A Love Story About Goal Setting

I first learned about goal setting in a little basement church one Wednesday night in December 1982.  Dr. Tom Hopper was a guest speaker for my progressive church’s Wednesday night bible study.  What an amazing man as he was my first teacher about the power of our imaginations.

I was a single parent of a four year old boy, working for $900 a month as an office clerk, just above minimum wage at the time.  I worked on the weekends at a pub as a waitress.  I went to school on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  I had no family support or baby father to help with my load. What was killing me was the student loan of $4000 I had to pay. $100 every month ate away my measly earnings.  When I went about setting my goals the way Dr. Hopper suggested the first thing on my list under ‘financial’ was to pay off my student loan by March.  I also was ready to meet a real father for my son.  I set March for that as well. What the hell, right?

It seemed ridiculous.  The good doctor said to be specific in your goals, exactly how much money do you want, what kind of man do you want to meet.  The more detail the better he suggested.

How on earth I could reach such huge goals in three months made no sense to me, so after I did his secret ‘treatment’ for reaching the goals I put the piece of paper with my goals on it away in a drawer and forgot about it.

In January I was horrified to learn that my landlord was moving out and he had rented the upper suite to three young men.   My landowners were an East Indian family who often babysat for me when I worked on the weekends so the idea of having a bunch of men living above me now was hard to cope with.  I was a very mature 23, they were 20 and 21 with sports cars and it was their first time away from home.  I was driving a rust riddled green Maveric and had no extra money for skiing at Whistler or Blackcomb, the way they invited me so many times.  These decent but young guys liked the Who and other non-country music, were recent college graduates and all working one job during the week and free to do whatever they wanted the rest of the time.  Not my life at the time.

While I ended up enjoying cooking for the boys, and they fixed my broken down car more than once, I had no time or money for their party-time lifestyle.  While I was friendly they were much younger than myself emotionally.  Except Gary.  Gary was different.  He recently graduated from electrical engineering at BCIT and already landed a job working on main-frame computers for a large computer company.  He carried a brown briefcase to work everyday, and wore a tie.   He also gave all of his childhood Lego to my son who was very fond of the toys.  I was a little concerned because Gary gave the Lego up in organized by colour little boxes within a big box.  I knew my Trevor would have that Lego all mixed up in one big box in no time.

So they were different, but a good match as it turned out that later Gary would be my son’s father, baseball and soccer coach, and Cub and Scout leader.  A good man, husband and father.  Until March of that year however I had no idea I would consider one of the guys upstairs a potential husband!   Something happened in March that made me look at him differently, and the rest was a 25 year marriage.  Goal #1 – Check.

The other thing that happened that March is just as amazing after I set those goals and did the treatment.  I had this student loan I was paying every month, and so I made a financial goal of $4000.00 to be in my hands by March to free up more income for me, and give me credit for future student loans.

What happened next in how I was able to pay off that first student loan that March was nothing short of a miracle to me.  My baby’s father was free from having to pay child support because back in the day if the mother does not sue for child support within the first year of the child’s life the mother is not able to go after him later.  There is one loop-hole.  If the father is ever in contact with the child the time starts ticking for another year.  It was just by happenchance that for some reason the father got in touch with me for once in apparent concern for his son.  He took us shopping for groceries and gave me a cheque for $30.00.  This was a sign of paternal responsibility in the courts of law (we didn’t have DNA back then so women had a heck of a time getting help from deadbeat fathers).

I wasn’t a student of criminology yet but I knew I had to take my evidence to a lawyer right away.   There was no legal aid so I wondered how I could work this out.   Again, another coinkydink that made this goal become a reality: I was friends with a social worker who knew my pathetic income and was able to maneuver me a ministry legal team who worked on behalf of the Ministry of Human Resources as social services were called at the time.  I was somehow eligible for this amazing team.

Within weeks that lawyer was able to get me a financial settlement of $4000.00, payable immediately.  No long drawn out court hearings, just done…just like that.  And my son’s dad also signed away his rights as a father leaving the door open for Gary to be Trevor’s father in every sense.   On March 13th 1983 I picked up a cheque for $4000 from my lawyer’s office.  I went home that Friday night and celebrated with my upstairs neighbour boys by joining them in a game of pool at a local pub.  That night, even though I knew Gary for three months already, I had an inkling that that boy might be decent marriage material!  I turned out to be correct and we married in December 1984.

Student loan paid off, husband secured, and later my goals continued to grow with me.  At the peak of my career I was earning $125,000 while managing a successful employment agency.  I literally have about 15 years of post secondary education behind me due to my goal setting ways.  This from a grade 9 drop out, unwed mother.

I have added to Doctor Tom’s Recipe for Setting Successful Goals by incorporating them into all of my hypnotherapy treatments with clients.  But you don’t need a hypnotherapist to set and achieve your goals.

For self hypnosis treatments put yourself in a meditative state the way you normally do.   Imagine. sense, feel, emotionalize what you want to manifest in your life.  You have successfully hypnotized your mind to achievement!

Statistics say only 5% of the population actually sits down and writes goals. But stats also say that 72% of people who write goals achieve their target. Can you imagine how much further you can go if you add visualizing and emotionalizing your success?  Here are some tips to make sure your goal setting has the added advantage of Dr. Tom’s that helped me all of those years ago.

  1. Write your goals in an order of preference under categories. i.e: Financial, Career, Relationships, Educational, and so on.
  2. Be specific.  How much money do you need and by when?  How much weight do you want to lose and what will you weigh then?  What size clothes would you fit into?  What character traits do you most prefer in a husband (or wife?).  Get very specific for easier imagining.
  3. Now that you have your goals on paper, and you are specific to what and when you want what you want, it’s time to start your mental treatments for success.  Find a quiet place to relax in a comfortable chair or bed.  Close your eyes and gently allow all distracting thoughts to leave you.  Imagine a place in your mind where you are in control of everything.  You can make stuff up.  In your secret place where everything is possible pretend, sense, imagine you are already a success.  Your goal is achieved.  What would that be like for you? What would you look like?  What would you feel like?  Sense it, be it, have it.
  4. Continue to imagine what it would look, taste, smell, and feel like to achieve your goals and watch your new life unfold before your eyes.

How it works I am not sure.  I just know that whenever I take the time to improve myself by setting goals good things have a way of manifesting.  I encourage anyone reading this try setting goals for 2016.  It could change everything for your family, the way goal setting changed my life all of those years ago in the basement of a church.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist working out of the Family Wellness Centre in West Kelowna, BC.  She is one of the most called upon hypnotherapists for relief of depression, anxiety, and grief.  After Cherylann lost her only child to a car accident in 2003, life took a serious turn for the worse.  Once again, however, Cherylann has been able to build herself back up and now spends her life and career helping others achieve their goals.

 

 

 

 

 

The Cure For Mental Illness

The Cure For Mental Illness

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As you may have figured out by now, I am very passionate on the subject of government and pharmaceutical company domination of our emotional well being.  So, I get a lot of flak for my views, because there are many people right now suffering terribly with feelings of mental instability.  I will never argue if folks need the drugs to live better temporarily…but after a few months, come on, it’s time to deal.  Or not.  It really is that simple.

Please note:  I am not speaking of mental insanity or retardation or factual brain damage where control measures, such as drugs, is needed to keep the patient or others safe.  There is no doubt these drugs do have a place.

I am also acutely aware that many cannot afford alternatives to the traditional response to depression and anxiety.  The alternatives are kept hidden, regulated, not funded.  So, I get that in many cases we are stuck with what is available to help us through in that moment.

But at least let’s look at things a little more closely regarding this serious mental illness problem we are experiencing in the western world…keep in mind, our minds are like a parachute, it only works when it’s open. (unknown)_

I had to find out the hard way.  When I speak against the legal drug nation, I am not speaking only from an academic point of view, I am speaking as an experienced mental case, certified crazy at times, even a member of the ‘lifer mentally ill category person until I escaped the system.  I know exactly what I am talking about, and I am convinced we are going to regret this medicinal answer.  I was a victim too.  My son died.  Then I was all of the labels and I got away with giving up because no one knew what else to do with me.  “We understand why you are nuttier than a fruit cake, Cherylann…it’s expected, you lost your son afterall.  Go ahead, give up, we won’t judge you.”  I had zero internal skills to help myself.

I was in bed all day.  I saw the commercials, “If you are sitting there watching this like a moron, ask your doctor about getting a drug that will brain fry you even more.”  Well, something like that, you get my meaning.   And I listened to the nice scientist man on the television tell me that my feelings were a sickness, and there was a drug solution to my sickness.  I could go to my doctor and get any psychiatric drug I wanted.  It just depended on what my mood was that day and what I would ‘tell’ my doctor; and he would respond with the right drug per the commercial on t.v.  You know I’m speaking the truth here.

Some pharmaceutical’s are the enemy to society’s civil evolution as we know it if you ask me.  I have no doubt that when I’m dead and gone it will come out that we have been experimented on for vaccines, and psychiatric medication.  I know we think the folks in India are being the paid guinea pigs testing our psychiatric drugs, but in fact many of them falsify results of success for better financial gain.  I think it is important to put a magnifying glass under that term, ‘Secondary Gain.”  Wherever there can be secondary gain in a system involving the masses, the validation of testing must always be suspect.

SECONDARY GAINS
FOR ENCOURAGING PERMANENT MENTAL HEALTH LABELS

1. Pharmaceutical companies (profit)…all the way down to pharmacies.
2. Marketers and Advertisers (profit of course)…follow the money…
2. Doctors (Career, without the drugs, what else do they have for emotionally disturbed individuals?)
3. Patient (Won’t have to face uncomfortable feelings and emotions; gives reason to miss or leave work; Gives reason to collect a legal government monthly pension (I am sorry, you know I am being honest here, why lie to ourselves?).

Sadly, of all secondary gains that make me the most frustrated, is when people give up forever and wave “I am sick and you don’t understand” flags.  Begging for validation to give up life.  I stopped doing that and never felt better.

I am not normally a conspiracy theorist, when I read about what was done to the military in WWI and WW II, and the testing done on the infirm and insane that was so egregious lives were tortured and taken by non-suspecting folks.  We need to research matters of the mind before we blindly accept the ‘chemical imbalance theory.’   We seem to be like the stepford wives when it comes to the commercials that say, “Ask your doctor if you are sad or disinterested in life…”   Why on earth do we think it logical to ask a scientist about our feelings?  The scientists think feelings are brain matter of some kind!

If you are emotionally distraught, what if it is a spiritual emergency, a message from your  unconscious mind, or God even!  What if you are masking the spiritual messages we all get from time to time.

Instead of hiding from our feelings and emotions, we need to listen and take lessons from them.

We miss someone terribly!  We are afraid of the future!  We did something bad!  I hate her!

These feelings are WARNINGS…you need to tend to yourself gently, or harshly, or just compassionately all around, but do it.

I have a feeling you secretly know I’m right.

Then we find out that the science community actually did brain surgery on emotional or emotionally unstable (women mostly) in the early to mid part of the twentieth century.  The human rights people put an end to that.  However, science soon came up with a chemical answer to inhibit the emotional response of the brain instead.

Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic, anti-feel drugs.

I wonder why we buy into that, really?  With no proof, no lab test to agree with the ‘supposition’ we are mentally ill forever.  We read a list of 10 ‘symptoms’ and diagnose ourselves before we even get to the doctor, who is only going to give you what you want if it is anti-depressants and the lot.  You know I’m telling the truth!

Feelings are messages to us from our unconscious mind (or God, if you prefer).  If you feel a touch of worry, or fear, or shame, or guilt, or resentment, or anger…you might want to ask yourself right then and there what is going on?  Get to the bottom of that feeling (and WE ARE ALL RESPONSILBE FOR OUR OWN FEELINGS, EVEN IN THE WORST OF SITUATIONS AND TRAUMAS).  And learn to act on your feelings by changing your mind, or communicating with someone.

What if everything you thought about mental illness was a lie?  I am not saying it is, I am saying, “what if?”  Wouldn’t you want to know for sure?  For something as serious as making your identity a mentally unstable person, why do we so easily succumb to this kind of thought?  Is it easier to be sick and helpless?

THE PROMISED SOLUTION

I think I know the answer…in my humble opinion:  Poor coping skills is the seed of mental illness.  Instead of ‘inheriting’ some unproven biological mental illness gene from our mothers and fathers and such, what if you are in a cycle of dysfunction and are simply copying the only way you know how to cope, which is to not cope!

We need to learn coping skills for ourselves, and there are many free agencies out there with some decent courses if you are willing to learn.  For those who can afford counselling or therapy, including hypnotherapy,

After or while we are tending to ourselves, we need to begin deliberately teaching the art of communication skills at a much earlier age to children than we do now.   Let’s teach early classes of stress and sleep management.  We have to hurry up and teach our kids healthy relationship dynamics, because, let’s face it, many people are horrible relationship people, and still have KIDS!  The cycle continues…

We must knock down the school trustee doors and insist on more life skills for our kids.  They need it as much as they need those free lunches every day.  Right?

Thanks for reading.  I am going to keep on with my message, and hopefully, one person at a time, people will find themselves evolving out of depression and anxiety, and experience happiness instead.  I think it starts with finding a way to learn new coping skills.  Yes you can manage your own emotions and cope with even extreme feelings, like after a death, or trauma.  It’s been done for millions of years by trillions of people before you.  Somehow the world with far fewer resources managed to get by without swallowing a pill for every thought, feeling or emotion we don’t like.

It’s okay to have a melt down, just don’t pack your bags and live there.  It is a choice to become a butterfly, at one point.

Your Mind Really is a Miracle!

Your Mind Really is a Miracle!

Imagine for a moment that the seed to achieving all of your goals in 2015 is a mere thought.

Suppose you were to think this way: “I am 135 lbs. I am a non smoker. I am the vice-president at the bank. I have a new house. I have a new car. I am ______ (fill in the blank).

Hold your thought for a moment. Now feel it. Pretend you have already succeeded in what it is you want to achieve, or maybe it is some behaviour or habit you want to end.

Use all of your senses to envision this achievement…what would the scene look like? What would you be feeling like? Conjure up as many sensations as you can to make this goal a reality, in your MIND! Now, take a snapshot mental picture of this success and keep it with you to remember often.

You have just planted a new seed that will bring you miracles. Now water it, often 

Allow the sensation of FEELING this exciting idea that you have already achieved what it is you want! You really can be everything you wanted to be, and more!

I am in the business of helping people realize the power of their own minds and ending the thoughts and feelings that keep them stuck. I will put you into a very deep place of relaxation, and like a plumber going in behind the walls together we will reformat your mind to produce other feelings such as joy, excitement for life, peace of mind. With a little bit of tweaking you really can feel great emotionally! Do you want positive emotions? You can have it. DRUG FREE TOO!

If you need help in retraining your thinking patterns to bring out your own miracles I can help. Skype hypnosis and hypnotherapy now available.

Please check out my facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

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Imagine 2015 Being Your Best Year Ever!

Imagine 2015 Being Your Best Year Ever!

Make your year all it can be and more!

Less than 5% of the population actually take the time to write out a life plan of action, or annually set goals. Which is really ridiculous because people who do set goals on average achieve 70% or more of what they planned!

Very few people plan to fail, rather they fail to plan! Here are some powerful ways to turn your goals into reality!

1. Sit down with pen and paper and establish what it is you want to achieve in 2015. Break your goals down into categories such as in your relationships, financial, career, etc.

2. Be specific in what it is you want. If you want to make more money, how much money do you want to be earning by _____ (when?). If you want a new relationship, what qualities are you seeking in your mate? If you want a new career, what career?  Do you want to lose weight?  How much weight and by when? The more specific you can be in your goals the more likely your success!

3. Give yourself a timeline. When do you want to achieve your goal?  Remember to be specific!  Narrow it down to month, if you want!

4. Reach for more than you have before, but do not make your goals completely unrealistic.

5. After you write your goals take a few moments to close your eyes and envision yourself as already achieving your goals! Imagine it to the point that you can ‘feel’ the sensation of success.

“Whatever your mind can conceive, and believe, it will achieve!” Napoleon Hill.

After you set your goals put your paper away in a safe place.  Read it from time to time to remind yourself of your goal(s), if you want. That’s it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY ALL OF YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS COME TRUE!

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