What if Your Wounds Lead You To Your Purpose?

What if there really is a good reason for our emotionally painful life experiences? What if it was to prepare us for our journey to come?

At the cell level of my being I understand pain, fear (terror), resentment, loneliness and even envy of what others had and I did not. I use to think I was one of the most unfortunate souls to walk the earth, the mother of a child who died. While I once said giving birth to a baby was painful; I soon learned I would experience even harsher torture when I had to give Trevor back 25 years later.

When I did begin to investigate to find out why I couldn’t seem to find any emotional peace in my life I realized that the image of myself was all wrong for me. I didn’t belong there. I was better than that. I didn’t fit in the not so merry place of victimland where “Oh Woes Me” could be heard for miles. After a while I never really felt comfortable in that role and I somehow sensed there had to be more for me.  I recalled when I was a 16 year old mess my stepmother looked in my eyes, deeply, and said, “Cheryl, you are special.  Don’t ever forget that.”   I hung onto those words because I needed them for a lifeline from time to time, and they are the words I clung to when I decided to throw caution to the wind and find my own truth.

It was hard because I have a whole shitload of trauma and drama most people would never be able to lift out of. If you knew my complete story (and some of you reading do); you would all understand if I just packed up my bags and lived in self pain for the rest of my miserable life. YOU would be compassionate and understand, but I somehow felt there was better for me.

I had to get tough with myself. No more lying inside to attempt to make myself OR SOMEONE ELSE feel better. That didn’t work. No more lying and secrets, shame and stuffing. Time to get real. When I finally did GET IT I was pleasantly surprised to find my own Truth is actually very special. Who I am. What I am. And where I am going all became very clear to me. I know now I’ll never look back.

My new attitude doesn’t mean I don’t still hurt myself from time to time with my own human impulses.  And I can get just as reactive as the next guy (sometimes that show really looks ridiculous), but today I look at it like I make mistakes, but I am no longer ‘a’ mistake.  And I ignore set backs.

Sometimes the worst of the worst has to happen to us before we are ready to use available tools (and there are options for everyone when we look) to recover from trauma.

I learned I had to stop being a baby and to realize I am not the only suffering soul. There are people out there far worse off than me and when I open my eyes and see how much I really do have I immediately have emotional peace.

I should be more compassionate at times when I see the whining and crying over everyday minute solvable things; I realize it irritates me only because I was there too and perhaps I’m mad at myself for not understanding sooner.  Petty gossip to reduce your friend just about drives me around the bend. We don’t take responsibility anymore. Everything is everyone else’s fault or we are a victim of circumstances. What if you are suffering because you like to? Perhaps this is what your psyche is use to and so you keep doing it?

I suggest we are better than that, under the clutter. You (yes you!) are an amazing person with a potential for an amazing mission. Lift up out of the bowels of emotional despair and find your hero within.  When this is achieved I suspect you too will find your wounds actually do lead you to your exciting life purpose.  The walls will all come down and you’ll not only think outside of your old box, you’ll see there is no box at all!

That’s my message, that’s all. I don’t want to pick on anyone feeling down and out.  It would hurt me if I knew my message hurt someone who is feeling powerless right now. My intention for writing today holds two thoughts: 1. I like to share to inspire people up, and 2. I like to vent (sound out my passion) this way. I find it therapeutic. 🙂  If this did not suit your story that is fine too. ❤

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a seasoned Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of Wesk Kelowna, BC Canada. She specializes in mental illness resolution including depression, anxiety, mood disorders, grief, loss, sexual abuse, childhood trauma.  Cherylann is trained using the latest therapeutic hypnotic techniques including suggestion, regression, PLRegression, Parts and Cords therapies for habits, loss and abandonment.

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I Put My Eyes Inside of Myself and Guess What I Found?

If you are open, or ready, you will hear me today 🙂  This is big.  And kinda deep.  Be forewarned you may find your own life’s question here today!

The Truth to everything I needed to know about myself was inside of me all along.  I just didn’t dare look.  Based on the harshness of my upbringing, and cruel tapes I continued to play regarding my horrible self (in my mind) how could I comfortably look inside of me without risking finding I am the devil incarnate or something worse?

After I closed my eyes, plugged my nose, and jumped in to myself, instead of finding Ted Bundy’s sister, I found a vision of beauty.  I found my core intentions are usually about a pure as they could get!  I see flaws, I see many mistakes, and when I put it into proportion to my story, I feel instant forgiveness!   Today when I look at myself I see more awesomeness than the bad stuff!  What I thought would be the most painful thing to do, ended up being the easiest ride I’ve had my entire life!  Easy, and addicting and healthy!

Sometimes investigating our feelings and behaviors is the hardest thing to do.  Our disturbance makes us feel moody, off balance, uncertain.  Soon enough the negative (dark) emotions overtake the good light and energy from our always decaying bodies.  They weigh heavy on our heart, spirit, soul, that we can hardly function sometimes.  Feelings can become a physical sickness if the root of the disturbance is never brought to light. It can be terminal by accident, homicide or suicide, or death by utter heartbreak.

Anger.  Fear.  Worry.  Guilt.  Shame.  Jealousy.  Envy.  Self loathing. Insecurity.  These are our enemies.  This is stress and anxiety right there.  These are our demons that have to be conquered to feel well emotionally.  And what do we do?  We keep feeding them.  We allow them to reside inside of ourselves for long periods of time.  The energy suckers just keep getting bigger and bigger creating havoc and conflict and covering up our actual strong, beautiful, amazing selves.

Some people think our emotions are impossible to be rid of because they are a part of our being, our core.  And some say I am asking too much.   The nay-sayers swear emotions are created by something not in their control.  Serotonin or a person did it too us.  Not so grasshopper, not so.  If you can imagine the worst, the way you are, you can imagine the best!  You have always had full control but no one ever told you that.  They said you were sick, or a hopeless sinner.  They judged you with their vivid imagination.  And you allowed your imagination to see the same bullshit someone else told you was wrong.  Your thinking, feelings, emotions…all learned imaginary beliefs, or made up by yourself.

Our God-given purity is so encased in negative and disruptive emotions we hardly know our true selves anymore.  We begin to act out.  Alcohol, pot, and anti-depressant abuse takes over until our brains are so nicely flat-lined, we just don’t care anymore.  We become apathetic to our living situations. Our hell.  We get use to it.  It becomes as real as anything solid to us.  My message is that we are held back only by our limited belief systems.  Me…you…all of us are in this together.  Most of us have indulged in the feel-good quick fix, am I lying?

If we learned how to deal with our troubling emotions, and allowed ourselves to be completely honest, we would all be walking around free with a heart full of passion and a head full of gratitude instead of all of this stress and anxiety.

I want you to do something (please).  Take your most troublesome emotion.   Name one.  Look closely at what it is, and what it means.  Do you own it or is it a lie you have accepted into yourself?  For example, if you are walking around with a heavy heart of guilt, or shame, put it up to the light of day and take a good hard look at it.  Do you own that?  Do you deserve a lifetime of self-abuse because you are to be ashamed of yourself, or guilty for some infraction during your life?  Did you do it deliberately?  Is it something you can change?  Was your intention to harm some one or some thing?  If not, what, exactly, are you holding onto the shame or guilt for???

Are you filled with fear and anxiety?  What is going on there I wonder?!  Look inside, you know it, you remember everything.  Once you find the Truth in the emotion your symptoms will diminish instantly because you will know exactly what to do to ‘solve’ the problem, or you may there is nothing to do about it at all.  Inside of your true core self you will find you are innocent, safe, and in control of everything, and the renewed power feels GREAT!

When you finally allow the truth to surface in the face of your feelings, you will be AMAZED at how beautiful, and wonderful, the Truth really is!  You were never suppose to give up!  The subject is even crazy to consider, isn’t it?  If you are so foreign to the rest of us humans and you care to punish yourself forever that is another matter.  Then you have to go inside and find out why you beat yourself so harshly for your human frailties.  Sure, figure out what it is you need to change about yourself.  Admit it.  Own it.  And now stop it.  Done.  It really is that simple, and you really do have that much control over yourself.  Have you given yourself life for this infraction?  Is that appropriate?   We are but a sum of learned thinking and feeling.  We are better than whatever that looks and feels like.

Through the ages we have been brainwashed by either pharmaceutical commercials or religious organizations to believe we have no control over our emotional or physical well being.  That God or drugs will save us, nothing else.   I am saying we are trained, generation before generation since the beginning of time that we are NOT to depend on our own good common sense!  We are sinners!  We are Sick!  Only GOD or Effexor will bring you back to life, depending on your belief system.   The trouble is, these are lies for most of the population in emotional trouble!   Our very own girl (or boy) inside is pure, healthy, fit, powerful, confident, and in control of everything.   Not only that, we are really filled with love, compassion and JOY!  In every generation before us higher powers have tried (and really succeeded didn’t they?) to take our gift of free will (control over selves) away in the name of power, control, money.  W to believe in something other than ourselves and that is the worst mistake a spirit can make…believing it!

The more lies, secrets, shame we stuff, the more we lose of that better part of ourselves.   The more we lose our light.

Let’s look at another emotion you may be harboring, driving yourself crazy with.  Anger.  I was once told by a mentor of mine, years ago, that any anger I hang onto, is anger at myself and myself alone.  I said that makes no sense.  Someone did me wrong, robbed me, and I can be angry, right?  She said, “Right.”  For a minute.  Then you deal with it, talk about it, get it out in the open – or end something you have no control over.  Anything after that is you, and you need to see what you are so mad at yourself for.  Chances are it will be something like you picked him, or stayed too long, or didn’t speak up, or could have moved and didn’t…you get my meaning.  All emotions belong solely to the beholder.  Think about the last time you were angry for a long period of time at someone, or some situation.  It stuck to you like a stickly black toxic poison and you allowed it to stay a while.  I’ll tell you why.  You did something wrong and were mad at yourself.  Done.  Owning your stuff is the key to ending the free rent for enemy feelings.  The next thing to do is forgive yourself and decide to do it even better next time.  Learn, let go, live.  We are born to make mistakes, we are not A mistake!

But you see here is the problem:  Many of us were raised in situations that created negative tapes in our heads.  We learned to play these tapes, over and over and over in our own little vulnerable minds, beating the living life out of ourselves, because of these messages we learned to think, “I am stupid.”  “I am ugly.”  “I am too ____.”  or my favorite of all, “I am _____,”.  Name your judgment because that is all it is…a learned judgment.  They are not facts.  They have no power because they are not real.  They are the figment of the imagination, typically brought on by an experience, an outside judgment, or a series of experiences that made our minds add one and one and come up with something not true.  And then we feed that to oblivion sometimes.

Today is a good day to take a peek at what is really going on inside.  Pull out any emotion you choose, and decide you are done feeling it.  Look at it carefully, examine all sides.  If it is yours, do something about it.  If it is not yours, or if it is not a proven fact, shift your imagination to something else.  Something better for yourself.  It all starts with a new thought, the seed of everything.

Wishing everyone reading this love, peace and light.

Cherylann Thomas

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Cherylann Thomas is a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association operating a successful hypnotherapy practice in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Skype Service is available.

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Who is Your REAL Enemy?

When referring to enemies we often think they are the people who work against us, in social or employment situations perhaps. Enemies can be dangerous beings, creating problems for us in our communities, or work; and even family situations.  We don’t need or want enemies in our circles because to allow enemy-folk to linger around we can soon begin to experience self-doubt, confusion,  loss of energy, until finally there is loss of reputation in some cases.

But who is your real enemy?  

Dare to think of your enemies differently.  I suggest all of your enemies live within yourself.  Yep.  I said that. People seem to be completely unaware of how much stress weighs on our minds and bodies.  Stress comes from the enemy, and I’ll get to just what that is in a minute.  When we allow the enemy to reside inside of ourselves for any length of time without doing anything about it, even allowing it to grow…like a bad weed, we experience the exact same torturous sensations as if someone else had done damage to us.

The enemy are: Worry, Fear, Anger, Resentment, Shame, Guilt, Jealousy, Envy, Self-loathing, Rage.

Never under-estimate these enemies possibly residing in you!  The dark black energies can be absolutely powerful, torturing your mind with racing thoughts, self-delusions, constant tension.  Sometimes the extremes of these emotions lead people into serious depression and anxiety, requiring medication to try to dull some of the pain; sometimes worse, they choose suicide.  Sometimes the EMOTIONAL enemies can turn into an actual physical pain throughout the body, due to all of that stress being carried around.  Some lash out at others, all the way to murder.

People’s emotions create a lot of drama and trauma in this world so I beg to say they are important to deal with.

Whether you tend to beat on yourself, or lash out at others, the result is exactly the same.  Weakness, low self-esteem, extremely sensitive, unfocused thoughts, foggy brain and I could go on with the symptoms of ‘not dealing with feelings.’ If we don’t understand and deal with our own alarming feelings then we tend to push them away…down…down onto our precious subconscious mind who wants us healthy, happy, and free!

Sometimes the feelings get pushed down so much drugs (legal and street) or alcohol is needed to relieve the emotional pain. And yet the pain persists, eventually.

All the while our unconscious power-mind keeps attempting to get through to your conscious, critical mind.  The conscious mind is not who you are.  It is what you have learned.  This is what any other situation would call brain-washing.  We are conceived with the unconscious mind…providing us instinct and all we need at that birthing time…and would follow us to our death and crossing over.  This part of our new us feel our mothers first in the womb.

Then our conscious mind was born…learning how to be…Was your mom anxious?  Depressed?  Did she fly off in a rage every now and then?  What enemy was your mother struggling with?  Chances are you have invited the same bugger to live inside of you!  Perhaps you invited the stranger in after a serious life trauma, a loss, a death.  Were you raised to think you were a little more entitled than anyone else?  You may suffer with the enemy of jealousy, envy, and rage.  Maybe your family was poor, and stressed, and had no coping skills themselves, so allowed the enemies of all kinds to rage on in the circle.

What would happen if you agreed the enemy prevents you from THRIVING?  Would you be more willing to unload it?  Fix it?  Accept it?

The really interesting thing about these enemies is that we do not need them to survive!  Worried about your mortgage?  How about your children doing poorly in school?  Is your job at risk?  Think about this for a moment…you do not need the worry in these (or any) situation!  The worry is going to change nothing.   You can listen and respect the worry for what it is, but you don’t need to pack your bags and live in the worry to exist!  Let the worry go and get to work at what has to be tended to instead!

Sometimes the best looking families, the ones with all of the houses and cars and boats and vacations and 2.5 children and a little designer dog hold the darkest secrets of them all.  They learn how to put that shiny smile on for all of the world to see and envy, only to find inside is a hideous secret no one dares talk about.  You can bet mom is pill popping to deal and dad is indulging in a little too much whiskey in such a mess.  The children are acting out by indulging in risky behaviors…you know the families.  Sometimes the most beautiful looking family has the ugliest secrets.

I’ve said before and I’ll probably say it a lot, we have at least two notable minds, our conscious mind, and our unconscious mind.  Our unconscious mind is the holder of our first seed, the holder of all of our truths, whether we want to face them or not, and the part of ourselves that will allow you to soar…if you pay attention.  The unconscious mind keeps us safe while we are driving in a daydream (trance).  She or he will knock loudly on your conscious door if there is danger ahead…but we have to pay attention to it or risk regretting doing something.

Our unconscious mind does not like being stuffed upon, or drugged.  She loves to be listened to, and strengthens us every time we practice doing this and acting on what it is we must do, in spite of how hard it is. It’s our conscious mind, the one we think with right now that gets us in trouble every time. The one that is first critical and judgmental, ask questions later.  This is the mind that has been trained since our birth on how to think and feel…by our guardians.  Unless you have had a very strong, independent unconscious mind keeping your conscious mind in good moral and healthy check, we are at risk for mental illness when we let the enemy control our conscious mind.

Sometimes the energies of fear or anger or shame get so overwhelming, we don’t know where to begin to actually deal with something.

Listen to your enemies No enemy can do as much damage to your mental well-being more than your own emotions out of check. 

To find your advanced, beautiful, strong, and powerful self, I suggest you start by paying attention to your feelings.  As soon as an emotion comes over you, ask yourself what this is…what is it about?  Get real with it.  If your normal response is to push down unpleasant things, you are at extreme risk of mental illness problems down the road.  Of course some things can be let go, and we never feel it or let it disturb us again.  I’m not talking about those feelings, I’m talking about the chronic ones.  The one’s that keep you down and away from peace of mind and happiness.

I’ve said before, we need to feel it, to heal it.  Once you find that warrior courage to look inside and find what it is holding you back, and honestly take care of the matter once and for all, the breathtaking emotion of freedom will literally knock you off your feet.  I promise.

 

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