I am overwhelmed and have much anxiety. It does not come from within me, it comes from the energy of others. Judgement. I can feel it as if it was in my face. I feel the earth shake the energy has spread.
In my awakening to the soul spirits of Mary 1 and Mary II I have quite the story and no one is allowed to believe me…it is not written in the text we study. I’m shocked myself.
I am watching 20/20 and it’s about Diane Downs who shot her three children. She was a psychopath. Most psychopaths do not murder outright, they do it the slow and murder by proxy way, suicide. They’ll twist the story and make their victim someone no one will like. So everything the poor sap says becomes attached to that thought that some evil mother, or sister, or father, or brother said. People don’t expect family would lie about their own, but it goes on all of the time. When people are unhappy they are going to lash out. This woman lost her senses completely, it used to be rare but more women are unhappy today than ever. I believe the build up over many lifetimes of oppression will finally blow, and now is as good a time as any to finally feel what is real.
I am always very sensitive, which is a good thing for the Spirit to stay sensitive, and yet it has been used against me time and time again. Sensitivity is seen as a weakness and the vultures come out and try to suck some emotions out of you by twisting your reality in projection. Vampires.
The judge will gaslight any situation to suit themselves without a thought or care in the world to what that image is doing to him or her.
Smearing of character is what they did to my father and son as well in religion/government policies. The highly sensitive are perceived as being the problem in the world. My family, The Addict, the Criminal, and the Mental case, Supposedly. In the judges eye.
Only I don’t feel off balance. I know what mental feels like it’s a nightmare. But now seeing clearly none of my problems ever came from within me. Issues comes from outside of us when not allowed to play the way we want. When someone speaks to me like I am a moron, or stupid, or they are just so disrespectful and they don’t even know me, they lack within themselves and see the weakness in me. Blinded by judgement.
When first waking you may feel intense rage over what has happened to us and continues as if sheep to the slaughter. Not many can feel the Tsunami’s coming this Revelation. How will folks cope with the emotions?
Emotions are who we all are, and I believe the system is taking our senses away and so we try to push those feelings away. In doing so I cannot believe how cruel people have learned to be with each other. I honestly just can’t stand people anymore. I cannot watch a television commercial, or news media explaining the news.
But I am awake. I can feel everything. I woke up to my Spirit and I know who and what I have been in all of my lifetimes. Sadly, the religious and political corruption since the days of 0 have caught up with us. No one believes in themselves, and certainly not each other.
I suggest if I say something, no matter what it is, you just believe what I say. What right does anyone have to say, no, that’s not true, you’re crazy.
And then all of the lifetime of triggers over the ages just wells up in me, and since my wokeness someone else gets it. I won’t hang onto people’s rage I will give it back x 10’s harder.
I have had enough. Leave people alone. Stop disbelieving and become person who either wants to know more, or doesn’t. It does not matter why does everyone have to beat up the person off the wall?
Let’s say I am mentally ill, with the labels the psychiatrists have been given since Nazi Freud. I know this because of my awakening. I know everything in history that is a lie and I feel helpless sitting here trying to tell folks just how twisted of a life we live.
How many others before me have tried to wake the world only to be shut down by ignorance or well ordained slaves.
The fears, shames, have driven the mental imagination into the darkness. Bear with me a moment, but more people are greedy, selfish, envious, jealous, perverted, self-comforting judgemental little pricks. I say this in the kindest possible way. I am awake and so I see, hear, and feel everything under the corruption.
You have no idea who you are people. It’s not this. Ego has taken over in a very nasty way. People have found ways to survive emotionally and financially in ways that are dooming humanity and the planet. If you cannot feel the pressure cooker you are more asleep than the rest. The stress is beyond heavy, and turning violent. Pay attention to your surroundings and let your real feelings be felt. This is the connection to Source if you want it. It must be felt, not thunk.
Without emotional intelligence (feelings) we can only count on what people tell us to be true, or lies. Anyone can tell us anything and if it makes sense to another dot we knew about, it must be true. The picture is incomplete.
Now that I am awake there is nothing to do but bring Light on the corruption every time it’s in front of me. I can’t help myself. Gathering enemies everywhere. I just can’t believe I am seen as the liar, or the insane one. My words trigger some into a rage. Like I am the one putting poison on them with a Truth I am getting from within myself. A feeling only I could have, the same way everyone else has their own impressions, and feelings about things. My news feels like trouble. And it is.
I too lived a Sleepwalkers for 58 years. I know I thought I was feeling but no, I was never feeling myself only others. We learn to turn off emotional pain but we need to to feel in Spirit Development.
Another part of my experience is psychology and the New Age Movement. Jung brought along the positive thinkers and personality judges, and believe if they think their way to riches it will come. They think “Poor people poor spirit.” Or, “Smoker? Stay away from me!” Or, a drinker or drugger is diseased…and you know what? They always will feel sick and weak with that attitude placed heavy on them. Deal with the root, never the behavior.
Stay positive! The positive thinker has no issues too look at, and are cold and cruel to ones who are crying in pain. They will be sending prayers because the energy is stay away from me. I don’t want to catch your problem. Be good or you make me look bad.
Bringing up unfortunate Truths makes the PT think the negative news will stick and change their life. It does if you are emotionally attached to negative news. Never mind thinking – feeling is the creator. You can look at feelings and figure them out without hanging onto the surface feeling of fear, shame, or anger. You can deal with it if you want. Otherwise these feelings are grow into monsters.
My perceptions see corrupted brainwashed good spirits I used to know. IN judgement folks have not rejected anything I have called as Truth, all of these decades…they were trained to reject the Truth by a very dark person. This goes on everywhere.
I have been in a state of PTSD with my awakening to my soul. Label/ Judge whatever you want. Thinking anyone is flawed makes the heart grow cold and creates the misery in the target. In my awakening I can feel the physical transformation in me when I am judged. Sudden I feel ugly, weak, small…for no reason other than being in the presence of a judge.
This is why life has become impossible being awake among people who want to teach me. I see everyone’s good strong spirit and assume the best of intentions because mine are pure but it sure feels like folks bother others to stop feeling for self.
Like my father and son I am like a child and my mood is happy in most cases. I don’t make myself this way, I am this way. And now that I believe in myself I am glad I am not still sleeping, but it hurts.
I can only see the good in people while they see the worst of intentions in me. I am not believed. I’m nuts.
The reality is psychopaths working in so-called medicine gives me a picture and it is never very flattering. The media puts it out what a behavior looks like and there you are forever more. The imagination is immediately trained to react with rejection anything that does not make sense outside of the learned box. How did this get taught? It was how the child is treated; we learn by example, not academics.
So no one ever tries to make sense of what they don’t know, or never heard before. The judge concludes intelligence. That’s was Jesus message. Wisdom of fellow spirits is lost for the sake of textbook Gods. Once you graduate you are considered smart enough. I believe the Judge learns nothing because they know everything. The more educated the further away from emotional intelligence I have found. They cannot see what they were not educated to see.
I cannot communicate with anyone everyone is so unapproachable, I feel it all. At the risk of hurting feelings, which is your truth to listen. Whose senses am I affecting?
The channel changes if I try to introduce something that does not make sense immediately from memory of what was learned. Textbook brainwash no intelligence can evolve in a group think educational system.
I give up on trying to get folks to believe in themselves, my work is good enough without stressing over anyone else while I get pounced on for my different view.
I am writing for the sake of my spirit. I am praying to humanity to please stop and realize we are being manipulated daily in the media to turn on one another so we don’t group up. That is why they are dividing us and making each other turn on one another.
It is all by design, my life was build for this to reveal, put to light corruption. I know you don’t want to live like this, spirit, but to get to a better place we first have to agree this one sucks.
No one told me about corruption in all religion, politics, government, the justice departments, policing, social services, non profit organizations, families…I come as a life long witness with the Truth on my side. I know internal secrets because my situation has helped me end up in places I could never have empathized about in my old world. I come with great empathy, I need people to start reaching out to each other. Don’t count on government or churches to take care of your emotional needs, you must do it.
I have to use my own senses to see the maltreatment of people and the planet. The more I use the senses the more I see my life was build for exposing what’s been going on. I could have shut down but I decided to stay awake in spite of the risks and pain of having no one to believe in me or my story. Like I am a liar all over again. No. I’m not.
This is my Ego time. My imagination while I am alive. I get to play it out how I see fit. This does not make me mental, this makes me free in my own mind, body, and soul.
Follow along if you want…if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask! I prefer that than the silence of the judge who has already decided what I am all about. 🙃
If anyone triggers you bring it all the way up and deal. Come to your senses now so you don’t have to count on Emergency Broadcast Systems to let you know what is coming.
If you get anything from me, please Be Prepared to begin a new kind of life. It will take much pain to get there. Pardon moi for being so prickly in my approach I just go by the seat of my soul in my expressions. Judge how you see things.
IN short let’s stop blocking other people in what they want to play out in Ego. It gets in the way of a joyful life when people look at other people like they are not even human or worthy of a hello.
The body and thinking dies, what is left is the emotional feelings we felt…and emotions we carry life to life to life creating the same kind of life time and time again.
I believe in me, and I am here to teach you to believe in you. I hope you can after everything you have been through with your feelings. I wish you come back to trusting them in your favor, always. In order to stop judging others you must first stop judging yourself. Let it go. Nothing matters but how you feel. Never give up on you and try not to have expectations of others. You don’t need a reason to love. Just love.