When Will We Learn?

In my early career I was an instructor and branch manager for a large government contract career centre in Vancouver, BC, servicing employable people who happened to be on income assistance.  Our mandate was to design, develop and deliver life and employment skills people who were collecting welfare.

This type of business was and continues to be popular because kids who fall short in our current educational system often grow up to be a huge expense to our government in the social services, mental health and criminal justice systems.  Health is also affected when we lack life skills as stress is proven to attack our bones, muscles and organs.

I suggest we change two fundamental areas of the current curriculum requirements:  Add life skills and forget about the 12 grade tier completely. Throw away the current status quo since it creates such a stressful environment for children who do not succeed in all subjects all of the time.

Leaving social training up to parents isn’t working.

Sadly but realistically many parents lack life skills and pass down their ignorance to their children.  There is no point in blaming as all of our coping and life skills are mainly ‘unintentionally’ learned as families blindly struggle to exist without a map to follow.

So we need an overhaul of the entire philosophy and delivery of how we civilize society in a fair system that suits all styles of learning, talents, gifts, and shortcomings.   Only, they won’t be looked at as failures anymore — we will have a system where kids can find a path that does work for them.

Example of Life Skills Classes, Suggested Beginning at Age Two:

Hard Life Skills

• Nutrition
• Earth Food Production (Gardening)
• Personal Hygiene
• Housework Skills (Time for everyone to be responsible for their home environment don’t you think?)
• Fine and Gross Motor Skills Development (I.E. skills to use every day electronics & physical fitness)
• Creative Mind Development
• Logical Mind Development

Soft Life Skills

• Self Respect
• Sharing
• Stress Management
• Boundaries
• Personal Protection (Abuse)
• Communication Skills
• Time Management
• Personal Responsibility & Accountability
• Problem Solving
• Talent Investigation 

Of course my ideas are not perfect but I suggest we stop focusing on what our children’s perceived ‘weaknesses’ are compared to the masses and find and develop what their strengths are.  A system that advances the student to their official educational program after they have completed foundations for life training.  We need a flexible system where we learn curriculum designed to suit our talents, personality, intelligence, and emotional I.Q.  Doesn’t this make better sense?  

If we are to follow the same rules and regulations out there in the world we need to teach life skills early on and no longer assume all families teach their young way we want our fellow beings to behave around us.  I also happen to think all parents could use some parenting education but that’s another blog!

Why a new solution has not been delivered yet is beyond me.   In my experience too many people are thinking and believing they are stupid or do not measure up somehow because they did not succeed in the current ridged structure that doesn’t encourage individualism.

Imagine how much better society would be if all children learned social skills before they become social problems.  What would it be like for our children in school if they were allowed to develop their innate talents and passions?

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim., CH,t

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Fear and Anxiety Resolved – Try This!

Most of us are aware of anxiety attacks and understand they can be life debilitating.  Sensations of panic will come out of the blue and paralyze the body, scramble the mind, even stifle the lungs or throat.  I know exactly what it feels like to hold up an entire air ambulance because even though I was drugged to the hilt with pain and anxiety medication (I was suffering a burst tubal pregnancy) I could not get inside that little aircraft due to a panic attack.  The medics finally had to knock me out with a strong sleeping drug and even still I was awake and panicking inside – I just couldn’t move my body for the drugs.   I held up another airplane a few years later in Cozumel, Mexico due to panic.  It’s embarrassing and keeps many good people stuck in their homes like prisoners if the solution is not found.

What causes this?  There could be a number of reasons for panic or anxiety attacks, including a ‘unconscious knowing’ of something a person is unwilling to bring up to the conscious. Other sensitive souls pick up the energy (moods) of others and feel those moods like it is their own, causing unconscious confusion leading to anxiety.  There are a few shaky ones who are intuitively psychic and just don’t know it.  But the most common cause of panic is the imagination.  Our imaginations get us into trouble because as a species we tend to believe external mental conditioning and take on false belief systems that work against the person’s true journey.  As a species we lie to ourselves, make up stuff that can be just the craziest idea but accepted as truth, and literally make the mind and body feel sick simply because the imagination is feeding false information to the unconscious.  Our unconscious mind knows and remembers everything – but it does not know the difference between fantasy and reality thoughts – and will accept anything you tell it and respond accordingly.  Intuitively.  Unconsciously our bodies are going to react to what the critical conscious mind is telling it.  Anxiety that occurs the first time can lead to a lifetime of difficulties if not dealt with early.  

It is Not Hopeless!  Try this one technique at home –

If you suffer with a specific anxiety attack (public speaking, airplanes, driving) before you venture outside take a moment to close your eyes and visualize with your mind’s eye doing all you want to do and get done. Creatively sense yourself being calm, confident, and in control as you amaze your audience with your speech, or fly in that airplane, or drive over that bridge.  Use your senses (auditory, visual, feeling, tasting, and smelling) in your imagination pretend vision.  In other words, using only your imagination map out your feared event as if you are already doing it successfully!

This easy exercise only takes a few moments and is amazing in its treatment for many types of anxiety.  The mind needs to be fit – to be harnessed, happy, healthy.  Hypnosis works with the mind by using the right hemisphere where emotions, ideas, and creative imagination are held.  Just practicing this deliberate visualization can improve all areas of your life.  In our culture the right brain has been neglected. We are trained from grade one to focus on left brain logic, memory, order.  If we do not work with the other part of ourselves we can become unaware of why are bodies and minds are ‘off balance.’  We are all guilty of using our imaginations to scare ourselves senseless – it is the culprit that gets the body into trouble, and the imagination is what will restore the sensory balance for physical and mental relief.

Some people who suddenly feel anxious due to an accident or event can have their problem cured in one session. Others have more work to do but a full recovery is expected. Hypnotherapy is an empowerment and self-control tool for life.  It is fast, it is safe, it is lovely and it works!   If you are interested in having help with your anxiety we welcome enquiries.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim,CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist Registered with the Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She works out of West Kelowna, British Columbia passionately working with issues such as depression, anxiety, grief, loss, and abandonment.  Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are also amazing mental fitness processes to lose weight, stop smoking, and tackle any habit the beholder wants to be rid of.  Please see our website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca AND like us on Facebook FOR DAILY INSPIRATION!  http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy .  Shares, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! xxoo

EXPOSING THE NARCISSIST

Are you feeling weak, anxious, depressed or stressed for nothing you can put your finger on?  You could be in the orbit of a malignant Narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a very real problem in today’s society and these extremely disturbed beholders will create much drama and trauma in the wake of their numerous intimate and social relationships throughout their lifetime.

No matter how smart you are, they have a genius way of making non narcissists feel confused, anxious, and stuck with them.

Sadly, if you have allowed yourself to be victim in the clutches of a narcissist chances are you doubt your own good senses to the point you’ve completely lost your ability to see things objectively.  Truthfully.  I’d like you to remember that you are capable.  You can solve problems.  You are okay but you have got to get away.

Hiding from Truth reduces our natural ability of feeling in control, strong, self-confident and capable.

It is very difficult to recognize the signs of a narcissist until the damage has been done. Please take this article as fair warning.

Narcissists push the buttons of emotionally reactive (normal) people and then watch the drama unfold in glee. This is how they get fed.  They need your emotional energy to survive because they have none.  But even still you will tend to only see the things you have in common.  You have so many things in common because the N will mirror his image for your pleasure until you are sucked right in.  So you want it to work.  Will it to work.  And all too often good folks are willing to give up their very identity in an attempt to make this (hopeless) relationship work until they are bled completely dry.

Symptoms of NPD

Narcissists secretly (sometimes overtly) feel superior to the rest of the general population.  They tend to have a lot of false pride — pride in things they did not earn themselves.  They will be jealous of your success and relationships and create mind-boggling interference (character assassination causing family, employment, or community & social alienation).  Narcissists are often sexually over-active, entitled, demanding, critical of others, and have cold views of people and the world.  N’s see people with feelings as weak, and make delicious meat out of their supply to feed themselves with.  They do not care who their supply is — even their own children are feed for the malignant narcissist vampire; so why do you think they would love you more?

Narcissists are men and women. They are CEO’s of corporations, volunteer or political organizations; they love to manage other people’s money and businesses…and they are heads of families. If they are not the leader they are the sidekick of someone with more standing than themselves in an attempt to morph themselves into the power they crave.

These beings do not seek mental health help (remember there is nothing wrong with them), but they sure can create self-doubt if their victim is not strong enough to ward off such brilliant manipulation.  More often than not the N’s target was already raised by one or more narcissists and find the abusive cycle familiar, comfortable…and so they dive in to the same kind of abusive relationship…again and again and again…until they (we) finally get it.

I was raised by two of them, and one sibling out of four made my life a living hell while I was engaged in co-dependent abusive relationships. I didn’t get it until I lost everything to the whims of the malignant narcissists I grew up with.  I was 50 when my mother died making sure she got the last word, leaving angry and very sad family drama in her wake. I finally see the insanity of my relationship with the narcissist. It can’t work. It is a co-dependent reign of confusion that will never end until one of the two participants finally leaves.

Trouble is, if you are repeatedly hurt and neglected and used and spoken ill of you may attract more of them in your adult years and you tend to stay in longer than is healthy or just go out and find new ones to abuse you.  It is like we become magnets for the same kind of abuse we experienced as younger, impressionable youths.

Who Are the Narcissists!?

Narcissists are your brother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, best friend, boss, coworker…there is no discrimination to be a narcissist.  NPD is as common as any other labeled mental illness and it is in the DSM as a psychiatric disorder. There are no medications for such a problem, however. The Narcissist lacks conscious feeling and there is no drug or treatment that can grow a conscious feeling from nothing.

Sometimes your narcissist will at first glance appear to be like a knight in shining armor; or a prince or princess charming, if you will. Your own good unconscious mind may pick up that something is wrong right off the bat; maybe you will act on it, but the N will cry, and need you.  Then the old critical conscious mind wins by ignoring those powerful intuitions we are all born with.   Very soon the charismatic mask will slide off and what you will find underneath of your new relationship is about as ugly as it gets.  But by then most long-term sufferers have completely stopped listening to themselves and their own good judgement.

We let the narcissist in and share our secrets, stories, ambitions, and weaknesses.  Ah, the narcissist loves your weaknesses!  When you stop being obedient the N will take your secrets and hold them up to the light of day for everyone to see in an attempt to shame you, guilt you, reduce you in the eyes of others.  The narcissist gets a sick pleasure feeding off of the fears and worries and shames of others.  They will twist your words as they project their own ugly minds on you…as if you think like that.  You don’t.  Trust yourself.  Trust yourself.  Can I say that again?

That’s why I suggest so frequently to not listen to gossip!  If you feed on talk about someone you know nothing about soon you very well could be that mouth’s next target.  You can count on being next.

We have somehow learned to stop listening to our own wise inner selves and sacrifice our emotional well-being as we keep the abusive cycle alive. When we ignore our own Truth we can count on something giving.  Inside of yourself you will create stress, anxiety, depression, drug or alcohol abuse as a way of coping the uncontrollable dance with a malignant narcissist.

It’s Time to Take Control

First, practice trusting your intuition before you trust anyone else.  Next, when you finally come to the realization you are in a dangerous relationship do not confront the narcissist.  It will be like reasoning with their cousin, the serial killing psychopath.  And, it will give them time to find a way to control you even more dangerously.  There is no point to confronting an N at all because they cannot change.  And things can get very very bad for you if you do not make the break quickly and quietly.  Tell a few close friends what is happening before the break.  Protect your good name, children if involved, and assets before you make your escape.

The NPD can destroy your reputation and emotional well-being so masterfully it rarely gets confronted by their active listening audience, or even the supply herself.  You don’t know what the hell is going on so what can you do?  You wonder what is wrong with you and you keep trying to fix yourself to be better.  You never will be good enough as long as you allow creatures like this into your psyche.  I realize we have to live among all people to get along but this is one person you do not want to get too close, or reveal your innermost secrets to.  Not if you don’t want to feel the shame and embarrassment when your personal laundry gets aired out in public later…when you no longer toe the line.

You Are Better Than You Think!

You have the information.  Now it is up to you to give your head a shake and ask yourself if you are the problem, or is someone else making you the problem?  I do not pussyfoot around with aggressive or passive aggressive abusers in my life anymore.  I just cannot afford the risk after already losing everything to the N’s of my past.  Whenever I come in contact with another narcissist (they are in every circle) I run, not walk the other way as fast as I can without causing damage to myself.  If I must be in the company of a narcissist I have a protective bubble all around me as I observe with caution.

Your own intuition will never lead you wrong.  Listen to your good and far wiser Truth and enjoy the freedoms of life you are offered.  Your journey is suppose to be yours without fear, remember that.

Whoever ends the codependent cycle of narcissistic abuse wins.  For your sake and safety, make sure it is you.

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Cherylann Thomas, BSc.Crim.,CH,t is a Registered Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist in Westbank BC, specializing in empowering her clients to emotional and mental freedom from abuse and trauma.  Helping her clients face the fear, worry, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, grief, loss and despair is what finally brings her clients peace, strength and a renewed zest for life.   Check out her website and facebook at

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

Another Broken Angel Grows New Wings! Hypnotherapy True Case That Will Even Get YOU Thinking!

This could be my story.  But it’s not.  I am but a conduit to an amazing transformation in a woman I want to share with you.  The background is very similar to my own so I feel blessed that I am able to witness yet another hypnotherapy miracle in action!  Be forewarned, you may cry while reading some of this story, but at the end you will feel tears of joy for this lady!

75 year old *Beth came to me utterly broken.  She was unable to speak almost, so very sick with emotional despair after the loss of her husband of some 55 years, preceding and following other piled up trauma that seemed impossible to work through and heal.  It has been five years since his death but her symptoms were not improving with time.

I prayed to our Universal God for help to work with this client who seemed so frail and lost sitting in my big chair at the studio. I secretly pray for help with all of my clients but this one I really wanted to see results as soon as possible.

Her story is alarming.  I do not believe in all of my years of counselling, life skills coaching, and as a Clinical Hypnotherapist to have heard such a horror story in a childhood background!  Sexual molestation from infancy to teenager.  Physical abuse.  Maternal neglect.  When Beth shared some of her stories with me I cried inside for that poor innocent child within this elderly, yet stunningly so youthful, lady before me.

Beth was somehow able to tuck all of her hurt and pain away for a life with her husband, whom she married when she was only 15 years old.  She never told *Doug that he actually saved her very life in that house of horrors she was raised in.  She didn’t tell him any of it until her parents were dead.  He would have killed them, that she knew.  She loved and appreciated her loving husband from saving her, loving her unconditionally, and protecting her for 55 years.  Together they made a home, raised children and grandchildren, and grew to depend on each other for everything.

She was 70 when he died.  Five years ago.  Her world collapsed although the death was expected.  During his dying journey, Doug, no matter how sick he was, got out of his bed and stood with his arms open to give his wife a hug in appreciation for her love and nursing.  He could barely lift his head up in the end.  But no matter what every night she would walk in to find him standing at the end of the bed wanting to hug his beloved wife.

And then he died.  My client was utterly and completely lost.  What can she do to survive the rest of her years when all of her life she had Doug to lean on!?  As it does in too many cases it really got deathly scary for my client.  Suicide ideation became a living nightmare. The trauma from childhood all rushed back as so often does in cases like this…compounded with her her lifeline, her husband, leaving her by dying…was just too much.  And just when you think this is all anyone could stand another worst case life event happened: Beth’s grandson (of twins) passed away suddenly at the tender age of 22!  Losses tend to pile up in enormous proportions for some souls.

I can’t remember how Beth found me, but she did.  Sitting in that chair the first day with her tears rolling down her face, stifling back sobs I so wanted to prove to her she was much more than all of the pain.   I told her my story.   Beth listened with wide eyes as I shared my own journey to self-actualization.  She saw me, sitting there, all fine and dressed and alive and thriving — and about to show her how to feel the same peace in her core, her heart.  I talked of my beloved deceased son,Trevor, who died a horrific death at the age of 25.  I told her the truth, that after his death people seemed to leave me in droves.  My own family.  I said I began to realize my family was never my real family…that I suffered emotional abuse and neglect from the time I was born and because it was all I knew I let it happen all the way up until my late 40s.  I shared how hypnotherapy connected me back to life.  Beth said she instantly believed I could help her and we began.

Beth first signed up for a series of hypnotherapy sessions designed to approach her unique challenges.  We had a lot of work to do so she committed herself to yet another series while her growth was emerging.  Ten sessions in all.   Before we began the progression to emotional wellness she made the decision that she wanted to, and was worth healing.  She had to be on board for emotional empowerment or none of this would work.  Beth’s ‘girl’ (unconscious strength, power, confidence and control) was ready to get down to business and she let her conscious critical mind take a rest as she explored and healed her incredibly wounded child within.

It took work to build a willingness to look at that what must be looked at.  But we got there.  Using various hypnosis therapies we got through the clutter, pain, extremely difficult emotional responses from life events.  Eventually, within a few weeks, Beth realized her own mission and internal power to make it happen.  After only a few hypnotic / therapy sessions she was amazed at what she was now feeling (energy, confidence, self-esteem, hope, faith, passion for life)!

She Prepares to Fly on her Own!

After Beth completed seven sessions she told me she was considering learning hypnosis and hypnotherapy to work with the elderly, especially those in hospice.   It seems all folks in pain and despair are offered by doctors these days are drugs to stunt feelings; to essentially just shut them up.  Nothing is done about the feelings and troubling emotions and anxiety that come with ageing.  The medical community just mask it all up and somehow think it will go away.  It doesn’t.  It never goes away if drugged.  Beth gets that now and wants to get out there to make a difference with her peers!

Beth has been intimately practicing hypnosis in my therapeutic chair, and the results are so empowering has now signed up to take a course in Vancouver to make herself a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist!  Will you please think about this for a moment and understand the magnitude of the healing in this soul?  75 year old Beth’s goal is to either work or volunteer to in hospice or palliative care using hypnosis to relieve the emotional pain that goes with dying!   I can assure you of this fact, Beth, if ANYONE can and will make this happen for her clients.  She is alive.  She is thriving…and because of her upcoming career she is going to continue to spread her angel dust every where she goes.  I am blessed to know this amazing woman!

People of trauma do make the best healers.  If they can find a way to recover emotionally and mentally they seem to want to give back the same gift.  That is how I found my way to my humble hypnotherapy practice.  Every day I get to go and work with people just like Beth and facilitate them back the life they were intended to have!  How FREAKING LUCKY can I get!!!

I have tears in my eyes tonight as today was the last professional hypnotherapy session I’ll have with Beth.  She is strong.  She is confident.  She has the internal power to make anything happen that she wants.  We decided to keep in touch and it will be my pleasure to continue to know this amazing amazing woman, who came from a place so painful even I couldn’t imagine; and yet is able to find a new life passion at 75 years of age.  THAT’S A MIRACLE FOLKS!

We are all miracles when we decide to heal the past.  God bless anyone in pain as they read this.  If you cannot afford hypnotherapy please go to YouTube (not the entertainment kind, that never lasts and barely anyone can be hypnotized in that fashion) and learn about the process for yourself.  Dr. Brian Weiss has some really good inductions you can gain peace from.  You will be amazed at how strong your mind is when you learn how to get rid of the old clutter and teach yourself to love and have self compassion instead of fear, guilt, worry, resentment and the uglies that have no place destroying an otherwise good life and potential journey.

Thank you Beth, for touching me so deeply with your life experiences.  You amaze me…I am in awe.  Doug is looking down on you and doing his happy dance for your new chapter in this lifetime.  That is a fact!

• Names and certain unimportant details have been altered to protect my client.

Note:  There are some countries/states/provinces who do not permit hypnotherapy to be used for depression and anxiety.  I guess those places want to support the local gazillion dollar pharmaceutical conglomerates.  Sorry for my cynicism in advance!  The good news is many licensed psychiatrists and psychologists have hypnotherapy certification as well, and are certainly allowed to work with trauma.  Please do some research.

Proven results!

“The greatest success in providing lasting change occurred with hypnosis (93% recovery after 6 sessions), followed by behaviour therapy (72% recovery after 22 sessions), and then psychotherapy (38% recovery after 600 sessions).” –Alfred A. Barrios, PhD in Psychotherapy Magazine, Volume 7, Number 1

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim.,CH,t is Registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in cases of depression, anxiety, fears & phobias, panic, grief, loss, abandonment, childhood trauma…as well as weight loss and other self-defeating habits you care to say goodbye to.  Call for more information by visiting her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca or like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

Under Construction

Reactions to stressful events or people can be the reason for a downfall.  The initial problem/situation will pass, but poor reaction and coping skills can make things much worse.  To protect yourself try not to emotionally react.  Have a bath, sip some wine, take a long run or walk, dunk your head in the toilet I don’t care.  Just don’t make any decisions that could affect you negatively later!   Doubling our problems is what we do when over-reacting, so save yourself the added pain and tend to yourself gently in stressful times.

We have the potential to use the imagination to build and live a happy life.  More often than not people use their own imagination to make themselves sick with heightened emotions of anger, resentment, worry, fear, guilt, shame even rage.  The most damage is done during this time period.  Some tend to react impulsively if the emotions take over too much leading to murder, suicide, and accidental death.  People can make extremely expensive mistakes socially, emotionally, and financially.

I am sure anyone reading this can remember a time that emotional reaction made a situation far worse than it had to be.  What if I said you don’t need those reactions to get the problem solved, and everyone walking away feeling fine?

Don’t Let Your Emotions Get in Your Way!

What if You Make a Permanent Decision on Incomplete information?

Stop.  Learn to breathe.  Communicate with folks.  Find stuff out.  Don’t assume as it truly does make an ASS out of U and Me.

My other message is other people’s reactions are not your problem.  I don’t care how folks typically respond to urgent situations, it’s not okay to allow yourself to be an emotional punching bag, or insignificant, not important, disposable.  People will always try to find a scapegoat for their mishaps, it’s your job to not allow it.

I’d love the same for you.  Save yourself from making things much worse, creating real emotional pain.  Avoid making ANY decisions in times of stress and anxiety.  And please, don’t tolerate someone else dumping on you during their meltdown.  Peace and love for all…

What if Your Wounds Lead You To Your Purpose?

What if there really is a good reason for our emotionally painful life experiences? What if it was to prepare us for our journey to come?

At the cell level of my being I understand pain, fear (terror), resentment, loneliness and even envy of what others had and I did not. I use to think I was one of the most unfortunate souls to walk the earth, the mother of a child who died. While I once said giving birth to a baby was painful; I soon learned I would experience even harsher torture when I had to give Trevor back 25 years later.

When I did begin to investigate to find out why I couldn’t seem to find any emotional peace in my life I realized that the image of myself was all wrong for me. I didn’t belong there. I was better than that. I didn’t fit in the not so merry place of victimland where “Oh Woes Me” could be heard for miles. After a while I never really felt comfortable in that role and I somehow sensed there had to be more for me.  I recalled when I was a 16 year old mess my stepmother looked in my eyes, deeply, and said, “Cheryl, you are special.  Don’t ever forget that.”   I hung onto those words because I needed them for a lifeline from time to time, and they are the words I clung to when I decided to throw caution to the wind and find my own truth.

It was hard because I have a whole shitload of trauma and drama most people would never be able to lift out of. If you knew my complete story (and some of you reading do); you would all understand if I just packed up my bags and lived in self pain for the rest of my miserable life. YOU would be compassionate and understand, but I somehow felt there was better for me.

I had to get tough with myself. No more lying inside to attempt to make myself OR SOMEONE ELSE feel better. That didn’t work. No more lying and secrets, shame and stuffing. Time to get real. When I finally did GET IT I was pleasantly surprised to find my own Truth is actually very special. Who I am. What I am. And where I am going all became very clear to me. I know now I’ll never look back.

My new attitude doesn’t mean I don’t still hurt myself from time to time with my own human impulses.  And I can get just as reactive as the next guy (sometimes that show really looks ridiculous), but today I look at it like I make mistakes, but I am no longer ‘a’ mistake.  And I ignore set backs.

Sometimes the worst of the worst has to happen to us before we are ready to use available tools (and there are options for everyone when we look) to recover from trauma.

I learned I had to stop being a baby and to realize I am not the only suffering soul. There are people out there far worse off than me and when I open my eyes and see how much I really do have I immediately have emotional peace.

I should be more compassionate at times when I see the whining and crying over everyday minute solvable things; I realize it irritates me only because I was there too and perhaps I’m mad at myself for not understanding sooner.  Petty gossip to reduce your friend just about drives me around the bend. We don’t take responsibility anymore. Everything is everyone else’s fault or we are a victim of circumstances. What if you are suffering because you like to? Perhaps this is what your psyche is use to and so you keep doing it?

I suggest we are better than that, under the clutter. You (yes you!) are an amazing person with a potential for an amazing mission. Lift up out of the bowels of emotional despair and find your hero within.  When this is achieved I suspect you too will find your wounds actually do lead you to your exciting life purpose.  The walls will all come down and you’ll not only think outside of your old box, you’ll see there is no box at all!

That’s my message, that’s all. I don’t want to pick on anyone feeling down and out.  It would hurt me if I knew my message hurt someone who is feeling powerless right now. My intention for writing today holds two thoughts: 1. I like to share to inspire people up, and 2. I like to vent (sound out my passion) this way. I find it therapeutic. 🙂  If this did not suit your story that is fine too. ❤

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a seasoned Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of Wesk Kelowna, BC Canada. She specializes in mental illness resolution including depression, anxiety, mood disorders, grief, loss, sexual abuse, childhood trauma.  Cherylann is trained using the latest therapeutic hypnotic techniques including suggestion, regression, PLRegression, Parts and Cords therapies for habits, loss and abandonment.

I Put My Eyes Inside of Myself and Guess What I Found?

If you are open, or ready, you will hear me today 🙂  This is big.  And kinda deep.  Be forewarned you may find your own life’s question here today!

The Truth to everything I needed to know about myself was inside of me all along.  I just didn’t dare look.  Based on the harshness of my upbringing, and cruel tapes I continued to play regarding my horrible self (in my mind) how could I comfortably look inside of me without risking finding I am the devil incarnate or something worse?

After I closed my eyes, plugged my nose, and jumped in to myself, instead of finding Ted Bundy’s sister, I found a vision of beauty.  I found my core intentions are usually about a pure as they could get!  I see flaws, I see many mistakes, and when I put it into proportion to my story, I feel instant forgiveness!   Today when I look at myself I see more awesomeness than the bad stuff!  What I thought would be the most painful thing to do, ended up being the easiest ride I’ve had my entire life!  Easy, and addicting and healthy!

Sometimes investigating our feelings and behaviors is the hardest thing to do.  Our disturbance makes us feel moody, off balance, uncertain.  Soon enough the negative (dark) emotions overtake the good light and energy from our always decaying bodies.  They weigh heavy on our heart, spirit, soul, that we can hardly function sometimes.  Feelings can become a physical sickness if the root of the disturbance is never brought to light. It can be terminal by accident, homicide or suicide, or death by utter heartbreak.

Anger.  Fear.  Worry.  Guilt.  Shame.  Jealousy.  Envy.  Self loathing. Insecurity.  These are our enemies.  This is stress and anxiety right there.  These are our demons that have to be conquered to feel well emotionally.  And what do we do?  We keep feeding them.  We allow them to reside inside of ourselves for long periods of time.  The energy suckers just keep getting bigger and bigger creating havoc and conflict and covering up our actual strong, beautiful, amazing selves.

Some people think our emotions are impossible to be rid of because they are a part of our being, our core.  And some say I am asking too much.   The nay-sayers swear emotions are created by something not in their control.  Serotonin or a person did it too us.  Not so grasshopper, not so.  If you can imagine the worst, the way you are, you can imagine the best!  You have always had full control but no one ever told you that.  They said you were sick, or a hopeless sinner.  They judged you with their vivid imagination.  And you allowed your imagination to see the same bullshit someone else told you was wrong.  Your thinking, feelings, emotions…all learned imaginary beliefs, or made up by yourself.

Our God-given purity is so encased in negative and disruptive emotions we hardly know our true selves anymore.  We begin to act out.  Alcohol, pot, and anti-depressant abuse takes over until our brains are so nicely flat-lined, we just don’t care anymore.  We become apathetic to our living situations. Our hell.  We get use to it.  It becomes as real as anything solid to us.  My message is that we are held back only by our limited belief systems.  Me…you…all of us are in this together.  Most of us have indulged in the feel-good quick fix, am I lying?

If we learned how to deal with our troubling emotions, and allowed ourselves to be completely honest, we would all be walking around free with a heart full of passion and a head full of gratitude instead of all of this stress and anxiety.

I want you to do something (please).  Take your most troublesome emotion.   Name one.  Look closely at what it is, and what it means.  Do you own it or is it a lie you have accepted into yourself?  For example, if you are walking around with a heavy heart of guilt, or shame, put it up to the light of day and take a good hard look at it.  Do you own that?  Do you deserve a lifetime of self-abuse because you are to be ashamed of yourself, or guilty for some infraction during your life?  Did you do it deliberately?  Is it something you can change?  Was your intention to harm some one or some thing?  If not, what, exactly, are you holding onto the shame or guilt for???

Are you filled with fear and anxiety?  What is going on there I wonder?!  Look inside, you know it, you remember everything.  Once you find the Truth in the emotion your symptoms will diminish instantly because you will know exactly what to do to ‘solve’ the problem, or you may there is nothing to do about it at all.  Inside of your true core self you will find you are innocent, safe, and in control of everything, and the renewed power feels GREAT!

When you finally allow the truth to surface in the face of your feelings, you will be AMAZED at how beautiful, and wonderful, the Truth really is!  You were never suppose to give up!  The subject is even crazy to consider, isn’t it?  If you are so foreign to the rest of us humans and you care to punish yourself forever that is another matter.  Then you have to go inside and find out why you beat yourself so harshly for your human frailties.  Sure, figure out what it is you need to change about yourself.  Admit it.  Own it.  And now stop it.  Done.  It really is that simple, and you really do have that much control over yourself.  Have you given yourself life for this infraction?  Is that appropriate?   We are but a sum of learned thinking and feeling.  We are better than whatever that looks and feels like.

Through the ages we have been brainwashed by either pharmaceutical commercials or religious organizations to believe we have no control over our emotional or physical well being.  That God or drugs will save us, nothing else.   I am saying we are trained, generation before generation since the beginning of time that we are NOT to depend on our own good common sense!  We are sinners!  We are Sick!  Only GOD or Effexor will bring you back to life, depending on your belief system.   The trouble is, these are lies for most of the population in emotional trouble!   Our very own girl (or boy) inside is pure, healthy, fit, powerful, confident, and in control of everything.   Not only that, we are really filled with love, compassion and JOY!  In every generation before us higher powers have tried (and really succeeded didn’t they?) to take our gift of free will (control over selves) away in the name of power, control, money.  W to believe in something other than ourselves and that is the worst mistake a spirit can make…believing it!

The more lies, secrets, shame we stuff, the more we lose of that better part of ourselves.   The more we lose our light.

Let’s look at another emotion you may be harboring, driving yourself crazy with.  Anger.  I was once told by a mentor of mine, years ago, that any anger I hang onto, is anger at myself and myself alone.  I said that makes no sense.  Someone did me wrong, robbed me, and I can be angry, right?  She said, “Right.”  For a minute.  Then you deal with it, talk about it, get it out in the open – or end something you have no control over.  Anything after that is you, and you need to see what you are so mad at yourself for.  Chances are it will be something like you picked him, or stayed too long, or didn’t speak up, or could have moved and didn’t…you get my meaning.  All emotions belong solely to the beholder.  Think about the last time you were angry for a long period of time at someone, or some situation.  It stuck to you like a stickly black toxic poison and you allowed it to stay a while.  I’ll tell you why.  You did something wrong and were mad at yourself.  Done.  Owning your stuff is the key to ending the free rent for enemy feelings.  The next thing to do is forgive yourself and decide to do it even better next time.  Learn, let go, live.  We are born to make mistakes, we are not A mistake!

But you see here is the problem:  Many of us were raised in situations that created negative tapes in our heads.  We learned to play these tapes, over and over and over in our own little vulnerable minds, beating the living life out of ourselves, because of these messages we learned to think, “I am stupid.”  “I am ugly.”  “I am too ____.”  or my favorite of all, “I am _____,”.  Name your judgment because that is all it is…a learned judgment.  They are not facts.  They have no power because they are not real.  They are the figment of the imagination, typically brought on by an experience, an outside judgment, or a series of experiences that made our minds add one and one and come up with something not true.  And then we feed that to oblivion sometimes.

Today is a good day to take a peek at what is really going on inside.  Pull out any emotion you choose, and decide you are done feeling it.  Look at it carefully, examine all sides.  If it is yours, do something about it.  If it is not yours, or if it is not a proven fact, shift your imagination to something else.  Something better for yourself.  It all starts with a new thought, the seed of everything.

Wishing everyone reading this love, peace and light.

Cherylann Thomas

http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca

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Cherylann Thomas is a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association operating a successful hypnotherapy practice in West Kelowna, British Columbia.  Skype Service is available.

Are You Driving Yourself Insane?

Warning: This article is graphic and may have triggers for some.

The most seriously mentally ill win the award for the best vivid imaginations.  They can conjure up all sorts of thoughts and ideas in their heads that are absolute nonsense, B.S. not proven, not even validated a little bit.  And yet we all, at one time or another, allow self-defeating thoughts to enter our consciousness, roll around and around as if it is the Truth, making it the Truth with added imaginary thoughts to confirm our righteousness in our lying positions.  There are degrees of mental illness, depending on the severity of the lies we try to hold onto.

This is personal for me.  When my only child, Trevor, died at the young age of 25, my imagination almost drove me to the brink of madness, if it didn’t once or twice (or too many times to count) in the years that followed his accident.  Where was he?  Did he go to hell?  He wasn’t a Christian and I know he was quite anti-religion period.  So, what does this mean for his future in death?  You can imagine my horror.  A mother is a mother unto eternity and she will always have the intuitive need to protect her young, even in death.

How can I go on knowing, based on all of my biblical and religious training, that Trevor was burning in hell!?  His car accident involved fire; lots of fire, 80% of his body was burned — what did I allow that little smidget of information about the accident do to my imagination?  You can only guess.  Finally, I went so far down the imaginary road of hell I actually believed for a while that I killed my son through my woeful anti-motherly neglect.

I allowed myself to remember every single parental infraction – that time I went off the deep end on him – and that look on his face, like he was slapped or something, was to haunt me forever now.  I worked too hard, went to school at night.  Belonged to every political and community organization that would have me.  I wasn’t there for Trevor.  He grew up to be killed over my early neglect.  More fantastical thoughts came and I let them buggers have a seat and get comfortable in the confines of my vulnerable mind too.  It was a party, complete with lots and lots of booze and pills to numb the fantasy when it got too much.

Soon, my imagination gave way to a complete emotional breakdown.  There was no where else to go.  Insanity, or death. That was it for me.  I was weaning off of anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and even anti-psychotic drugs because I knew by then my life was a wasteland and not moving forward with them.  I didn’t want to feel drugged anymore.

In avoiding pain, I accumulated more of it.

Suddenly, clear thinking now, everything I had stuffed for almost five years came at me like a tidal wave.  My son was dead all over again.  My marriage ended in my oblivion, We lost access to our grandson.  We gained custody of our granddaughter. I was going bankrupt. Life was an utter mess and I was left to deal with it, chemical free.  The emotional pain was too much to bear, friends. And I made the decision to end it.  I could not tolerate the mental torture going on in my mind one more minute.  My thoughts literally drove me to insanity.

I chose death.

That fateful night I swerved hard-right onto a mountain wall speeding at 110 kmph (about 75 mph I think).  There was nothing but my car embedded into the mountain and me, as I was removed by emergency crews.  I was in shock, trying to comprehend a completely totaled car, and not a mark on my body or ache to my bones.  I didn’t tell the emergency crew who showed up in complete disbelief that I was alive, that I saw an angel in my steering wheel at the moment of impact.  The angelic face was as clear as the wall that I smashed into.

Everything made sense to me in that split second, that moment of impact.  I knew my time was not up.  No one goes until it is their time, and this was not it for me.

I suddenly had a mission.

I didn’t even stay in the hospital for much of a psychiatric evaluation (3 days mandatory I think).  I wanted to get home and get to work.  I had to completely destroy those drugs and get help.  I had to be honest with someone.  I killed my son and I needed to be punished out right, or just let me go. (Don’t ask, this is the stuff that was in my head.)  I knew I was at the bottom and there was no where else to go except up.  I said these very words to myself, “If I have to live, I insist on living in peace!”

I decided to start with hypnotherapy because I knew it was a stress relieving therapy, if nothing else, and I was filled to the rim with stress.  Little did I know that I would find myself in those 14 sessions.  I learned who I was, and more importantly, what I was doing to myself. The abuse I managed to give and take (from myself) was more than most people could bear.  I was allowing my imagination to be the Truth, when it was full of lies, judgments, misconceptions, ignorance, and being naive to the power of my own ability to drive myself insane.

My imagination got me into this mess, it also got me out!

So what is the Truth that set me free?  In the safety of hypnosis my therapist had me imagine Trevor was standing in front of me.  What would he say to me, regarding his upbringing?  Is it possible he would hug me? She had me imagine the words Trevor would speak, because I knew him the best, she said.   I sat and listened, …and the words he would have said came to me.  Wonderful love and support and compassion filled my head.  I was given my freedom back.  Imagining the Truth, the real Truth, brought me home.  I allowed my imagination to imprison me, punish me, and almost execute me.  Now I was using my imagination to understand the Truth.

In fact, my love for Trevor is the Truth.  The only truth that matters at all.  And my knowledge of his love for me is the same Truth.  There is no way my son would reject me, so I allowed myself to stop imagining he would.  My own worst case situation was a lying fantasy all along.

And hell finally left me alone.  Feelings of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, all receded, and were replaced with forgiveness, compassion and love.  Now, to me, only love is real.  Everything else is my enemy.  I seek out the Truth in all of my emotions, and every time, every single time, I win again.

We use our imaginations to scare ourselves to insanity, or death.  Now search for your Truth just by using your imagination to find it.  Believe in yourself.  Your good self.  Your real self.  Stop feeding the lies, and encourage the Truth in your own mind; it is what will not only allow you to survive, but thrive.

“That which can be destroyed by Truth, should be.” P.C. Hodge.

Do you like this article?  Please share with your friends and help spread the word of hope for the ones who thought there was none.

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Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim CH,t is now a Clinical Hypnotherapist registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in helping her clients resolve anxiety, depression, grief, loss and abandonment, weight loss, fears and phobias.  Cherylann has an extremely important ingredient to her successful therapy practice: Personal experience.  Non judgmental and compassionate, you can count on her to help you find the root of your internal conflict; your Truth.

Now available on Skype.  Please visit her website at http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca and come like her Facebook page! http://www.facebook.com/mindmiracleshypnotherapy

What is Hypnotherapy and How Does it Work?

Hypnotherapy is the fastest leading drug free process for improving mental and emotional conditions that keep folks stuck.  So, what does it mean and how does it work?  AND…can you be hypnotized?

This form of therapy goes back to 3000 years in Greece. The priests of the day had sleep temples and soul healing was done for suffering patrons.   In the early 1900’s hypnosis as a therapy was used by the new psychiatrists of the era to save clients from their own crazy imaginations. In the 1970’s the technique came back bountiful as psychiatrists found the process was favorable in ending fears, phobias, anxieties and negative habitual thoughts, feelings and behavior.  Here, in the early 2000s, hypnosis and hypnotherapy are widely used around the world by forward thinking psychiatrists and therapists to help clients get to the root of internal troubles, as an alternative to medication and/or talk therapy for emotional relief.

People find this powerful meditative process an amazingly simple way to finding the inner core of oneself, to remove all unnecessary critical conscious mind stuff that goes on, and see ourselves for what we really are.  Beautiful. Strong. Confident and in control of everything we think, feel, and do.  In hypnotherapy we find our purpose. Our passion. Ourselves.

So how does Hypnotherapy work?  

Break down the word to Hypno (sleep) and Therapy.  When we feel stressed our bodies’ tense up.  So the first order of business is to put the body to sleep.  We get use to feeling mind stress and later don’t understand why we develop joint or muscle pain, or headaches and other physical issues.  Our bodies need more healthy rest.

Hypno is about putting the body to sleep.  The Delta level of sleep, same as bedtime sleeping.  The body feels extremely heavy, that even if you wanted to open your eyes you couldn’t — you’re relaxed too much to want to move your body in this wonderful rest.  30 minutes of hypnosis is valued at 8 hours of bedtime sleeping for the body.  It is extremely good for you, much like meditation.   If your brain is hooked up to a sleep meter, it will show it is Delta asleep.

How do you know you were hypnotized?

When you emerge from a hypnotherapy session you may find your eyes have watered — we do leak from the eyes at Delta…you know how you wake up in the morning with little crusty’s around the tear ducts?  The same happens in hypnotherapy.   We may feel our hands and feet tingle, our internal furnace goes up, or down.  The best way to know you have been hypnotized is the amazing change you suddenly feel; capable of mastering anything you set your mind to.  Instead of telling yourself “No I can’t” you begin to allow yourself to think, “Yes I can!”

I Don’t Want to Lose My Control by being asleep during therapy! Doubters may wonder.

Your mind is AWAKE.  You hear what is going on around you, you can do your best mental work while ‘asleep’ and your hypnotherapist will guide you to the root cause of whatever problem you want stopped, or whatever part of you you want to be better.   Using metaphors, visualizations, emolizations, and your own wonderful creative imagination will turn any weakness into a strength during hypnotherapy.

Hypnotherapy cannot be done on someone without their expressed permission.  

All hypnosis is self hypnosis.  If hypnotherapists could make someone do something against their will they would be the rulers of the earth!   Perhaps you have seen the entertainment hypnosis on stage, in front of an audience.  A very small percentage of us can go into hypnosis in that manner.  Only 20% of the population, in fact.  So if 25 people go up to the stage, only five will stay and be hypnotized, dancing around like a chicken or some other fun spectacle. If the Hypnotist told the participants to go out and kill someone, or themselves, or give him or her money…the buck would stop, the unconscious mind would emerge and stop it.  The unconscious mind keeps us safe, always.

You may not be one of the 20% who accept suggestions for entertainment! 

The good news is 100% of non brain damaged folks CAN be hypnotized in a therapeutic environment.  All it takes is a willingness to follow relaxation of the body processes, and to use your beautiful imagination in a creative, profound and meaningful way.  Your therapist shows you that bleed on your heart, or some inner pipe that may be cracked or broken, or some lack of self control disconnect; and then guides you to proven self-healing techniques.  You really are your own best physician!  

There are several types of Hypno-therapy processes including Suggestion Therapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Parts Therapy, Regression, PLRegression, and Cords therapy for grief and loss.  Your practitioner will know what technique(s) would work best for you.

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is registered with the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association.  She specializes in helping her clients end depression, resolve anxiety, remove phobias and unnatural fears, grief, loss, and weight loss.  Skype service is now available.

For more information visit http://www.MindMiraclesHypnotherpy.ca and call to schedule your Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy session today!

You are better than you think.

What Does Stress Do to Your Body?

Stress gets the award for the highest ranking disorder in causing death.  Heart disease, cancers of all varieties, skin diseases, liver and kidney disease; even suicide and murder are inspired by..you got it, stress.

Close your eyes, and imagine your own body for a moment.  And feel all of that emotional pain of fear, worry, guilt, shame, anger, resentment again.  Just for a minute.  Where do you feel this in your body?  Is it in your chest?  Your heart and lungs could be at risk for dis-ease.  Does something stir up in your tummy area?  Your intestines, bowel, stomach, liver and kidneys are being ravaged by the stress you carry.  Maybe you feel the ANX in your abdomen and you often experience health issues in that area. Or, if you remember your emotional pain as being felt in the head (usually the enemy beasts of anger and resentment) you may have ache, or even some difficulty with the physical brain.

Take a moment to focus really hard on what your emotional upset is doing to that part of your body.  Think of it as black.  Prickly.  Heavy.  Poisonous.  and just watch it (in your mind’s eye) swirl around and attack your insides.

If that doesn’t inspire you to do something about the weights you carry around with you then nothing will.  Stress comes from overwhelming feelings of worry, fear, guilt, shame, anger, resentment.  All of these emotions are useless to our psyche, but we tend to fall back to them every time a little incident happens in our lives.  Sometimes we let those energy suckers hang around so long within us, we begin to feel the disease of the stress on a physical level.  Tense muscles come from stress, so walking around like a pinched up peg isn’t going to be good for the bones, joints, and muscles either.  Sometimes new unsubstantiated diagnoses come then, followed by, you guessed it, more drugs.

Contrary to what the commercials tell us, we do have control over our own emotions.  Sometimes we don’t think we do, but we really do have all of the control we need to manage ourselves.  When we think we have no control we are at risk of believing the filthy rich pharmaceutical companies who would like you to believe that Serotonin, a chemical imbalance issue, is the culprit to your feelings and drugs are needed. Trillions of dollars and millions of lost lives later, we see that we still don’t have a blood test to verify what we have been fed on that matter.  No matter who I talk to, the ones prescribed and taking psychiatric drugs, all firmly believe that they are mentally sick forever, and the drugs will be needed forever. Frequent dosage increases are needed as the drug adjusts itself to the brain.

What if the DRUG WITHDRAWAL is making you feel unstable?

People just don’t see that they feel ‘mental’ when they try to stop taking the drugs, because the drug got itself addicted to your brain almost immediately (just like heroin) and trying to stop makes the brain feel very unstable.  So, people believe they really do have a physical issue and no control over making their lives better and carry on with their drug solution.

If only we could end stress the drug free way.  If we would teach young and old people coping skills to feel more peace of mind, we would be doing humanity a huge service.  What is going on now is not only creating early deaths, it is making us mindless mental pygmies; slaves to the anti-depressant and other psychiatric medication to overcome feelings.

Dare to look at what your stress is doing to your body.  Look close and ask yourself if you really need to live like that, or if maybe you do have more inside power than you ever gave yourself credit for.  I challenge you that you do have a superhero inside of YOU just waiting to be unleashed from all of the heaviness you allow to stay around.  Stop it.  Get up off the couch and go get yourself some coping skills.  There are free support groups everywhere.  Other than actual brain damage, there is no excuse for anyone to live in pain, alone…and drugged!

It is our secrets, our shames, our stuffing of things that need to be out in the open that will lead to stress and early death. Go find out why you do that, and your new lovely life will begin!

God bless you everyone.  I wish you all love, peace of mind and extreme happiness!

Cherylann Thomas, B.Sc.Crim, CH,t is a Clinical Hypnotherapist practitioner working out of the Family Wellness Centre in Westbank.  Specializing in:  anxiety, depression, phobias, and weight loss.  Using a variety of techniques including regression therapy, parts therapy and suggestion therapy to empower clients find their own inner power.  Skype service now available.  778-755-4001.  http://www.mindmiracleshypnotherapy.ca