a serious denial of self-love, a traumatic event, or conditioned feelings of powerlessness.  The depressed person is often brainwashed to believe they are financially needy or dependant in an unhealthy relationship they feel they must have for survival.  Unconscious self anger results in confusion. Wrongful thoughts become so debilitating the body lives in a constant state of tension, pain and exhaustion.

Rescue and Recovery — Get out of the environment and find a place to re-group – alone. Figure out why you have taken over the emotional abuse (in thought) and learn how to retrain your thinking and imagination to the satisfaction of your spirit.  Stop looking at the problem and begin wondering about solutions for your own comfort, peace, and happiness. Find a way to matter to you.  Your gift, the right brain (imagination), has infinite ideas, start looking there.  Even more importantly, find a way to not need someone else for survival as that kind of relationship can turn you into a miserable slave working against your own life.  Chronic unhappiness is a clue something is wrong in LEARNED THINKING.

Make a new life plan when you are up to it.  Women don’t get defeated overnight and it will take some time to regain self, but you can count on a right brain woman to find a way to get the job done if she is interested in a better life.

Anxiety — Lives in the future.  Severe fear to believe in self.  Unconscious screaming, “Something is wrong!  Fix it!” We are finding that anxious people are so intuitive and powerful when we sense a conflict of conscious thinking to unconscious knowing it can feel like one is losing touch with reality.  And you are.  Intuit can hardly stand self-denial and unconscious will create sensations of panic when we do not listen to our own infinite wisdom about the present.

Rescue and Recovery — Dare to look at what scares you, really.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy work miracles for the anxious because in treatment they actually figure out for themselves how to listen and obey  their own inner voice, and the answers feel like amazing empowerment for better living.  100% recovery is not only possible, it is probable for those who believe they can be healed.  Sadly most people are unaware of recovery and end up drinking or drugging the right brain sensations instead, all the way to institution and death as we are seeing in epidemic proportions.  Get to the root of the anxiety for complete recovery of life.  If anxiety based on a recent traumatic experience is the only problem it can be cured in one simple hypnosis session.

Bi-Polar Disorder — This requires an entire reexamination on the female anatomy and life experiences.  In many cases the diagnosis is brought on after the ingestion of anti-depressant medication, which is known to create feelings of mania in some people (people who don’t need antidepressants I’m thinking).  As long as the diagnosis and pills are allowed to be handed out recovery is slim to none as the beholder succumbs to living down to the ideals of instability.  The powerful brain drugs that are dispensed under the name of ‘safety’ will kill the spirit eventually, in almost every case.  Until just a few decades ago crazy women use to be given brain surgery (Lobotomy) to remove her emotional being.  I remember a girlfriend’s mother had her emotional response removed (located in the right temple brain) and my friend said she could slap her mother’s face and Mom wouldn’t care. She’d forget about it real soon if she did figure out she was insulted or hurt.

Isn’t that a nice way to live?  The friend said her mother’s emotions were taken out when she was 20 years old after being forced to marry a man twice her age due to pregnancy at 15.  Living now with 4 children in an abusive home it became too much to handle, and so she ‘left’ mentally and almost burned the house down.  This woman was a danger to herself and others.  Police were involved and the husband told the doctors if they didn’t fix his wife he would kill her.  Doctors fixed mom for dad’s better health.  The surgery was done in 1959 and a common practice in the times.  My friend said her mother had two more children and never complained again.  Life was good for everyone…else.

I remember the movie “The Stepford Wives” released in about the 1980’s, and have never quite forgotten at how powerful and mind numbing brainwashing can be when oppressed people are trained to be the servants for others, and no complaining from the wives because their ‘thinking’ belongs to someone else — they believe (consciously) they WANT to live for others.

There are many examples of religions brainwashing the masses into belief systems that utterly ignore female gender brains other than to be used for service.

Unconsciously we may  create mental illness when we deny our own purpose.

Women are being diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder (false, unsubstantiated diagnoses) and those drugs will make the victim not care at all about what was going on within the family, or life.  Be glad we didn’t live in the 1940’s or 50’s where the powerful doctors could have removed your emotions forever without permission.  But they still work to manipulate the mind into thinking we can do without emotions by using right brain stoppers.

Today we have what is called “Chemical Lobotomy’s” in the form of prescription psychiatric medication that anyone can get at any time with the right ‘story.’  Yes, some people need to be put away safely and drugged for better comfort while imprisoned.  I have yet to hear a successfully medicated person living a happy life to old age, there may be a few cases, but they are certainly rare.  Life is never smooth for the chronically mentally ill and so I am suggesting we stop telling people to give up to the illness!

If one believes in psychiatric diagnosis the hope for full life recovery is diminished because there is no solution other than expensive pharmaceuticals that often increase over time.

Little to no effort is given to figure out where the serious mood swings come from other than, “She’s a nut bar for no particular reason.”  Having very little credibility in a world where women use to be considered property of men it isn’t too difficult to believe she is not worth saving if she isn’t taking care of everyone else the way she is supposed to be.  I am not being negative here, it is time to look at some truth and let’s investigate these alarming throw away people whom I no longer believe were “born insane.”  I witness full recovery of mental people who decide to forsake the others to save themselves.

Rescue and recovery — Figure out for yourself if you have a serious life threatening mental illness, or may have been wrongly perceived through the eyes of someone else.  I am telling people without hesitation today to really check out the facts of the case before giving up as a mentally unstable person for life.  See my next blog where I will outline many amazing women who were able to rise above their traditional roles and make remarkable contributions to society after being labeled ‘fruit cakes’ with no credible value their entire lives.  These women are proof enough for me that anyone can escape oppression – and the mental illness philosophies that are keeping female oppression alive.

ADHD — Disruptive problem child who cannot concentrate or stay focused.  A right brain oriented (more often male) bored to the core with the left brain training in the education system.  Needs right brain stimuli and acceptance of the difference.  She or he often has spiritual sensations and intelligence beyond the imagination.  If allowed to develop naturally in any creative realm we will witness this child later change the world with their amazing creative brains.  The greatest inventors and genius ones can be labeled as ADD or ADHD.  Albert Einstein had early childhood learning and behavior problems in school but his mother never told him about the nasty report cards about how he was a dummy in the eyes of the school.  Good thing, right?

Rescue and Recovery — If a child is unhappy in his or her learning environment find one that works.  I understand not all parents can afford special education for their amazing child but if you create some questions with right brain imagination the left brain will find a way.  Be willing to see there is a problem underneath the child’s acting out behavior.  Understand children may only be negatively reacting to an intolerable learning environment.  It is important to believe your own eyes when it comes to your child.  If they didn’t act up at home then it is coming from someplace else.

Borderline Personality Disorder — The list of ‘symptoms’ in the DSM for this label is far removed from truth.  They say she is a trouble maker, instigator, and drama queen.  She is known for making up stories about good people and are unbelievable with their accusations.  Freud diagnosed sexually abused girls who acted out as having fantasies about their fathers, living in an alternate reality.  Can you imagine being molested and then told you are making it up?  By respected science?  Imagine being shamed to tears in a court full of disbeliever’s with suspicious ‘allegations’ of sexual abuse.  Ignorance continues with dismissive thoughts as women continue to live without validation of horrific experiences while being re-victimized in the circuits (circus?) of the justice system.

This unlikable ‘borderline’ creature is a truth teller.  She likely speaks up poorly because she has no idea how to articulate her needs since her needs don’t matter to anyone, anyway.  In this woman’s story she is rarely validated with her thinking — and this can lead to feelings of internal rage.  Like a volcano about to erupt the emotional pain is felt deeply.  Listen, people do not like the truth.  Truth can be too uncomfortable to even glance at, and so it is easier to sacrifice the life of a truthfully outspoken woman who already feels powerless than it is to investigate the truth she is trying to educate the world with eyes, ears and feelings wide open.

Keep in mind I do believe there is ‘real’ Borderline (Borderline Psychopath) people who have little or no feelings of fear, guilt, shame.  I am suggesting professional opinions by mental health humans are fantasies made up to make the person feel she is okay being nuts because others are crazy just like her; see the list of symptoms?  That’s the proof they have when they want someone to believe they are unstable people.  The problem is you can show a list of anything to anyone and they will find a place of belonging if it reaches a need of the patient to be heard in some way.  Any way.

Rescue and Recovery — She is on her own.  People are unwilling to believe in the imagination of a BPD and there is no help in the current system other than drugs, but odds are she will refuse to take them and go on suffering without love or acceptance for herself.  If you have been reduced this kind of judgemental diagnosis you must take back your own control.  Find a way to love every part of you, even the difficult parts you’ve been trained to hate too.  Practice speaking up and teaching people new ways to treat you.  If you cannot find a way on your own reach out for help to build your confidence and self-esteem.   An entirely new way to look at yourself is required because somehow mental conditioning growing up taught you self-doubt all the way to self-hatred like everyone else who does not like your ‘truth.’ BPD must learn to set boundaries about how they are viewed and treated by others.

Postpartum Depression — A mental condition only given to women who gave birth and yet adoptive mothers suffer with this so-called mental illness as well.  Once again chemistry imbalance is blamed.  Real cause is extreme mental exhaustion and depletion of the senses with increased life responsibilities.  A new 24 hour clock to live by alone can make one sick.  Mother often has to concern herself about work and finances as well as carry the weight of managing the baby, house, and everyone else’s feelings but her own.  Unconscious doesn’t like self-neglect yet the well-trained conscious mind says she is not enough if she complains.  Having to be super-human leads to collapse eventually.

Rescue and Recovery — Throw away the idea you must be all and do all at your own expense. Demand help and don’t feel guilt or shame while doing so.  It takes two to bring a child into the world, not just one.  As long as a woman believes she must keep up with impossible demands she will, until she cracks completely in some cases.  Self care is needed if no one else seems to.  Don’t be a victim, be in charge!

PreMenstrual Syndrome (PMS) — Mental disease caused by cramping and discomfort during monthly cycle of a woman.  Too often something is very wrong in the organs of female anatomy and pain goes undiagnosed due to ignorance and lack of understanding and research.  In addition to medical doctors unable to find a suitable solution for this very real problem.  Employers are allowed to show no mercy or tolerance for the different biological make-up of female staff and provide nothing to assist in the need for some accommodation.  Women have been conditioned to not speak of their ‘problem’ and is often shamed into silence for her ‘difference to men’ and can feel irritable because unconscious Intuit (one’s truth) will respond negatively to the thought she deserves to live in shame and pain.

Rescue and recovery — The shaming of physiological differences to men needs to be replaced with empathy (most of the rule makers are males who would never be able understand the unique needs of women – and so need to be educated).  If no one else cares about your pain, YOU must care and take care of yourself in whatever way makes you most comfortable and happy.  Use the right brain to imagine ideas for making yourself feel better during this time, and the left brain will find a way to make it happen for you.  Two brains work together like magic when you believe in both of them!

Addiction — Inability to live sober in a world that seems upside down.  At first some comfort is felt in the indulgence of drugs or alcohol, but after a while that right brain is going to reject that solution and create all sorts of added problems to the life.

Rescue and Recovery — First, get rid of any notion you are powerless.  Find a way to believe in yourself and ability to control anything.  Fill your imagination with thoughts of strength and empowerment.  Addiction is self suicide, start recovery by figuring out why your life doesn’t seem to matter to you.  There is a ‘learned’ reason.

The Intuit doesn’t like slavery.  We are born free to survive, and thrive.  However the best part of us (right brain imagination) goes unconsciously hay-wire when neglected and made to feel needy and dependent on others for survival.  Dependency for happiness is simply not healthy for anyone.

I write this article to beg you to reconsider what might be really going on in society that is creating so much suffering and pain for women and children, and many men.  Can we reframe this whole ‘women are crazy thing’ just for giggles and see if we can’t come up with a better solution to mental illness?  How about we change everything right here and now instead of packing it in with acceptance of emotional torture and drugs?

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are an amazing therapy for self-actualization.  It helps one open the eyes to what the problem is, and how to find solutions to obtain happiness, peace of mind, and a comfortable sense of being.  Control becomes possible when we believe in it for ourselves.

I have a feeling mental illness will be replaced with new exciting possibilities for all of us if we dare to allow all people the right to think the way they are born to think, not the way we want them to be for the better lives of everyone else.

Right brain can create a good or bad life.  In spite of what we have been told about the imagination, why not deliberately go into the mind’s eye and use it to make yourself well again?  “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Said respected philosopher and writer,  Napoleon Hill.

Find a creative outlet you enjoy.  Colour with crayons, engage a craft you wouldn’t mind spending hours doing, learn a new art that fascinates you, listen to or play music, read or write.  Intuit feels happy and peaceful while creating so if you are fortunate enough to work in a right brain occupation your life will be much happier.

Remember when you were a small child you use to play ‘pretend’ with the imagination, before that got all cancelled in school norms — why not go back and play pretend about retraining your own mental thinking.  Imagine you are amazing for a change.  Fake you matter if you think you don’t.  Your unconscious and body will respond with love!

Believe in your own eyes, ears, and feelings.  You wouldn’t eat something that smelled or tasted bad because the senses are connected to the unconscious part that will wake up in the event of a bad food.  Learn to trust all of your own good senses!  Just because a story makes sense (fantasies of someone else are only true if you buy into that line of thought) does not make it your truth.  Some people are trained very well to not say a word about their own truth to protect someone else.  Others know how to manipulate the sensitive’s senses for their own selfish needs and gratification.  They use emotional manipulation of shaming, fear, guilt, and even anger to get what they want from a person who feels weak or vulnerable.

Stop Waiting and Start Creating

Hopelessness is bound to set in when we deny our own value and existence.  Isn’t it time to wonder why so many mental cases are ending up sicker than ever with the current mental health treatment of people?  Perhaps women need to put their intuition and imaginations to work on how to educate and articulate what we know, but do not get to say out loud?  Maybe some men who understand their own right brain intelligence will feel safer if they too are allowed to be whom they are innately.

When the left and right brain are allowed to work together as equal partners miracles happen.  When only one side of the brain is developed the sense of mental imbalance is the result.  We are literally working with half a brain.

*Mental illness can be a serious condition that is passed onto children as they watch, listen and learn how to cope from parents.  Please find a way to rescue and recovery if you have a little bit of hope left in you.  At the end of the day, only you really can change anything and it takes a belief there is better waiting as soon as you ask for more.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist in the Okanagan Valley specializing in hypnosis for mental health, addictions, and spiritual identity.  She has lived an amazing life of ups and downs beyond normal.  This practitioner herself was raised in an abusive home taking on abusive self-thinking, and later experienced the extreme life trauma of losing her only beloved son to a car accident.  Time and time again Cherylann found a way to rise above adversity and uses herself as a positive example of recovery using the wonders of right brain love, honour and development.

Please check out her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca and like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

 

Stop WaitingStart Creating (1)

 

 

 

 

EXPOSING THE NARCISSIST

Are you feeling weak, anxious, depressed or stressed for nothing you can put your finger on?  You could be in the orbit of a malignant Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a very real problem in today’s society and these extremely disturbed beholders will create much drama and trauma in the wake of their numerous intimate and social relationships throughout their lifetime.

No matter how smart you are, they have a genius way of making non narcissists feel confused, anxious, and stuck with them.

Sadly, if you have allowed yourself to be victim in the clutches of a narcissist chances are you doubt your own good senses to the point you’ve completely lost your ability to see things objectively.  Truthfully.  I’d like you to remember that you are capable.  You can solve problems.  You are okay but you have got to get away.

Hiding from Truth reduces our natural ability of feeling in control, strong, self-confident and capable.

It is very difficult to recognize the signs of a narcissist until the damage has been done. Please take this article as fair warning.

Narcissists push the buttons of emotionally reactive (normal) people and then watch the drama unfold in glee. This is how they get fed.  They need your emotional energy to survive because they have none.  But even still you will tend to only see the things you have in common.  You have so many things in common because the N will mirror his image for your pleasure until you are sucked right in.  So you want it to work.  Will it to work.  And all too often good folks are willing to give up their very identity in an attempt to make this (hopeless) relationship work until they are bled completely dry.

Symptoms of NPD

Narcissists secretly (sometimes overtly) feel superior to the rest of the general population.  They tend to have a lot of false pride — pride in things they did not earn themselves.  They will be jealous of your success and relationships and create mind-boggling interference (character assassination causing family, employment, or community & social alienation).  Narcissists are often sexually over-active, entitled, demanding, critical of others, and have cold views of people and the world.  N’s see people with feelings as weak, and make delicious meat out of their supply to feed themselves with.  They do not care who their supply is — even their own children are feed for the malignant narcissist vampire; so why do you think they would love you more?

Narcissists are men and women. They are CEO’s of corporations, volunteer or political organizations; they love to manage other people’s money and businesses…and they are heads of families. If they are not the leader they are the sidekick of someone with more standing than themselves in an attempt to morph themselves into the power they crave.

These beings do not seek mental health help (remember there is nothing wrong with them), but they sure can create self-doubt if their victim is not strong enough to ward off such brilliant manipulation.  More often than not the N’s target was already raised by one or more narcissists and find the abusive cycle familiar, comfortable…and so they dive in to the same kind of abusive relationship…again and again and again…until they (we) finally get it.

I was raised by two of them, and one sibling out of four made my life a living hell while I was engaged in co-dependent abusive relationships. I didn’t get it until I lost everything to the whims of the malignant narcissists I grew up with.  I was 50 when my mother died making sure she got the last word, leaving angry and very sad family drama in her wake. I finally see the insanity of my relationship with the narcissist. It can’t work. It is a co-dependent reign of confusion that will never end until one of the two participants finally leaves.

Trouble is, if you are repeatedly hurt and neglected and used and spoken ill of you may attract more of them in your adult years and you tend to stay in longer than is healthy or just go out and find new ones to abuse you.  It is like we become magnets for the same kind of abuse we experienced as younger, impressionable youths.

Who Are the Narcissists!?

Narcissists are your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, best friend, boss, coworker…there is no discrimination to be a narcissist.  NPD is as common as any other labeled mental illness and it is in the DSM as a psychiatric disorder. There are no medications for such a problem, however. The Narcissist lacks conscious feeling and there is no drug or treatment that can grow a conscious feeling from nothing.

Sometimes your narcissist will at first glance appear to be like a knight in shining armor; or a prince or princess charming, if you will. Your own good unconscious mind may pick up that something is wrong right off the bat; maybe you will act on it, but the N will cry, and need you.  Then the old critical conscious mind wins by ignoring those powerful intuitions we are all born with.   Very soon the charismatic mask will slide off and what you will find underneath of your new relationship is about as ugly as it gets.  But by then most long-term sufferers have completely stopped listening to themselves and their own good judgement.

We let the narcissist in and share our secrets, stories, ambitions, and weaknesses.  Ah, the narcissist loves your weaknesses!  When you stop being obedient the N will take your secrets and hold them up to the light of day for everyone to see in an attempt to shame you, guilt you, reduce you in the eyes of others.  The narcissist gets a sick pleasure feeding off of the fears and worries and shames of others.  They will twist your words as they project their own ugly minds on you…as if you think like that.  You don’t.  Trust yourself.  Trust yourself.  Can I say that again?

That’s why I suggest so frequently to not listen to gossip!  If you feed on talk about someone you know nothing about soon you very well could be that mouth’s next target.  You can count on being next.

We have somehow learned to stop listening to our own wise inner selves and sacrifice our emotional well-being as we keep the abusive cycle alive. When we ignore our own Truth we can count on something giving.  Inside of yourself you will create stress, anxiety, depression, drug or alcohol abuse as a way of coping the uncontrollable dance with a malignant narcissist.

It’s Time to Take Control

First, practice trusting your intuition before you trust anyone else.  Next, when you finally come to the realization you are in a dangerous relationship do not confront the narcissist.  It will be like reasoning with their cousin, the serial killing psychopath.  And, it will give them time to find a way to control you even more dangerously.  There is no point to confronting an N at all because they cannot change.  And things can get very very bad for you if you do not make the break quickly and quietly.  Tell a few close friends what is happening before the break.  Protect your good name, children if involved, and assets before you make your escape.

The NPD can destroy your reputation and emotional well-being so masterfully it rarely gets confronted by their active listening audience, or even the supply herself.  You don’t know what the hell is going on so what can you do?  You wonder what is wrong with you and you keep trying to fix yourself to be better.  You never will be good enough as long as you allow creatures like this into your psyche.  I realize we have to live among all people to get along but this is one person you do not want to get too close, or reveal your innermost secrets to.  Not if you don’t want to feel the shame and embarrassment when your personal laundry gets aired out in public later…when you no longer toe the line.

You Are Better Than You Think!

You have the information.  Now it is up to you to give your head a shake and ask yourself if you are the problem, or is someone else making you the problem?  I do not pussyfoot around with aggressive or passive aggressive abusers in my life anymore.  I just cannot afford the risk after already losing everything to the N’s of my past.  Whenever I come in contact with another narcissist (they are in every circle) I run, not walk the other way as fast as I can without causing damage to myself.  If I must be in the company of a narcissist I have a protective bubble all around me as I observe with caution.

Your own intuition will never lead you wrong.  Listen to your good and far wiser Truth and enjoy the freedoms of life you are offered.  Your journey is suppose to be yours without fear, remember that.

Whoever ends the codependent cycle of narcissistic abuse wins.  For your sake and safety, make sure it is you.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist in Westbank BC, specializing in empowering her clients to emotional and mental freedom from abuse and trauma.  Helping her clients face the fear, worry, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, grief, loss and despair is what finally brings her clients peace, strength and a renewed zest for life.   Check out her website and facebook at

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

You Will Never Be Enough

What if Your Wounds Lead You To Your Purpose?

What if there really is a good reason for our emotionally painful life experiences? What if it was to prepare us for our journey to come?

At the cell level of my being I understand pain, fear (terror), resentment, loneliness and even envy of what others had and I did not. I use to think I was one of the most unfortunate souls to walk the earth, the mother of a child who died. While I once said giving birth to a baby was painful; I soon learned I would experience even harsher torture when I had to give Trevor back 25 years later.

When I did begin to investigate to find out why I couldn’t seem to find any emotional peace in my life I realized that the image of myself was all wrong for me. I didn’t belong there. I was better than that. I didn’t fit in the not so merry place of victimland where “Oh Woes Me” could be heard for miles. After a while I never really felt comfortable in that role and I somehow sensed there had to be more for me.  I recalled when I was a 16 year old mess my stepmother looked in my eyes, deeply, and said, “Cheryl, you are special.  Don’t ever forget that.”   I hung onto those words because I needed them for a lifeline from time to time, and they are the words I clung to when I decided to throw caution to the wind and find my own truth.

It was hard because I have a whole shitload of trauma and drama most people would never be able to lift out of. If you knew my complete story (and some of you reading do); you would all understand if I just packed up my bags and lived in self pain for the rest of my miserable life. YOU would be compassionate and understand, but I somehow felt there was better for me.

I had to get tough with myself. No more lying inside to attempt to make myself OR SOMEONE ELSE feel better. That didn’t work. No more lying and secrets, shame and stuffing. Time to get real. When I finally did GET IT I was pleasantly surprised to find my own Truth is actually very special. Who I am. What I am. And where I am going all became very clear to me. I know now I’ll never look back.

My new attitude doesn’t mean I don’t still hurt myself from time to time with my own human impulses.  And I can get just as reactive as the next guy (sometimes that show really looks ridiculous), but today I look at it like I make mistakes, but I am no longer ‘a’ mistake.  And I ignore set backs.

Sometimes the worst of the worst has to happen to us before we are ready to use available tools (and there are options for everyone when we look) to recover from trauma.

I learned I had to stop being a baby and to realize I am not the only suffering soul. There are people out there far worse off than me and when I open my eyes and see how much I really do have I immediately have emotional peace.

I should be more compassionate at times when I see the whining and crying over everyday minute solvable things; I realize it irritates me only because I was there too and perhaps I’m mad at myself for not understanding sooner.  Petty gossip to reduce your friend just about drives me around the bend. We don’t take responsibility anymore. Everything is everyone else’s fault or we are a victim of circumstances. What if you are suffering because you like to? Perhaps this is what your psyche is use to and so you keep doing it?

I suggest we are better than that, under the clutter. You (yes you!) are an amazing person with a potential for an amazing mission. Lift up out of the bowels of emotional despair and find your hero within.  When this is achieved I suspect you too will find your wounds actually do lead you to your exciting life purpose.  The walls will all come down and you’ll not only think outside of your old box, you’ll see there is no box at all!

That’s my message, that’s all. I don’t want to pick on anyone feeling down and out.  It would hurt me if I knew my message hurt someone who is feeling powerless right now. My intention for writing today holds two thoughts: 1. I like to share to inspire people up, and 2. I like to vent (sound out my passion) this way. I find it therapeutic. 🙂  If this did not suit your story that is fine too. ❤

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a seasoned Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of Wesk Kelowna, BC Canada. She specializes in mental illness resolution including depression, anxiety, mood disorders, grief, loss, sexual abuse, childhood trauma.  Cherylann is trained using the latest therapeutic hypnotic techniques including suggestion, regression, PLRegression, Parts and Cords therapies for habits, loss and abandonment.

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Are You Driving Yourself Insane?

Warning: This article is graphic and may have triggers for some.

The most seriously mentally ill win the award for the best vivid imaginations.  They can conjure up all sorts of thoughts and ideas in their heads that are absolute nonsense, B.S. not proven, not even validated a little bit.  And yet we all, at one time or another, allow self-defeating thoughts to enter our consciousness, roll around and around as if it is the Truth, making it the Truth with added imaginary thoughts to confirm our righteousness in our lying positions.  There are degrees of mental illness, depending on the severity of the lies we try to hold onto.

This is personal for me.  When my only child, Trevor, died at the young age of 25, my imagination almost drove me to the brink of madness, if it didn’t once or twice (or too many times to count) in the years that followed his accident.  Where was he?  Did he go to hell?  He wasn’t a Christian and I know he was quite anti-religion period.  So, what does this mean for his future in death?  You can imagine my horror.  A mother is a mother unto eternity and she will always have the intuitive need to protect her young, even in death.

How can I go on knowing, based on all of my biblical and religious training, that Trevor was burning in hell!?  His car accident involved fire; lots of fire, 80% of his body was burned — what did I allow that little smidget of information about the accident do to my imagination?  You can only guess.  Finally, I went so far down the imaginary road of hell I actually believed for a while that I killed my son through my woeful anti-motherly neglect.

I allowed myself to remember every single parental infraction – that time I went off the deep end on him – and that look on his face, like he was slapped or something, was to haunt me forever now.  I worked too hard, went to school at night.  Belonged to every political and community organization that would have me.  I wasn’t there for Trevor.  He grew up to be killed over my early neglect.  More fantastical thoughts came and I let them buggers have a seat and get comfortable in the confines of my vulnerable mind too.  It was a party, complete with lots and lots of booze and pills to numb the fantasy when it got too much.

Soon, my imagination gave way to a complete emotional breakdown.  There was no where else to go.  Insanity, or death. That was it for me.  I was weaning off of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and even anti-psychotic drugs because I knew by then my life was a wasteland and not moving forward with them.  I didn’t want to feel drugged anymore.

In avoiding pain, I accumulated more of it.

Suddenly, clear thinking now, everything I had stuffed for almost five years came at me like a tidal wave.  My son was dead all over again.  My marriage ended in my oblivion, We lost access to our grandson.  We gained custody of our granddaughter. I was going bankrupt. Life was an utter mess and I was left to deal with it, chemical free.  The emotional pain was too much to bear, friends. And I made the decision to end it.  I could not tolerate the mental torture going on in my mind one more minute.  My thoughts literally drove me to insanity.

I chose death.

That fateful night I swerved hard-right onto a mountain wall speeding at 110 kmph (about 75 mph I think).  There was nothing but my car embedded into the mountain and me, as I was removed by emergency crews.  I was in shock, trying to comprehend a completely totaled car, and not a mark on my body or ache to my bones.  I didn’t tell the emergency crew who showed up in complete disbelief that I was alive, that I saw an angel in my steering wheel at the moment of impact.  The angelic face was as clear as the wall that I smashed into.

Everything made sense to me in that split second, that moment of impact.  I knew my time was not up.  No one goes until it is their time, and this was not it for me.

I suddenly had a mission.

I didn’t even stay in the hospital for much of a psychiatric evaluation (3 days mandatory I think).  I wanted to get home and get to work.  I had to completely destroy those drugs and get help.  I had to be honest with someone.  I killed my son and I needed to be punished out right, or just let me go. (Don’t ask, this is the stuff that was in my head.)  I knew I was at the bottom and there was no where else to go except up.  I said these very words to myself, “If I have to live, I insist on living in peace!”

I decided to start with hypnotherapy because I knew it was a stress relieving therapy, if nothing else, and I was filled to the rim with stress.  Little did I know that I would find myself in those 14 sessions.  I learned who I was, and more importantly, what I was doing to myself. The abuse I managed to give and take (from myself) was more than most people could bear.  I was allowing my imagination to be the Truth, when it was full of lies, judgments, misconceptions, ignorance, and being naive to the power of my own ability to drive myself insane.

My imagination got me into this mess, it also got me out!

So what is the Truth that set me free?  In the safety of hypnosis my therapist had me imagine Trevor was standing in front of me.  What would he say to me, regarding his upbringing?  Is it possible he would hug me? She had me imagine the words Trevor would speak, because I knew him the best, she said.   I sat and listened, …and the words he would have said came to me.  Wonderful love and support and compassion filled my head.  I was given my freedom back.  Imagining the Truth, the real Truth, brought me home.  I allowed my imagination to imprison me, punish me, and almost execute me.  Now I was using my imagination to understand the Truth.

In fact, my love for Trevor is the Truth.  The only truth that matters at all.  And my knowledge of his love for me is the same Truth.  There is no way my son would reject me, so I allowed myself to stop imagining he would.  My own worst case situation was a lying fantasy all along.

And hell finally left me alone.  Feelings of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, all receded, and were replaced with forgiveness, compassion and love.  Now, to me, only love is real.  Everything else is my enemy.  I seek out the Truth in all of my emotions, and every time, every single time, I win again.

We use our imaginations to scare ourselves to insanity, or death.  Now search for your Truth just by using your imagination to find it.  Believe in yourself.  Your good self.  Your real self.  Stop feeding the lies, and encourage the Truth in your own mind; it is what will not only allow you to survive, but thrive.

“That which can be destroyed by Truth, should be.” P.C. Hodge.

Do you like this article?  Please share with your friends and help spread the word of hope for the ones who thought there was none.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim CH,t is now a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in helping her clients resolve anxiety, depression, grief, loss and abandonment, weight loss, fears and phobias.  Cherylann has an extremely important ingredient to her successful therapy practice: Personal experience.  Non judgmental and compassionate, you can count on her to help you find the root of your internal conflict; your Truth.

Now available on Skype.  Please visit her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca and come like her Facebook page! http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

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What is Hypnotherapy and How Does it Work?

Hypnotherapy is the fastest leading drug free process for improving mental and emotional conditions that keep folks stuck.  So, what does it mean and how does it work?  AND…can you be hypnotized?

This form of therapy goes back to 3000 years in Greece. The priests of the day had sleep temples and soul healing was done for suffering patrons.   In the early 1900’s hypnosis as a therapy was used by the new psychiatrists of the era to save clients from their own crazy imaginations. In the 1970’s the technique came back bountiful as psychiatrists found the process was favorable in ending fears, phobias, anxieties and negative habitual thoughts, feelings and behavior.  Here, in the early 2000s, hypnosis and hypnotherapy are widely used around the world by forward thinking psychiatrists and therapists to help clients get to the root of internal troubles, as an alternative to medication and/or talk therapy for emotional relief.

People find this powerful meditative process an amazingly simple way to finding the inner core of oneself, to remove all unnecessary critical conscious mind stuff that goes on, and see ourselves for what we really are.  Beautiful. Strong. Confident and in control of everything we think, feel, and do.  In hypnotherapy we find our purpose. Our passion. Ourselves.

So how does Hypnotherapy work?  

Break down the word to Hypno (sleep) and Therapy.  When we feel stressed our bodies’ tense up.  So the first order of business is to put the body to sleep.  We get use to feeling mind stress and later don’t understand why we develop joint or muscle pain, or headaches and other physical issues.  Our bodies need more healthy rest.

Hypno is about putting the body to sleep.  The Delta level of sleep, same as bedtime sleeping.  The body feels extremely heavy, that even if you wanted to open your eyes you couldn’t — you’re relaxed too much to want to move your body in this wonderful rest.  30 minutes of hypnosis is valued at 8 hours of bedtime sleeping for the body.  It is extremely good for you, much like meditation.   If your brain is hooked up to a sleep meter, it will show it is Delta asleep.

How do you know you were hypnotized?

When you emerge from a hypnotherapy session you may find your eyes have watered — we do leak from the eyes at Delta…you know how you wake up in the morning with little crusty’s around the tear ducts?  The same happens in hypnotherapy.   We may feel our hands and feet tingle, our internal furnace goes up, or down.  The best way to know you have been hypnotized is the amazing change you suddenly feel; capable of mastering anything you set your mind to.  Instead of telling yourself “No I can’t” you begin to allow yourself to think, “Yes I can!”

I Don’t Want to Lose My Control by being asleep during therapy! Doubters may wonder.

Your mind is AWAKE.  You hear what is going on around you, you can do your best mental work while ‘asleep’ and your hypnotherapist will guide you to the root cause of whatever problem you want stopped, or whatever part of you you want to be better.   Using metaphors, visualizations, emolizations, and your own wonderful creative imagination will turn any weakness into a strength during hypnotherapy.

Hypnotherapy cannot be done on someone without their expressed permission.  

All hypnosis is self hypnosis.  If hypnotherapists could make someone do something against their will they would be the rulers of the earth!   Perhaps you have seen the entertainment hypnosis on stage, in front of an audience.  A very small percentage of us can go into hypnosis in that manner.  Only 20% of the population, in fact.  So if 25 people go up to the stage, only five will stay and be hypnotized, dancing around like a chicken or some other fun spectacle. If the Hypnotist told the participants to go out and kill someone, or themselves, or give him or her money…the buck would stop, the unconscious mind would emerge and stop it.  The unconscious mind keeps us safe, always.

You may not be one of the 20% who accept suggestions for entertainment! 

The good news is 100% of non brain damaged folks CAN be hypnotized in a therapeutic environment.  All it takes is a willingness to follow relaxation of the body processes, and to use your beautiful imagination in a creative, profound and meaningful way.  Your therapist shows you that bleed on your heart, or some inner pipe that may be cracked or broken, or some lack of self control disconnect; and then guides you to proven self-healing techniques.  You really are your own best physician!  

There are several types of Hypno-therapy processes including Suggestion Therapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Parts Therapy, Regression, PLRegression, and Cords therapy for grief and loss.  Your practitioner will know what technique(s) would work best for you.

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in helping her clients end depression, resolve anxiety, remove phobias and unnatural fears, grief, loss, and weight loss.  Skype service is now available.

For more information visit http://www.MindMiraclesHypnotherpy.ca and call to schedule your Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy session today!

You are better than you think.

Don't Grow Old!  Let's Grow UP! (2)