Does a Psychopath or Malignant Narcissist live in your world? Get out!
I saw a client today, it was her 5th and final session with me (she stopped smoking). She did so well at the stop smoking, I suggested she use her other paid sessions to work on something else.
So, she wanted to work on her anger. Two weeks ago she told me she saw a Medium, and this medium was so good, so on target…and she seemed to know her husband so well. Turns out, the medium told her that her husband has had two long affairs over the 37 years they had been married. She gave one of the ‘affairs’ a name, Ava (as in Gabor, I wondered right away?) Anyway, the other name was Sheila. Details galore! The years, what they did, where they did it…all of it. If this medium is for real, she needs to be on television and very rich.
I don’t doubt what my clients tell me, I have to go by what they say. So when she first told me about the medium a couple of weeks ago I really didn’t put a lot of stock into it, one way or another. What mattered was how my client was reacting to the news of her husband having multiple affairs and now, as they inch into their 70’s, she has this huge trauma going on.
These messages of sexual liaisons would never have been allowed in her mind if she didn’t already have a history with this subject. Delore’s husband did have an affair in the 80’s, she met the woman, she gave her husband a choice, he picked her. As far as she was concerned, problem over.
Until along came a spider…
So, it was easy to believe, especially with all of those details, right?
My client (Delores, not her real name of course) said she has gone through all of the bank statements, all of the cell records to 2002, everything…she almost hired a p.i. but since these ‘affairs’ have been over since 2010, what is the P.I. going to find that she can’t find?
She found nothing.
My client is tortured. I could see it on her face today that she was going to lose it if she didn’t get answers. She said she would stay with her husband of 37 years, she loves her life, the cabin up at the lake, the kids…all of it has been going so well! She does need to know for sure. She insists she won’t be lied to…that’s all he has to do, confess. She’ll stay with him, she resolved, if he would just come clean!
She asked her husband if it was true, did he have other affairs? He didn’t get angry, he just said no, never happened. .She pushed. No! He swore up and down she was wrong (interestingly, she didn’t tell him WHO told her).
Her unconscious mind knows why she didn’t tell him all of the details or who told her this, IT WAS A LIE. Our unconscious minds know the truth, always. If you are not speaking up, it may be a lie, or wrong, in some way.
As things were finally dawning on me, on what was going on, I saw the same look on this woman’s face that I had years before. The look of torture and despair over being told something about someone else and being completely duped.
Only, it was me who was cruelly gossiped about…I was a victim not unlike my friend when a psychopath in my world destroyed almost all of my relationships. I just have no idea of what was said about me, that caused people I loved to leave me.
I still don’t know, but today I don’t care. If people are so willing to believe the worst in another human being, without CHECKING IT OUT, then they also need some help and I can’t be bothered with followers like that anyway, anymore.
As we talked today I decided to gather more details. You will not believe what she told me. Her friend, “Donna” is a lesbian. she is living with a woman named Brenda. Brenda is very controlling, she has told her lover, Donna, to put her ageing mother in a care home. Donna did not think this was right, and managed to say no to her lover in this regard.
Guess who the Medium was? Brenda. Brenda, who is lovers with Donna who is friends with my client, Delores. She sat her down at the kitchen table and told her she was a medium and could ‘see things’ (first of all, don’t mediums work with the dead?). She saw her husband having these affairs, she gave details, and every time Delores would say, noooo, that couldn’t have happened, he was home every night, every weekend! She tried not to believe…but Brenda is a crafty one all right…(aren’t they all)…she said it happened at work, at lunches, in the closets, that type of thing.
Well, let me just say she was so good my client 100% believed her and has been going through hell these last weeks, as she is giving up smoking, trying to find the evidence to put in front of her husband and say, “HERE, THERE IT IS, YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATING ON ME ALL OF OUR MARRIED LIFE!” Fess up! She begged.
When Delores walked into my studio today I saw stress all over her face. She was beside herself. Nothing was working out, she can’t get the evidence.
That’s when I asked her for more details and when she told me of the triangle relationship going on (she is co-dependent with her friend Donna, because she doesn’t find it easy to meet friends and she likes Donna’s company. Brenda is just the ‘lover’ in the background).
She does not want to believe her only friend of three years, Donna, had any part of this at all. She said Donna was there, at the table and she was as surprised at how the ‘visions’ were unfolding as anyone.
Can you guess the roles of this psychopathic dynamic?
It starts with the psychopath (Brenda) who always has a side-kick ‘supply’ to keep in control (Donna) and then she uses Donna to get at others. To destroy relationships. Because that is how they operate. They are evil to the core and they seem to be in this world for no other reason other than to create trauma and drama in their friends and relationships lives.
They love to see the hurt. The pain in the face is priceless to the psychopath. And to see this poor, 70 year old woman scrounging around her house to find evidence of affairs by her husband of 37 years???
I asked my client this question…I said, “Let’s say Brenda is right. Everything she saw and heard in her ‘visions’ was the truth. Your husband had affairs up until 2010. Suppose that is all true.”
And then I asked her, “Who and why would anyone tell you that, other than to hurt you to the core of your being?” For what purpose was this psychic reading?
The light went on.
After we did some internal work Delores left my studio strong and free. Her husband never had an affair with these ‘ladies’ and Brenda is a danger…maybe so is Donna if Donna cannot see things better than she has been seeing them.
I suggested my client have a long talk with her husband, and if she cannot, then she needs to ask herself why. Is she wanting to hang onto this co-dependent relationship triangle?
We shall see, it is difficult to remove yourself from people you have grown to love. It’s the most difficult thing in the world to do…say goodbye to something YOU thought was real. Relationships with the psychopath are never real. They lack feelings. The only emotions psychopaths can really experience are rage, jealousy, and false pride. Other than that, they are empty beings who are created to create problems for others.
To the psychopath, people are simply supply to feed the urge to hurt others and watch the squirming of emotional pain.
But as she was leaving I suggested that if it came to believing her husband of 37 years, or this woman she really knows nothing about, then we need to do some work on her loyalties and why she is so easily led. She agrees.
Do you know a psychopath? Have you ever been supply for a psychopath?
It is easier to fool the masses, than it is to convince them they have been fooled. Einstein. I love that quote and can’t use it enough, especially in cases like this.